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Vicki's Blog

My thoughts on education, improvement, and life itself.  Enjoy!

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Royal Lessons for Success

11/3/2015

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PictureKC Royals celebrations - one of many posted on Facebook
So many stories have emerged from the Kansas City Royals World Series Championship.  The most compelling story for me is the one of relationships:  the kind and quality that exists between the Royals players and coaches, and the love affair the city has with their team. 
 
Winners are successful at the endeavors they seek and do not have to be a part of any kind of sporting team or event to gain that title.  So while sports may not be your thing, being successful is something most of us aspire to be.  How do we teach our kids to be winners in life?  What lessons can we learn from the Royals successful journey to the top of their sport?  While there are many lessons, let’s focus on three.
 
1. Relationships Matter:  Who doesn’t love a winner?  Yet no one is born a winner, winners are made.  Winners climb and claw their way to the top.  Most revel in the moment but are quick to point out all those who helped get them to this point.  That’s why Oscar winners have a long list of people to thank, and the Royals players were quick to note teammates, coaches, family, friends, fans, and even angels that have inspired them along the way.  Many have also demonstrated their faith in God, or other higher being, by pointing to the sky, crossing themselves, or verbally giving thanks for the blessings they have received.  No one believes they got there on their own.  And what it boils down to is that finding success does not mean having the most or best talent, but comes from the belief in oneself, support and encouragement from others, the willingness to step up, and the heart to never quit.  The bottom line is, “Who got you there, baby?”   Relationships matter.
 
2. Having a plan and sticking to it, albeit with adjustments along the way, is an important step in the success process.  Dayton Moore, Kansas City’s General Manager did just that.  You can read all about it in his book (More Than a Season:  Building a Championship Culture) or understand the value he places on relationships by this quote from Jeff Passon’s article in Yahoo News, “The Epic Story of the 2015 Royals and their World Series Championship:”
 
And while Moore embraced statistics, he never forsook the maxims of scouting, one of which was to focus on people, trust them and bask in their success.  “You believe in ’em,” Moore said. “You knew they were going to battle, to put ourselves in a position to win. And they did it.”
 
Even one of Moore’s purposes for writing the book was to recognize the relationships that got both him and the Royals to this championship level as noted in Andy McCullough’s, The K Zone blog,  “It allows us to give credit to a lot of the people who did much of the heavy lifting.”
 
Yes the plan to build a championship culture began with the foundation of focusing on the people.  He not only looked at their skills, but their character and willingness to play hard.  It reminds me of another great coach, Bill Snyder, who built a desolate K-State Football program by creating a culture of hard work, attention to detail, and a focus on success by recruiting men of character, and bringing them all together as family.
 
3.  Never Give Up:  Things happen that get in our way, make us feel bad, or cause us to alter our course.  The bottom line is, developing the capacity to push forward in the face of adversity or frustration begins with one’s attitude.  It doesn’t mean you don’t acknowledge the obstacle or lack of expertise, it means you look for a way around it or through it.  You learn from mistakes – both your own and those that others make – and make adjustments.  The decisions we make and the actions we take determine our course and ultimately our destiny.  We don’t have to be perfect.  We do have to “Keep the Line Moving” as the Royals would say.
 
It also takes a belief that we will find a way to succeed.  Sometimes keeping that faith or belief is hard, but ultimately gets us to our goal.  One of my favorite quotes speaks to the idea that many often give up just before they would have found success.  Dale Carnegie was quoted as saying, “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”  I must admit I could actually be a member of “quoteaholics” because I love them!  They grace my office in books and frames and motivate me because they make me think about my own attitude and subsequent actions.  Just ask my former players and students.  There hardly was a day that went by that they didn’t see a quote on the board in the classroom or the locker room.  Quotes aren’t actions but they spur me to action.  The message here is:  Find a way to succeed.
 
Bonus Lesson (Kids and adults need to realize this too):  Sometimes it’s lonely at the top and once you get there, the pressure is on to stay there.  How do we teach kids to keep on setting new goals and fending off those who would minimize their accomplishments?  I’ve seen it happen all too often in school.  Maybe it starts with what we see in the media.  Read on.
 
Unfortunately as teams or individuals ascend to the top they often fall prey to those who would seek to tear them down for whatever reason.  Jealousy, disappointment, second-guessing, the blame game… they all rear their ugly heads when we find success and more often if we fall short of reaching our goals.  The Mets were the best team in the National League and played in the World Series, but instead of this accomplishment being celebrated throughout New York City in all venues (especially because they weren’t expected to be there), the headline in the New York Post focused on their bitter disappointment by putting them down:  “Amazing Disgrace.”  They did not disgrace themselves despite a couple of untimely errors and emotionally based decisions; they simply didn’t achieve the goal they had set out to. While some newspapers acknowledged that, those few papers whose headlines chose to rub salt into the wound didn’t do anything to help a deeply disappointed Mets team (or their fans) rebound for future success.  Kansas City fans reveled in the 2014 World Series appearance, wondered aloud about the conservative decision to leave a runner on 3rd base to end the game, but rallied behind their team showing them the love and encouraging them to get back up and give it another run.  So often things said in haste or that are negative in nature may not reflect the majority viewpoints, but seem to be the things we remember most because of the pain they cause.  How we respond to disappointment of ourselves and others impacts how we perform in the future.  Mistakes happen.  Goals are not met.  Every. Day.  Relationships matter through both good times and bad; through thick and thin and yes even “til death do us part.”
 
In the meantime, it's time for the parade. I will be #ForeverRoyal and celebrate this 2015 World Series Championship for many years to come because I love my Royals (and of course my Wildcats) as well as my many family and friends who support me through all the many endeavors I undertake.  Where would I be without you?
 
 
 
 


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Merit is in the Eye of the Beholder

9/24/2015

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I was having lunch with a non-educator friend of mine the other day and we started talking about some of the political battles going on right now, including the idea of merit pay for teachers.  She was a former business executive and couldn't understand why teachers were reluctant to embrace the idea of merit pay, especially great teachers.  I did my best to explain a typical educator's position (realizing and acknowledging that not all feel this way), and helped her see a different perspective. However, I figured if she had questions about the merits of merit pay, others might have the same thoughts and questions.    In fact those who often propose and support the idea of merit pay for teachers are not educators, but are applying a business model to education and subsequently educators.  While their intentions may be to support educators, it doesn't always feel that way.  Is merit pay a bad thing or perhaps just more difficult to do in education? Let's explore.

Merit pay is common practice in the business world to reward specific, pre-determined  performance achievements.   As defined by the Department of Labor, merit pay is also known as performance based pay, where a pay increase is based on a specific set of criteria established by the employer.  It is determined by having a conversation with the employee on their performance over a specific time period.  It might be in the form of a bonus or additional sum to a base salary, or it be the only way to get a raise.   In theory it is an incentive to perform at a higher level.  The success of this process rests with the control the employee has over his/her situation, the reality of the performance goals, the competence and consistency of the supervisor, and most of all if the "merit incentives" are meaningful.

The evaluative criteria might be solely established by the employer, or be mutually agreed upon between the employer and the employee.  Given the latter situation, this could take the form of employee performance goals, acquiring new knowledge and skills, improving efficiency, or the quality of their results of the work they are doing/creating.  Employees who have a say in what criteria is established and some control over their work situation, will have greater ownership in this process and feel more accepting of the process.   In the business world there is greater control over the components that make up the products, therefore, theoretically leading to a better product.  While businesses differ in terms of their purpose and focus, but most are still looking at the increasing the "numbers."  

Why is this different for education?  First of all, teachers are not against being rewarded for doing quality work or improving their performance.  However, the art and science of school is not as easily controlled as it is in a manufacturing company or business setting.  As a result, the "numbers" often used in education to determine the quality of one's performance (specifically targeted for teachers) have traditionally equated to a heavy emphasis on student test scores.  These test scores are not produced in a controlled environment because so many variables come into play in terms of the students that enter a classroom on any given day.  In a merit pay system for educators as it is typically proposed, teachers are "rewarded" for the performance of their students based on a specific set of indicators, that almost always include high stakes test scores as the biggest chunk of the pie.  

But relying on 5-18 year old kids to determine my value as an educator is tenuous at best. Kids are kids. Some days they are spot on; they get it; they are engaged in meaningful learning.  Some days they are tired from staying up too late; anxious from listening to their parents fight; or hungry for food or attention.  Sometimes they care.  Sometimes they need you to care.  I am no different.  My lessons can be the best ever, but if students are in a "bad place" in their life that day, the lesson doesn't stick.  Conversely, some days students learn in spite of my lesson or my mood. In reality, some of my best work as a teacher is not reflected in a great test score.  It may have resulted in the improvement of a student's knowledge or skills, but more often it resulted in the building of a relationship, instilling confidence, or making this student feel like he or she mattered. 


One Size Doesn't Fit All.  Education is made up of people teaching and learning.  They bring many skills, behaviors, experiences, attitudes and areas of expertise to the learning environment. There is no checklist, magic bullet, or set prescription to achieve the desired learning for every student, although there are many research based programs and strategies that are proven to be effective. Just as there are many ways to do most jobs, there are many strategies that can be used to teach the same knowledge or skill. In fact, every student in a classroom could have a different learning need that must be addressed by the teacher.  

If a principal walked into my classroom and didn't have much knowledge of my content area (a common issue), how would they know my instruction was effective? While they can look for certain kinds of strategies, classroom management routines, and observe how students respond, they really have no way to determine if that particular lesson is effective in terms of what students can know and do today or tomorrow.  And often, the evaluation rests in the eyes of the beholder so to speak as they project their own preferences and biases into their determination of what effective looks like.  

Another point of consideration is that not everyone teaches the same subject (content area).  Some content areas and grade levels have high stakes tests associated with them; so do not. All are important to developing the well-rounded education of our children. Beyond the instruction of content, it is also important to consider how one measures the soft skills that are required to reach the students in order to teach the students.  So much to measure, so few ways to do it equitably and meaningfully.

High Stakes tests of the past, and to some degree the tests of today too, expect every student to jump a similar bar of proficiency.  We know not all students can do that based on their abilities, no matter how hard they try.  However, if we looked at how much students IMPROVED then the idea of using a variety assessments (including test scores) to determine teacher effectiveness becomes a more palatable and realistic option to determine if an educator deserves some kind of bonus or reward.

Consider that in order for learning to stick it must be relevant and as a result, fluid. The test scores I earn today may not truly reflect just how much I learned and can (or will) use in the future. In my own experience, I have taken tests and done very well and now remember very little from that time, much less use that information. Conversely, I have not scored well on some tests and have come to understand the material more deeply at a later date and now continue to use that information in my daily life.  True learning (understanding) is not found in a checklist or on a test.  It is an on-going, lifelong experience of making meaningful connections, while refining and using what we know and can do.  These kinds of things don't fit neatly into a performance -based formula.

Finally, I believe the most significant thing that contributes to educators' skepticism of the merits of merit pay is the fact that so many things are done TO educators instead of WITH educators.  Lately the same legislators that are proposing merit pay have been using educators as scapegoats or whipping boys, tying their hands with reduced funding, and promoting the idea of school choice (where funds are diverted from public schools) insinuating that public schools (and therefore the teachers in public schools) are not worthy of public support.

No teacher supports poor teaching or mediocrity or wants either of those to be rewarded.  But the reality is, until a system of incentives can be put in place that is not so subjective and not heavily based on test scores that may not truly reflect the efforts of the teacher, educators find little incentive to support merit pay.  In the mean time, my advice is to talk with educators. Involve them in sharing ideas on how best to identify the actions that lead to student success.  Determine what incentives they find most meaningful.  You might be surprised to find out it could be something other than a bonus or boost in salary.

Education is also kind of a "team sport" if you will.  We are looking to improve groups of children as well as individuals either as a part of the classroom, building, or district.  We want teachers to work together for the greater good of student success, not compete for limited dollars that could distract from the mission of what's best for kids.  If you believe competition improves performance, then you will have a hard time with this concept.  Anyone who knows me realizes I'm a huge competitor, but there is a time to pull together to compete to get better rather than compete for an individual prize.  If you focus on getting better everyday, the results will speak for themselves.  Just look to Bill Snyder and what he has done with K-State Football using this same philosophy.

I can't think of a teacher who wouldn't be happy to accept a higher salary, have incentives of additional time and financial compensation for post-graduate degrees like many businesses offer their employees, along with other business-like perks. But mostly, educators would like to be respected for the professionals they are and supported for the work they do with your children every day.  The reality is we are public employees.  We will never be rich in monetary compensation, but we are rich in knowing we make a difference in the lives of our students.  Yes, there are teachers who should be working in a different field.  Yes, there are outstanding teachers who deserve to be recognized and compensated accordingly for their efforts.  But the vast majority of teachers will never receive any public accolades, but to someone they are a hero or the lifeline that they so desperately need. They go to work everyday to find a way to spark learning in every student, and help those same students reach their full potential - basically to do what is best for kids.  

Even Jamie Vollmer, successful ice cream businessman and author, came to the realization that you can't run a school like a business.  If you haven't seen The Blueberry Story, click here.

The merit of anything is in the eye of the beholder.  It is a value judgment we place on what we deem valuable or important.  Let's ask educators what they think is important before we force yet another law or regulation on them regardless of our intentions.  Let's restore the merit of education as a whole and those who make that system work.  Every educator matters, just like every kid matters. Let teachers know you appreciate them - there's a lot of merit in that!

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Notes to Self on My Hike Through Life 

8/28/2015

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 When I was teaching full time, the mountains were where I recharged my batteries nearly every summer.   I still find the mountains, and particularly Rocky Mountain National Park, one of my top destinations no matter how many times I've visited in the past.  There is something inspiring about the mountain views, comforting in familiar surroundings, and challenging as we seek new things to see and do.  

With each return visit, the challenge is finding new thing(s) can we see or do in addition to revisiting old favorites.  This year's new emphasis was hiking on trails we haven't done before, but ones that would work with our fitness levels and age.  Yes, those considerations matter if we want to have a good trip!  Note to self:  preparation increases the chances of success.

We started with some walking (shopping!) and low level (although nothing is really level in the mountains) hikes so we could get used to the altitude.  One of the things I decided to try this time around was a walking stick for the trails.  So my first souvenir purchase was a walking stick.  It felt good in my hand as I walked from shop to shop and I thought I was set!  Then I forgot my hiking stick the first time out on an actual trail.  Note to self:  New tools require new habits!  

We visited an area of the park that had been affected by a flood a couple of years ago, noting the changes and the renovations that had occurred.   Just like the people you meet, you don't know what has happened in their lives to bring them to this point that affects their attitudes, behaviors, or results. Note to self:  Be mindful of circumstances that may change what was once familiar.

The next day our hikes increased in length and intensity.  And just as we'd hoped, we saw sights we'd never seen before.  My homework was paying off (and so was that new walking stick!).  We opted to get off the road and away from the popular destinations and hike trails that led us to beautiful, cascading water falls in an area of the park we rarely visited.  My walking stick made these new trails easier to navigate, so my husband decided he needed one too!  The enjoyment was in our new adventure.  Laughter prevailed as we failed at taking timed photos, and succeeded at retrieving a dropped an apple from the rushing water. Note to self:  Get off the beaten path. Be present.  Enjoy the moments.

After the intensity of the previous day, we explored our favorite lake trails that required more energy to take pictures than it did to complete the hikes.  But the steps kept registering on my fitness device and we made progress.  Note to self:  Take time to rest so you can accomplish the rest.

All of this preparation led up to our last hiking destination  - a lake many hike to each day, as evidenced by the fact it has it's own trail head destination on the park service shuttle service route.  We asked questions about the best route (there were 3 options) and we enacted our plan.  It was a great hike; harder than we imagined in some places with the steep, rocky terrain challenging our physical skills, but not our resolve.  We paused frequently to rest, talk with other hikers, take pictures, and tend to my blisters (I should have worn the other pair of shoes!).  This was not a race but a journey.  We allowed other hikers along the trail to "play through," but their speed did not deter us one bit.  The beautiful views from the trail were just as rewarding as our destination would be, as the canopy of tall pines that shaded our path also  provided my husband with another walking stick (or two!).  But the ultimate reward was that first glimpse of the mountain lake, surrounded by majestic peaks and thick forests.  We were refreshed by the breeze, but wished it would die down momentarily to still the waters and give us the reflection every photographer seeks!   Note to self:  The greatest things in life don't come from our comfort zones.

Surprisingly the hike back down the trail wasn't as easy as we often believe it will be - since we went up, up, up and now we're headed down, down, down.  The rocky terrain and steep descents made for treacherous footing and a slow go.  But once again, I was inspired by sights I hadn't noticed on the way up because I was focused on the path and not what was around me.  The extra walking sticks my husband picked up turned out to be helpful tools as we navigated the steep and rocky path. We took turns leading and determining the best path through rugged sections of the trail. We encouraged each other and offered advice to hikers heading up the trail. We rejoiced as we passed through the smoother, flatter parts of the trail. Slow and steady brought us home and kept my blisters at bay.  Our biggest challenge was over.  It was the last leg of our journey before we prepared to head home.  Note to self:  Together Everyone Achieves More.


This whole vacation experience has been a metaphor for life and actually, a lot like school.  Each year I was inspired by my colleagues to work hard and achieve new goals; comforted in returning to familiar surroundings and routines; and challenged to try new things and help my students be the best they could be.   What inspires, comforts and challenges you?

Each school year teachers blend what worked before with what new learner and/or learning challenges are before them.  Just as  I did my homework this spring once we decided that Estes Park and Rocky Mountain National Park would be our vacation destination, teachers spent their summer learning new ideas, strategies, and skills to prepare for the upcoming school year.  What new thing will you learn to do or place will you visit?  How will you turn the routine into something fresh?

Teachers and students alike will look for what they find familiar and blend that with all things new and different.   They will rely on knowledge and skills previously learned to support new learning.  Teachers will help kids learn by guiding them on practice hikes working up to the ultimate learning goals. How will you prepare for new situations?

There will be challenges and parts of the learning experience that will require perseverance and adjustments to be made. But there will also be beautiful views and successes to be celebrated.  We often wonder if it's worth it or if we should walk away.  What helps you keep moving forward?

Teachers will use new tools and resources, much like my walking stick, to improve teaching and learning experiences.  Those new tools and skills will require some getting used to but  in the end will help more than they expected.  What resources are available?  What else do you need?

Most of all, these journeys are team events for teachers and students alike.  But whether you are in education or not, we all need someone to share our journey, support and guide us.  We also benefit from others with whom we engage in conversation and share the benefits of our experiences. Before we know it, the school year (or calendar year) will be over.  As we look back, we realize new memories were made, lessons were learned, and challenges were met.  The reward will be the journey as well as achieving the goal.  Note to self:  As we hike through life's journeys, what will capture our hearts, challenge our minds and bodies, and make a difference in our own lives and others' too?


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People Lessons from the Farm Cats

7/24/2015

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I'm happy to say that I'm walking regularly again.  My usual path consists of traveling around our circle driveway many, many times during my 30 minute walk. I realize this is a redundant path, but it has given me the opportunity to get better acquainted with our cats as I observe their behavior during my walk time.  The kittens are especially fun to watch, but I have noticed there are also many lessons to learn from all our farm cats that can help us make a difference.

Relationships Matter.  I know there are many of you who consider themselves a "pet person" but I tend to be a "people person" so pets are nice, but I prefer them to be outdoors in my world.  I am never mean to the cats, and would miss them if they were gone, but in reality, I am a disappointment to some of my cat loving family and friends.  However, my husband and son could be considered cat whisperers because they spend quality  time with our cats and as a result have a close relationship with all of them, wielding a lot of influence over their behavior.  I, on the other hand, occasionally throw a can of cat food into their bowl, scratch their heads and talk to them as I pass by.   I readily admit I am attached to them somewhat, but in no way do I have a quality relationship with them and alas, it shows.  Do you know those who treat people this way too?

The kittens tend to be leery of me, even afraid, but the older cats know that I'm good for a couple of minutes of petting them and a brief "how are you" conversation, so we're more like acquaintances than friends.  But if I take the time to talk to the kittens one-on-one in a soft voice with my hand extended to them, I can usually entice them to let me pet them.  One small victory for the people person.  

On a recent walk, the kittens were gravitating toward the highway that runs past our house.  I was trying to talk them out of this and encouraging their mother to get them back to the yard, but my directions were falling on deaf ears. As I began to adjust my path to go round up the kittens, my husband came out of the house and saw what was happening. Immediately he tells them to get back to the house and away from the road and they all did exactly what he told them to do!  Isn't that just like people?  We listen to those who we know care about us.  It's no wonder when he comes outside they come running, and when I come outside, they often run the other way!

One of our kittens is a little different in the way he looks compared to the other three, and definitely is different in his temperament.  My husband calls him "Timmy" because he's naturally timid, slow to trust others, and easily spooked. All the kittens are just as cute as can be and very active, investigating and pouncing on unsuspecting bugs or blowing leaves, and wrestling with each other.  Even Timmy lurks around checking out all the sights and moving things he finds in our yard.  He is a little less timid if his siblings are around - a good case for the old adage that there is safety in numbers.  The kittens chase each other up and around the trees, exploring the junk around our barn, and follow me while I'm walking.  They are naturally curious and looking for fun.  Just like our own human kids tend to be.... until we tell them to sit down and be quiet. 

In contrast to the activity of the kittens is the slower pace of the adult cats.  They lay around, eat, groom themselves and each other, go directly from point A to point B without much investigation, and wait for the "people" to pet them and give them some love.  They tolerate the bouncing kittens who want to play, but passionately defend them when a stray tom cat ventures into our neighborhood.  They are content and in their happy place.  Isn't this like a lot of adults you know?

School is getting ready to start in the next month and my farm cats made me think of the many relationships and feelings that exist at school, whether it's an elementary school, high school, or university.  There will be new students and teachers too, who are both excited and timid in their new situation.  They will explore and investigate their new environment and find comfort and allegiance in those who give them attention and make an effort to know and guide them.  We can only hope it will be the kind of attention we want them to have. They will also be unsure, and will view new situations and some people with skepticism.  We hope someone will reach out and give them a hand, mentoring them toward excellence and fulfillment.  

As they gain more friends, they will gain more confidence, try new things, and understand their boundaries.  They will continue to be excited and energetic if that is what we encourage.  We want them to settle in and be comfortable, but not so comfortable that they no longer are curious and become complacent.  

I worry about the kid that is different or who hasn't found their niche in their new school.  There is comfort in having a circle of friends with whom to play or study, or simply eat with at lunch.  We often think of new students, but forget that there are new teachers too.  They may be totally new to education or simply new to this particular school.  They too need mentoring and patience as they find their way in a new environment.

How will we respond to the kids in our school, our classroom, on our bus, or in our community?  All kids need to feel like they belong and are cared for by those who live and work within their world.  All teachers need to feel they are supported and appreciated too.  How will we make a difference?  Will we just throw some food their bowl and pet them occasionally, as I have done too often with our cats?  Or will we nurture them and give them the attention they deserve so they can trust us and know they are loved and cared for like my husband and son treat our cats?  


I may not be a pet person, but I am a people person, and I want to make sure I do my part to be welcoming and helpful to others every day.  My grandsons will be attending a new school this fall.  I hope someone makes them feel welcome, nurtures them, and helps them find a positive place to learn and grow so they will feel right at home because it's a little farther to grandma's house than it used to be.

 

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My Magical Kingdom:  Getting off the Roller Coaster

7/2/2015

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My son and his new bride may have gone to Disney World for their honeymoon and ridden all of the roller coasters and other exciting rides they could find, but I can relate to their experience and I never left my neck of the woods!  Welcome to my Magical Kingdom that I call life!  I seem to be taking a metaphorical travelogue as I reflect on the last couple of months!

Maybe roller coaster or whirlwind doesn't really describe my last couple of months, but it has gone by fast. There have been a lot of highs and even a few lows.  There have been smiles and laughter, bright lights, and unfortunately, some dark passages too.   As I got on this latest ride, my anticipation of things to come was high.  I knew I'd be a little anxious as so much loomed in front of me, but I also knew I would thoroughly enjoy the ride.  It may have started slowly, but it didn't take long to build to full speed as I raced through the many things that I'd been looking forward to.  But as I found myself hurtling down the track, at times seemingly out of control,  I wondered, on more than one occasion, when I would be able to get off and breathe a bit! 

Maybe it's been more like going through a buffet.  My plate is only so big, but somehow I manage to fill that plate to overflowing, all the while knowing that eating in moderation is always the best strategy.  But I somehow work my way through that plate of delicious food, wanting to enjoy every bit, but realizing that sometimes I put something there that didn't taste as good as it looked, or I just can't eat one. more. bite.

For me, this is a pretty typical life.  Whether it's a roller coaster or a buffet full of great looking food, I seem to be right in the middle of it all.  I race around trying to do too much, help too often, end up staying up too late, and find myself searching desperately for the light at the end of this month's tunnel.  But as each day progresses, and more gets checked of my "To Do" list, I allow myself a few minutes to enjoy this life I am leading.  

My son's wedding, noted in previous blog posts, was the fairy tale for which we all hoped and planned.  As much as I tried to take it all in as it was occurring, it was still a blur.  So many family and friends came to celebrate with us, and I am grateful for the photos that are emerging from the photographers that have truly captured many special moments.  Those pictures allow me to get back on that ride over and over again.

The 2 weeks spent hosting summer workshops were great.  I loved seeing and being a part of so much quality  learning happening with our area's dedicated educators.  Despite the recent roller coaster that education has been on in our state both politically and financially, teachers are continuously looking to improve their knowledge and skills so that they can do what's best for kids.  There is no greater ride than to see the light bulb go on in they eye of the learner.  These educators truly care and I am blessed that they find value in what we are trying to accomplish with our workshop offerings.  As this latest roller coaster ride ended, I found myself already looking forward to next year's ride! 

As I look around the Magic Kingdom of my life, I see lots of changes going on too that lead to new roller coaster rides to look forward to.  My daughter's family is moving which is causes both excitement and anxiety for all of us.  It's a new adventure for them, but one that will cause us to create a new normal.  There have been licensure tests passed and new jobs for family members that get us excited, but breakdowns that cause us to make new plans and to be grateful and hopeful for when the ride is up and running again.  There is new leadership in one of my favorite organizations that has led to exciting changes, but transition details  have occupied a lot of our time.  Our church is looking at building plans next week which continues the dream we started several years ago.  There is so much to see and do in my Magic Kingdom each and every year, I just keep coming back for more!

In all honesty, the ride through my Magical Kingdom wouldn't be possible or nearly as much fun if I didn't have supportive colleagues, friends, family, and a terrific husband who join me on these roller coaster rides.  They scream with delight and hold my hand to keep me from getting scared or lost in the crowd.  And when I need a break from the Magical Kingdom, I head to the mountains.  That will happen next month.  In the meantime, it's time for me to get on the next roller coaster ride and see what is over the next hill or around the next curve.  Hope to see you along the way.  I don't want to miss a moment of this Magical Kingdom Life!

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Anticipation:  Enjoying the Moments

5/23/2015

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As my son's wedding rapidly approaches, I am reveling in the memories that flood back, the details that are being attended to, and the realization that this most anticipated event is almost here.  I can hardly wait! Enjoy the moments.  It's the little things that often turn out to be the big things.  It's the journey not the destination.  The gift is the anticipation.  We often say that the anticipation is killing us, but in reality, it's the most enjoyable part of any journey!  

We have so many things to look forward to in our lives.  Most things fill us with hope and promise of laughter, smiles, and better days.  There are certainly things that are dreaded that fill us with anticipation, but it's the joyous occasions that we hold dear in our hearts.  The anticipation of vacations, new jobs, family events, weddings, babies, and so much more, provide us with journeys we fondly remember and from which the stories of our lives emerge.

Think about how children (and adults too!) act when Christmas approaches.  The tree goes up, gifts accumulate under the tree, and the stockings hang waiting to be filled with Santa's treats.  They peek, shake packages, and giggle with delight.  When Christmas morning finally comes, they tear through packages and suddenly look around and go, "Is that all?"  It's not because they are greedy but because the anticipation has turned into reality and even though it was exciting, the reality is - there are now 354 days before it happens again.

 As a sprinter sits in the blocks at the biggest track meet of his/her life, getting ready for the run that will be over in mere seconds, he/she methodically puts every body part in the right position, breathes deeply, relaxes and waits for the gun to send him/her hurtling down the track.  They trained for this moment for days, weeks, months, maybe even years.  And just like that it's over in the blink of an eye.  So yes, the destination, the moment we've all been waiting for, is monumental, but it will be the journey - the anticipation if you will - that is remembered fondly and oh yes, almost as an asterisk, so will the results.  

Next weekend, my son and his fiance get married.  We have been looking forward to this since before they became engaged.  People moaned when they said it would be two years before the wedding occurred.  And while that seemed a long time in the future, I knew it would be over in the blink of an eye, just as the last 24 years of his life have gone by. 

Wasn't it just yesterday that my baby boy, who was due in June, waited until July to arrive so he could have a birthday in the same month as the rest of his family?   Where did the little boy go that once let Legos, Power Rangers, and Harry Potter dominate his world?  Everything he did he did well, or he didn't do it at all.  My little thinker took his time before he played sports, considered all of his options before making a decision, took only calculated risks if the reward was great enough (like agreeing to perform in solo trombone competitions and select groups so he could get that prized trigger trombone he wanted so badly), and played everything by the book.  The friends he hung out with as a 5 year old, were still his friends as a teenager, and now they will stand up with him, along with a couple of new friends he made along the way, as he marries his one true love.

My son has grown up from that neat and orderly little boy, to a neat and orderly adult.  The only real risk he's taken in his life was to give his heart to that blond, curly-haired trombone player in the K-State Marching band who turned his head and made him feel like he was over the moon.  She reeled him in (just like she did all of us) with her ready smile and caring ways.  I asked him one time what he liked about her the most and he said it was how kind she was and how she made everyone around her feel comfortable.  What a great thing to say about another person and I was proud that he valued those traits too.  No wonder he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her!

Family and friends have planned for this big event for most of these past 2 years.  I know there will be things we forgot or have to adjust at the last minute.  It will be okay.  And as my son's soon-to-be mother-in-law observed last weekend, "It doesn't really matter if every detail goes off as planned.  The important thing is that when it's done, they will be married, and I can't wait for that to happen!"   I totally agree... their marriage is the most important thing, but I can't help but breathe it all in as this leg of the journey comes to an end.  

I know I will be savoring every moment of the decorating, the rehearsal, the wedding, and the reception that follows.  I will be grateful for photos and videos that help me relive what will soon jumble in my memory.  I remember my daughter's wedding much the same way.  But as much as I wanted to be in the moment, much of it was a blur. 

I continue to look at the slide show made for the wedding and wonder where the time went.  My emotions are bubbling at the surface, ready to spill without warning.  A song, a look, or a hug may let it all pour out.  I'm okay with that.  I want to feel as much as I want to see and hear everything that goes on during this last week of preparation.  All too soon, the anticipation of this blessed event will give way to reality.  As the song notes, "This is the Moment" that I will be trying my darnedest to enjoy and savor.  And as the last song fades, the decorations fall gently to the floor, and the bride and groom steal away into the night, we will look back and smile and realize it's now time to find something new to look forward to.  In the meantime, I'll be enjoying every moment.







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Smiling From the Inside Out

5/8/2015

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Have you ever just been so happy you smiled from deep down in your soul? We smile and laugh a lot in our family, but you can always tell when that laugh or smile originates deep from within the person. You recognize it immediately when you see it. Dimples grow deeper.  Their eyes smile too, twinkling as they seem to light up.   The picture of Royals left fielder, Alex Gordon, and I shows both of us smiling.  Alex is smiling because he's a nice guy standing next to a gaga fan, old enough to be his mother. But I'm standing next to the current player I admire most and even someone who doesn't know me can tell I'm definitely smiling from the inside out!  

There is usually a story behind every smile.  Last weekend we accompanied my son and his fiance to the Kansas City Royals baseball game.  Now we've been to many Royals games over the years because we are avid fans.  The Royals went to the World Series last fall and the fan base hasn't stopped buzzing (or smiling) since.  It was a bobble head night... something my husband and my son collect... so the crowd arrived early hoping to get one of those coveted souvenirs.  We also arrived early but not to stand in line for a bobble head, but to go on the field for batting practice and have a personal meet and greet with Royals players.  You see my son won the grand prize for a Royals trivia contest on Twitter during the winter and this was his reward for being randomly selected out of the many correct answers.  And along with his fiance, he picked his parents to go with him!  Now that was something else to smile about!  I asked my son's fiance when she took the picture of Alex and me if she got me smiling and she said, "You never stopped smiling!"  Yes, that was the smile of pure joy from the inside out!

I've been doing a lot of smiling lately it seems.  As my son's wedding gets closer, I have looked through many photo possibilities for the slide show that will be shown during the wedding festivities. I can't count how many smiles those pictures generated as I remembered times gone by and how happy they are together today.  No one else saw my smiles, but I definitely felt them.  Smiling is an outward expression of joy and happiness. I know there will be many more smiles to come.... because my heart is full.

Our grandsons were at the house earlier this week for an impromptu sleep over. During a rousing game of "Go Fish," my youngest grandson (who is almost 5) smiled and giggled with delight as he would take a card from me or his older brother, especially after realizing we had just asked for that card but obviously didn't ask him.   He was proud of himself (and at the moment was winning too)!  His broad smile resonated from the success he felt of being an independent player in this game.  Sometimes our joy is a reflection of the satisfaction of a job well-done.

Smiling is the preferred facial expression and generally makes us look our best.  My mother used to advise us "that it took 7 times as many muscles to frown as to smile."  I'm pretty sure the math is not accurate in that old saying, but we got the message!  (Here's an interesting link on that subject.)  While we may naturally assume that smiling indicates happiness and joy, there are often other underlying reasons and thoughts behind a smile. It takes the rest of the face, including the eyes, and the body language we convey to really see what that smile is expressing.

I know I often smile or giggle when I am nervous.  We smile for pictures and sometimes those smiles betray our discomfort. We call them "forced or fake" smiles.  Smiles can mask our apprehension or nervousness too.  Even those who are feeling down often smile in an attempt to cover up their true feelings.  These smiles differ from the joyful ones that come from within, but they still reveal a great deal about what we are thinking and feeling.  

But mostly smiles are positive experiences.  What might be the effect of our smile?  Smiling makes others feel at ease.  It can be our first line of communication; a way to break the ice.  A smile costs us nothing and is an easy gift we can give to others no matter whether they are friend or stranger.  The benefits of a smile linger long after it is given and received.  Even our electronic communication has smiley faces and other ways to communicate our feelings since we are not directly looking at each other.  Words are often not enough.  We need to "see" or "hear" what others are really saying to get the true picture. When it comes down to it, it is our choice on how we present ourselves to the world we live in.  Mother Teresa shares this advice:


                                      Let us always meet each other with a smile, 

                                          for the smile is the beginning of love.

A smile is a beginning, not just a response.  It connects us and offers the other acceptance, hope, promise, and maybe even love.  The first glimpse of a newborn results in the smile of love from adoring parents.  Our joy, stored safely in our heart, escapes through our smile and is warmed by the smile or hug that follows between friends or family.   There are times we just don't feel like smiling because of pain, humiliation, or anger, but when we pause to find something to smile about, it is the beginning of moving past that issue or emotional distress. 

Sometimes smiles and tears occur at the same time.  All week we have been appreciating teachers and nurses with social media posts,  cards, gifts, and other things that we hope will make them smile.  When we show others how much we value them and care, we touch their heart, just as they have touched ours.  Mother's Day is Sunday.  65 million cards are given to mothers to show our love and appreciation.  That will generate a lot of smiles and a few tears too.  Acts of kindness and appreciation touch us in ways that we can't help but smile, even amidst the tears that may also follow.  I expect that same thing to happen later this month as I watch my son marry his one true love.  Smiles and tears overflowing from the inside out.

So I challenge you to find something to smile about every day and to offer your smile freely to others.  Let your smile be the sunshine for yourself and others! See how choosing to smile changes you.  Find your joy.  Find your passion. Smile as often as you can from the inside out.



 


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Where Did the Time Go? 

4/22/2015

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I'm feeling a lot of things these days.... joyful, grateful, sentimental, and overwhelmed at times too.  So this will probably not be the last of my blogs that have their origins in wedding plans.   My son gets married in 5 short weeks.  Where did the time go?  There are last minute details that are being taken care of  (yes, I know my list is a lot shorter than the bride's list), and some that didn't have to be last minute, but suddenly are. Wasn't it just a couple of days ago that my son proposed and they decided it would be 2 years before they would be married?  Guess what?  That time is here.  Again I ask, Where did the time go?

Pictures are a special part of our family's lives.  Every big event gets to have its "story told."  I have compiled many photo albums over the years and in the last few years have turned to digital photo books to capture the story of our lives.  Major vacations, anniversaries, milestone birthdays, graduations, and now the wedding.... all get a photographic keepsake.  We use them as reference books to pinpoint when something occurred or to clear up hazy memories.  In essence, those many volumes are family history books.  We are fortunate that our daughter has taken photography to the professional level and we can enjoy the fruits of her photographic talents.  My camera, and now my phone, have always been handy for a quick picture of what we're doing or even for a selfie now and then!   We have taken many family pictures when I set up my camera on some semi-stable object, clicked the right buttons and then ran to get positioned in the shot before the shutter clicked.  I am glad that as I get older, and my running has slowed down, the ability to turn the camera view around and take a selfie has eliminated the need to run during photos (although I still have to get my head positioned correctly - dang bifocals!).  

Some would say I'm a little obsessive.  All the double prints we made over the years are organized in boxes and labeled by individual person or family group.  It makes it handy when we need some pictures for an event.  When a tornado warning has been issued for our area, I think about the people course of action first, then how I can grab my computer, phone, and purse, but I also think about how I'm going to save a few of those precious pictures.  That is one of the blessings of digital photography and the technology that allows us to save it in a cloud (ironic that we use digital clouds for storage but real clouds form tornadoes!).  That is comforting to obsessed people like me.

Why am I focusing on photographs as a topic for my blog post?  Last weekend, my son and I spent a rainy day going through countless pictures for the 2 projects we were working on for the wedding.  As I put the picture show together, my heart filled with love, pride, and a little wistfulness with each passing photo.  I have wondered many times, aloud and to myself, where the time has gone.  The pictures reminded me of everyday memories I had forgotten, and awakened feelings I had been too busy to allow to come to the surface.  I smiled at their smiles, chuckled at parental hair styles and color, and wondered why I thought I was fat all those years ago!  (Sorry I digress! )  He took snap-chats to send to his fiance of pictures he found that were funny or cute, but they would not use.  She was supposed to be in weekend class, so this was probably a welcome distraction for her....or not! 


The pictures we selected took us on a walk through their lives, leading up to the time they met as fellow trombone players in the K-State Marching Band, and the subsequent courtship, as Paul Harvey would say, "the rest of the story." Their first picture together portrayed tentative smiles, almost forced.  Yet just a few short weeks later, those smiles reflected true happiness and the love that was growing between them.   I have seen pictures of his fiance's early life and I want to ask questions and have her tell me the stories behind those smiles and poses.  A picture comes alive when it is connected to a story.  And we deepen our connection with others with the stories we share.

I don't know how differently we would look at life if someone hadn't developed the capability to take pictures and preserve memories of loved ones, special places and events. Without these visual cues, many things would fade from our memory.   While many people have boxes with pictures thrown in them, I have been a little OCD about taking pictures, putting them in scrapbooks and now digitally storing them.  I am grateful for times like this which afford me the opportunity to spend hours simply remembering.


Photos spark interest and connect us to others.  At weddings we use pictures to bring people together, to learn more about the other family, and create new bonds.  At funerals we use pictures to comfort each other with memories of a life well-lived.  Photos can make us feel like we were there.  I have always loved looking at pictures of places I wanted to visit.  I called them my vicarious vacation photos!  As a teacher, photos help students "see" what you want them to learn, or create interest or appeal.  Textbooks and cookbooks are so much easier for us to learn from when there are pictures.  As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. 

These moments, captured by film, or digitally as we do today, are treasures. As the credit card commercial reminds us, they may even be "priceless."  Stories associated with those cherished pictures make them all the more real and strengthen the bond between the story teller and the listener.  On Sunday we honored and remembered all the musicians in our church, past and present.  Included in this celebration were pictures, and stories of those who have provided us with music each week by playing the piano, organ, or some other musical instrument.  We told stories; we sang their favorite songs; we laughed and remembered days gone by.  But then we dedicated our new electric piano that can do so many things because of the technology that makes up for the talent we lack.  With the push of a button our music can sound like an orchestra instead of a single musician.  And such is our life.  


While the photos we enjoy bring back many memories of wonderful times spent with family and friends, we can hold them close; we can remember, but we can't live in the past or the way it used to be.  It is important to remember, honor, learn from, and take the time to make those connections to our past, but equally important to recognize that life is to be lived forward.  By doing that we will make new memories and the cycle will continue.

So while I finish up on the picture show that will debut at the rehearsal dinner, I will also be thinking about the pictures I'll be looking at in 10 years or 20 years from now.  Who will be new to our family photos?  Who will be missing?  Where will we have traveled?  What goals will have been achieved?  What lessons will have been learned?  Once again I'll look back and think, "Where has the time gone?"

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I Hope the Kids Win

4/3/2015

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There is a lot of turmoil these days in the sleepy bedroom community that I call home.  There's nothing like the school to get people excited at times and upset at other times.  I am passionate about our school.  I have many fond memories as a student, teacher, coach, parent, and now grandparent.  But we can't live in the past and moving forward often causes discomfort even when its best for kids.

In a small town, the school is the centerpiece of the community.  It is the biggest employer.  It takes care of our children.  It hosts many events that bring people together within the community and from outside the community.  It provides us with many opportunities in which we can be proud.  It also is a target for those who like to complain and a scapegoat for some to blame.  Right now our school (and community) are not only getting ready for Easter weekend celebrations, but we are also cheering on the students who are participating at the State competition in Science Olympiad.  But storm clouds loom over us too as we are also preparing for a big vote on Tuesday....a bond issue, not to build a new building, but to repair and remodel existing facilities to make them safer and more efficient.  There are 2 distinct positions and both are anchored by passionate people who believe they are right.  In the end I hope the kids win.

I tried to go to sleep tonight but my mind needed to think, and ultimately write.  A very large ad, paid for by the opposition to the bond issue, was published in this week's local newspaper, encouraging my hometown folks to vote an emphatic "NO!" on the bond issue. I read it.  Several times.  The author of the ad asked some legitimate questions and made some unnecessary complaints that detracted from their message.  While I respect their right to hold an opposing view, I feel like supporters need to speak up too.   There is no time for a letter to the editor to rebut the ad because the vote is in a few days.  So my sleeplessness has turned me to activism in the only way I know how, by publishing a new post on my blog which will be shared on social media.  Even if just a few read it, perhaps it will help us emerge from this turmoil with solutions instead of creating bigger problems so that in the end, the kids will win.


Any time a change is about to occur, the solution sought by some may feel like a problem to others.  It is important that leaders and stakeholders recognize and honor different perceptions, and make every effort to answer the "why" questions that people have if the desired change is to be realized.  Many of the questions raised in the political ad were indeed "why" questions.

I have lived in this community for nearly my entire life.  I taught here 28 years too.  Probably the most significant thing that could be improved (and doesn't cost anything!) is communication between the school and the patrons.  I can tell you that the community elects school board members to make decisions for them, but in all honesty, we (as a school) could do better at being transparent in the thought processes behind significant decisions that are made.  That said, over the years, when the school holds informational meetings, they are often poorly attended regardless of the topic, and those in attendance often have a direct tie to the school through employment or as board members.  We can all do better at communicating (which includes listening) and if we do, kids will win.

I was understanding of the questions that were raised in the ad in terms of ensuring that appropriate bids (or at least estimates) were gathered and all options thoroughly considered ahead of the decisions that were made.  But the biggest complaint seems to be about raising taxes because of the fiscally conservative views held by this group.  I sincerely believe the School Board considered their options and made the best decision they could.  Many times we have cut instead of raising taxes.  Sometimes more "cutting" doesn't "cut it."  The school's hands are currently tied as the Kansas Legislature holds them hostage with extraordinary cuts and budget shenanigans.  Timing is critical because with the new block grant bill that was just passed, the opportunity to get matching state funds ends as of July 1.  If we don't pass the bond issue, then another try in the future will cost us even more money since the state funding option will be gone.  As I noted earlier, what some view as a solution, others view as a problem.

Let's look at some history.  When the track was built in for use in the 1987-88 school year, it was the show piece of Northeast Kansas. Regular maintenance to keep it that way was was part of the deal.  As I was concluding my tenure as Athletic Director in 1998, the track was scheduled to be resurfaced as part of that maintenance plan. It did not happen. Up until then, all the recommendations had been followed.  From that point on, the track has had only minimal repairs to cracks and some occasional paint (I was coaching track during this time so I experienced it's decline.)  The surface is no longer quality, in fact it has some parts that are dangerous.  Area schools are putting in new tracks that have 7 or 8 lanes so they can be used to host Regional Competition, but our proposal was to only repair what we have now (6 lanes).  It is a safety issue as well as a responsibility of the school and its patrons to take care of what we own and maintain a quality facility for our students' use.  If that happens, then the kids will win.

The roof falls into the same category as the track.  At some point, all the repairs that can be done are done and replacement is necessary.  I hope we won't wait until the roof is lifting up when the wind blows like the purple gym roof did while I was trying to teach in there before we replace it!  I can speak from personal experience on our own barn that if you don't regularly maintain it, then it will have to be replaced.  As the old car service commercial used to say, "Pay me now, or pay me later."  It is now later.  All I really want to see is that the kids win.

The kitchen and lunchroom space has been an issue for many years.  In fact the original plan when the second gym was built was to place it next to the purple gym and include a commons area to use for serving lunch.  But that didn't happen.  The gym was placed in a different location and the kitchen and lunchroom problems continued (and worsened).  (Note:  The ad says they didn't have a 2nd gym in 1990, but it was in the works then.)  Imagine the timing and length of athletic practices and physical education classes now if there weren't 2 gyms?  Just because we didn't have it (other things apply here too) when you were in school doesn't mean it wasn't or isn't needed.  The fine arts addition was put on to accommodate the increasing number of students participating in those programs and to deal with the acoustical issues that were causing hearing loss for staff members who were in the too small facilities they replaced.  Back to the kitchen, the issues with the drain continued to mount and caused the school to use paper plates since before I left and that was over 5 years ago!  That is not a good environmental practice and limits what the cooks can serve.  It seems to me that if it was easily fixable during the summer, it would have already been done. 

Keeping our kids safe in severe weather is another concern and why a safe space is being considered.  The time it takes to get students to the basement is too long and not all students fit there anyway (and never have).  It is not handicapped accessible without going outside.  The ad mentions the inclusion of an elevator or lift.  Those aren't cheap and they don't work when the power is out. 

Taxes are not anyone's favorite thing to pay.  But the investment in our children's education (and the facilities are part of that experience) is the hope and promise for our future.  We want people to buy houses and come to live in our community.  To do that we have to offer them a reason to come and quality educational experiences are one of the biggest factors.  When people come, businesses thrive, as well as the school, which makes the community thrive.  The city itself has put a lot on its citizens with a high tax rates and utility costs that are stressful to limited budgets.  Perhaps that is a place to start when talking about how to minimize the tax burden.  Unfortunately we aren't Johnson County where a sales tax generates a lot of money for schools and can be supported by all those who are consumers not just property owners.  Everything costs money, even that very expensive large ad taken out by the "NO" group.  It's all about priorities.  My priority is with the kids.  When the kids win we all win.  They will always have my vote.

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Why We Need the Productive Struggle

3/12/2015

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It is spring.  Finally.  But spring and all its beauty is more than just relief from winter, it is the experience and result of the productive struggle.  New plants emerge from once frozen soil.  Buds on trees hide leaves that are nipped by late cold snaps.  But when they overcome winter's last gasp, oh what joy we take from their beautiful color that paints our landscape and shades us from summer's sun!  We are blessed to be witness to and benefit from nature's productive struggle.  

Who doesn't have struggles?  If life were carefree we might become complacent, taking the satisfaction of success for granted.   We feel energized by the sunshine after days of clouds and storms or winter's prolonged darkness.  It is no different than the feeling one gets after sweating through a workut, planting a garden, or finishing the 35 page final project for a class.  These productive struggles are projects or tasks that require effort and hard work, may leave us physically or emotionally exhausted, but in the end, the feeling of fulfillment and accomplishment are the rewards of a job well done. 


Before the conveniences that technology and modernized utilities and transportation afford us, productive struggles were an everyday occurrence and usually required a great deal of time and physical effort.  If you didn't work through productive struggles then you didn't go anywhere, didn't eat, and basically didn't do much of anything. We laugh about the stories that our grandparents tell about walking miles to school in the snow, but in reality, they did just that.  The challenges we face today are just as important to us, but far different in some ways than the trials that faced our parents and grandparents.  Back in the day, life was hard.  Many of the struggles involved physical labor. People had to figure out what resources were available to help them do the job in question because the technology didn't exist to make it as easy as it is today.   Children were taught to be resilient and hard workers because adults modeled those same skills.  Today our inventions have made us soft. Hard work is no longer a necessity but a choice. How do we teach children these skills today when much of the difficult work we are asking them to do involves brain power instead of physical prowess?

Learning has changed too.  The strategies used to today to do research for a project at school or work are far different than the strategies we used even 20 years ago because of the advancement of the Internet.  Research once required digging through books or periodicals.  When I was in high school, an old set of the Book of Knowledge at our house provided much of my "research."  In college, the library was full of resources, but you either took handwritten notes or made copies (yes we had copy machines then!).  But today's research is almost instantaneous compared to those archaic methods. With just a few keystrokes, and in a short couple of seconds, multiple sources are available for us to peruse and if it's not what we want, we simply modify our search description.  As the speed of the internet and the devices we use increases, our tolerance for time consuming or difficult tasks grows weaker.  We expect instant answers.  When the Internet is slow, we don't like having to wait.  We ask Siri.  We "Google" it.  Some who can't figure it out simply walk away to the next thing. 

So how do we teach our kids that productive struggles are a valuable part of learning?

The first step by parents and teachers alike is to simply let the child struggle.  We must resist the temptation to swoop in and "fix" the problem or do it for them.  Some of the best lessons in life are learned as a result of failed attempts.  If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.  We have a tendency as parents and teachers to reduce the challenge of the task to increase the likelihood that they will succeed sooner rather than later.  Faster doesn't necessarily mean smarter.  We recognize that fluency (speed and accuracy) improves with practice, but not all problems were meant to be solved in a timed test.

Ensure students have access to the resources, knowledge and skills they need to be successful in solving the problem.  Providing access is far different than telling them exactly how to use each component.  Part of the learning experience is figuring out what to use and what not to use when solving the problem at hand.  The adults have to learn to let go, so students can learn.

Encourage the experience of complexity.  Problems that are challenging are complex in nature because they have layers or parts that require us to think in different ways.  By increasing the challenge, we increase the motivation and the level of engagement.  Challenges must be reasonable but slightly out of reach. If it's too easy, it's not a challenge.  By stretching ourselves, the satisfaction of success becomes that much sweeter.   None of this means we step back and let them flounder or become excessively frustrated, but instead requires us to become facilitators, guiding students with questions rather than statements, and letting them uncover their own understanding.  Most of all, we must hold ourselves back from jumping in when they make mistakes and allow them the pleasure of productive struggles. 

Reward effort and progress.  Sometimes the process or the journey is just as valuable as reaching the destination.  Decisions must be made; choices analyzed; solutions tried; and evaluations made.  When we reflect on the process - thinking about how we got to this point, what went well, and what we could have done differently - we learn important lessons that can transfer to the next problem that we face.  We have suddenly experienced why productive struggles are worth the effort!

One of my favorite quotes is attributed to Thomas Edison:  Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

Like the iceberg picture below, much goes into the process of success and yet there is so little we actually see.  Look closely below the surface and you will find many of the traits and behaviors previously mentioned - and yes even struggles.  Thomas Edison had plenty of success as an inventor - the part of the ice berg we can actually see - but those successes only occurred after he worked through many productive struggles - the part below the surface, unseen by most, but a valuable foundation that helps achieve the visible success.  Just like the beauty of the spring flowers that emerge from winter's last gasp, productive struggles often provide us with some of our best experiences!  Never, never, never give up!

                                                               ********************

Want to know more?  
Cathy Seely:  Constructive Struggling: The Value of Challenging Our Students, 2009
Gretchen Vierstra, Teaching Channel: Learning From Students' Productive Struggles, January, 2015

                                                                ********************

When you have a great and difficult task, something perhaps almost impossible, if you only work a little at a time, everyday a little, suddenly the work will finish itself.  
                                                                                                         Isak Dinesen

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    Vicki Bechard, 
    Owner and Lead Consultant

    I express myself best when I write, even though most who know me think I talk quite a bit!  

    I'm an educator first and foremost whether my students are kids, teachers, or my own children and grandchildren.  

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