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Vicki's Blog

My thoughts on education, improvement, and life itself.  Enjoy!

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Looking Forward

12/27/2016

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"Many of the conversations I have about the future are focused on the past.  People say they want to talk about their future, but they are fighting with their past." ​
                                                                            - Dan Rockwell, Leadership Freak
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I read the above quote this morning and suddenly the writer's block that has been dogging me for the past several months, went from fog to peaks of sunshine.  A breath of fresh air came my way and I could think about writing again.  And just like that, the past was no longer holding me back.

I'll be honest with you.  2016 has been a year of ups and downs that have both inspired me and challenged all that I believe to be true.  I am dismayed by the way public education and educators are viewed by politicians and wealthy business people, but heartened at the state election results that give us hope again in Kansas.  I won't even talk about national and world events and politics which leave me bewildered and shaking my head about the way we talk to and treat each other.  It would be easy to keep bringing up the past and dwelling on what might have been or the way it used to be, but there are things we can't change unless we look forward and change our own way of thinking and behaving.  I used to remind my players that we can only control what we can control... and that starts with my own beliefs and actions, one day at a time.

I was thrilled with the successes our professional learning organization in Kansas (LFKS) has experienced this year, and that I have been an active part of these giant steps forward. We spent a lot of time wringing our hands and wondering what had happened to our organization before we made some tough decisions, and started down the road with some new ideas and practices.  And with hard work, they are beginning to pay off.  Leadership Freak blogger Dan Rockwell points out that "hanging onto the past produces doubt and fear" and keeps us from moving forward, changing for the better, and/or forgiving ourselves for past transgressions.  The past has it's place in our lives as well as our future. It provides us with experience, lessons of what to do and what not to do, knowledge and skills.  But it is not to be lived in, nor used as an excuse for present behavior or situations.  We do have to reconcile our past - honoring the valuable, and putting to rest the pain of mistakes and lost opportunities.  But the past is in the rear view mirror for a reason.  It is from whence we came; a place to visit not to dwell.  

While Rockwell's blog is focusing on leadership and team building, one of the questons for consideration that he makes is:  "How does the way you are thinking about yourself and others reflect the future you aspire to build?"  Our thinking matters.... about our own strengths and limitations, as well as those who we work with and spend our time with each day.  Surrounding oneself with people who support us, believe in us, provide meaningful feedback, as well as make us laugh and enjoy life, will improve our outlook and make the future more appealing than the past.  As Hans F. Hansen notes, "People inspire you or they drain you."  That statement leads to one resolution to make and keep every year - put as much distance as you can between those who hold you back or tear you down, and surround yourself with those who challenge and inspire you.

In my work with educators and even within our church, I often emphasize that there's a big difference between knowing and doing.  We often know better.  We just often don't DO better.  I taught PE for many years, and yet have failed miserably this fall in staying with my exercise plan.  You realize that when you're excited that the "active minutes" your Fitbit recorded while shopping at Walmart was the best you've done all week.  Along with that lack of self-discipline, I found myself doing more mindless activities that are fun but a waste of time, which led me to complain that I was behind, and wishing I had more time to get things done.  My calendar is definitely full with responsibilities to both my family and the organizations with whom I am involved, but is there no time to take care of my health and physical well being?  I'm pretty sure the games I play on my phone won't suffer if I take 30 minutes from that activity and get back on the treadmill. So what actions will I take that will inspire me to move forward? I can think of a big one for me:  Accountability.  I don't necessarily like to be coached, but I do like looking at data.  If I schedule it, and then record it, I will have lots of internal motivation to not let those data points go unfilled.  And voila!  I will see progress.   I see lots of people trying new programs, supplements, and other things to improve their lives, or some, like me, just wanting to walk everyday - so I say: Go For It!  Pick what works for you and stick to it.  It's the lifestyle change that makes the biggest difference, not the shakes or pills that you take.  It's a mindset where you choose to take action and think positively, whether prompted by a program you believe in, or the way you look at yourself.  The biggest detractor from action is how much we talk about action.  So my advice to myself is to stop talking (or writing at this moment) and start DOING!

Again, in my work with educators and within our church, I also facilitate how to effectively create and mangage change so that the goals are successfully implemented.  I can definitely say that practicing what I'm preaching would be a great step forward for me at this time.  I borrow Simon Sinek's work around beginning with the "WHY" before any change is implemented.  Why is it important?  Why would I want to do this?  Then moving to What will I accomplish if I implement this change? What benefit will occur with this change?  And finally, How will I turn these goals into actions?  When I find my why, I find my passion, and the transition from knowing to doing becomes more urgent and fulfilling.  

This is not a blog about New Year's resolutions, but about getting focused on what matters while letting go of past bad habits and moving from knowing to doing.  Don't you worry, I'll take plenty of time to enjoy my free time, write more often, and read those books that were on my list to Santa.  But I'm doing one more thing for me.   While I'm still taking care of and being there for others, I'm going to take care of myself too.  And that tug of war with past bad habits and the things I'd like to achieve will go down as a win for me if I stop talking and start doing.  So I'm off to the treadmill to take the road less traveled.  You gotta start somewhere! 

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 Kinda, Sorta: How's That Working for You?

9/13/2014

3 Comments

 
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Did you clean your room?  "Kinda, sorta..."
Do you work out during the off season?  "Kinda, sorta..."
Did you study for the test? "Kinda, sorta..."


These are responses that I have received from my "kids" over the years (both my own children and my students).  In all honesty, it's an answer I have given too, probably more than likely to my doctor or dentist in response to whether I'd regularly exercised, watched my diet, elevated and iced that sprained ankle, done regular breast exams, or flossed my teeth. 

Kinda, Sorta Translated.  What does that really mean?  When my kids told me that, I knew they had done less than expected.  Maybe they started but didn't finish.  Maybe they gave it a lick and a promise.  Maybe they did it once in a while.  Kinda, sorta may have seemed like a better answer than "Yes I did" when you knew you didn't do what was expected; or "No I did not" which failed to reflect that you did something, even if it wasn't exactly right.  We use it as a way to soften or justify the reality. When I told my doctor that, I was attempting to avoid what he/she already knew.  I was more talk than action.  Kinda, sorta.  Not really.

Kinda, Sorta Understanding.   Sometimes kinda, sorta really does express the level to which we understand or "get it."  If a student kinda, sorta understands the lesson, it means they have some knowledge or skill, but not enough for clarity or to effectively apply the learning to other situations.  People often stop at our house to ask for directions.  I give them the directions they want, all the while knowing that I have something to connect to - a mental map if you will - and they are just listening, trying to keep it in order.  I'm pretty sure when they leave, kinda, sorta is all they really understand and the result may be that they are still lost. So to answer the question, "Do you understand?"  the correct response might truly be, "Not really."  That is our cue to help clarify or reteach the content so that it becomes clear, and meaningful connections are made, so that the knowledge and skills can be used.  Then kinda, sorta becomes "I get it"  and the lost is now found!

Kinda, Sorta Efforts.   Too often, kinda, sorta is more of a reflection of the time or effort we put into a task.  I used to tell my basketball players that we had to "walk our talk."  It didn't do us much good to talk about what we were capable of accomplishing if we didn't act in ways to prepare us for that journey.   We lose focus or become complacent and then kinda, sorta stop attending to details, or making what should be a regular behavior, irregular.  We stop doing our best and settling for something less.  We procrastinate and make excuses. Success that ends with a quality product involves purposeful intent, hard work, and consistent effort.  Kinda, sorta  just isn't the same thing.  Not really.  Not ever.

Educators expect students to do their best on assignments or tests, and actively participate in class activities/discussions.  They are typically not thrilled with kinda, sorta efforts.  Not ever.  Yet teachers can fall into the kinda, sorta trap too.  When new instructional strategies are presented, teachers are asked if they have implemented them.  When their response is "kinda, sorta," you'd be correct to assume that means they tried it once and haven't given it another thought.  So when their students are not showing the intended benefits of that new strategy, one only has to look inward to realize our kinda, sorta implementation probably netted those kinda, sorta results.

Kinda, Sorta Results.  The results we get from "kinda, sorta" are not really what we want and certainly not what was expected.  What if your surgeon kinda, sorta took out your appendix or put in that stint?  Or what if your hairdresser kinda, sorta cut your hair?  Would we be happy with those results?  Of course not.  We want to look good, feel healthy, achieve all of our goals, and be successful!  But if we are honest,  most of us would admit that we would like to get the best results with the least amount of effort.  If we try, isn't that better than not doing it all?  Kinda, sorta.  Not really. 

Would you be happy with your child's teacher if they just kinda, sorta taught the lesson and then sent the child home for you to help them with their homework?  Of course not!  This works both ways too.  It is important that parents facilitate the child's completion of the task instead of kinda, sorta doing it just to say they got it done.  We have to teach our children at home and at school from an early age that kinda, sorta just isn't going to cut it in real life.  Not ever.

Kinda, Sorta Lifestyle. Unfortunately, kinda, sorta can become a way of life if we're not careful.  There is less pressure on ourselves if we choose to be good but not great, or act in ways to just "get by."  The farther away we get from doing it right, the harder it is to get going again.  I use these blogs to hold myself accountable sometimes.  This one is no exception.  My exercise program has been less than regular over the summer.  I was busy with hosting workshops and then went on vacation.  Oh yes, there's that new bad habit I have of drinking coffee first thing in the morning and playing on my phone while I watch the Today Show.  That would be OK if 30 minutes didn't quickly turn into 2 hours.   So my one time religious habit of 30 minutes on the treadmill every morning as soon as I got up has turned into a "sometimes" event.  So when I fill out the paper work at the doctor's office and they ask me if I exercise regularly, lately I'd have to say "kinda, sorta."   How's that working for me?  Not good.  Not really.  And honestly, not ever.  

Eliminating Kinda, Sorta.   To get that kinda, sorta mindset out of my lifestyle, I must decide that what I want and what I'm getting just isn't in agreement and that only I can do something about that.  My keys to making this change: Focus; Motivation; and Action.  So this week, I have been better.  Not totally focused, but moving in that direction.  My once a week exercise became 4 days this week.  Progress.  Kinda, sorta is turning into most of the time.  Will I be perfect in this endeavor?  Of course not.  But I'll be a lot farther away from kinda, sorta than I was a month ago if I just keep making movement a priority.  

What kinda, sorta thought process or activity do you need to eliminate from your life?  How's that working for you now?  Get the results you want by getting focused, deciding a course of action, and making it happen.  Don't let that kinda, sorta response slip back in.  Not now.  Not ever.







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Back To School:  Part 2 - How Robin Williams Can Make Us Better

8/12/2014

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"No matter what anyone tells you, words and ideas can change the world"...."That powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse.   What will your verse be?"....  "Carpe Diem!  Seize the day - make your lives extraordinary."  Robin Williams as John Keating in Dead Poet's Society, 1989

This week, world has lost an incredible talent.  Robin Williams could entertain us and make us laugh uncontrollably just as easily as he could inspire and bring us to tears.  Today we mourn the passing of an icon, not taken by illness or accident, but by his own design.  He wrote the ending for a script that we were not prepared for.  Like everyone else, I stopped when I heard the news, wondering if I'd heard correctly, and immediately started thinking about the many ways that he had entertained me, and yet wondered about the incredible inner struggle he must have had going on inside.

The blog I was working on just wasn't coming together and I hoped my walk this morning would bring the words that had been out of my reach.  But instead, my thoughts kept coming back to Robin Williams - the characters he played and the life he probably led - and how all of those things could provide us with so many powerful lessons as teachers, parents, and just people.  And so I have given in to those thoughts... and I hope you choose to read on.

Inspiration.  The quotes I used to start this blog are from one of my favorite movies, Dead Poet's Society.  I was inspired by Williams' character, English teacher John Keating, who defied the standard, dry, uninspiring, instructional delivery system as he worked to help students create meaningful connections to the literature they read and created.  I have always wanted to stand on a desk and get kids' attention, without falling off and creating a scene!  He challenged their thinking and encouraged them to take risks, think beyond the boundaries to make a difference, take charge of their own lives and become extraordinary.  What more could teachers or parents aspire to do with and for our children?  What more could we want our children to achieve?

Doing.  Mrs. Doubtfire, another fabulously entertaining movie, provided us with gales of laughter, but more importantly a message of love and how we must take a stand, and stop talking about what we believe to be true, but take action instead.  There was never a doubt that Williams' beloved character Daniel Hillard, turned housekeeper and nanny Mrs. Doubtfire, loved his children.  But it took the loss of those children during his divorce to make him act on that love, doing what was required to see them and nurture them, no matter how outlandish the ploy seemed.  What will we DO for others?  What are we willing to sacrifice for those we love?  We know parents will go to great lengths to protect their children in emergencies, and we have also seen many examples of teachers who shielded their students from the wrath of a tornado or gun-toting shooter.  But what about the everyday advocacy that we all must do for our children to help them develop into learned, worthwhile citizens?  Who will DO what is needed to make them feel loved, valued, and that who they are and what they do matter?

Beyond the Surface.  Robin Williams made us laugh, but struggled with his own inner demons.  Did laughter, or making others laugh, provide him relief for his own bouts of depression?  Or did these attempts just mask the real problems?  I have listened to and read many things about Robin Williams as tributes are paid to him and the pundits attempt to explain why this happened.  My take on this is that we often show the world the side we know they want to see and mask our true needs or pain.  We cope.  We find ways to help ourselves feel normal or numb.  We laugh when we are stressed or feel like crying.  We act like we don't care when we really do care - a lot!  Sometimes we medicate or drink or find some other artificial means to take away the pain, and then medicate some more so we can feel again.  And sometimes we just say, enough is enough.

We must look around as educators, at the students and colleagues with whom we teach and work everyday.  Do we take the time to know them well enough to see how they mask what is below the surface?  Do we assume their outward facade is the real them?  I love the quote that floats around on Facebook from time to time because it reminds me of myself.

             "I'm a strong person, but every now and then I would like someone 
                 to take my hand and tell me everything is going to be alright."  

Those of us on whom many depend also have vulnerabilities but we often mask that need and brush off attempts to help us out.  I had a principal once, who in his typical unprofessional way, was berating me for some imagined thing I had done or wasn't doing, and I started to cry.  He then railed at me even more and asked why I was crying because I was always so tough nothing ever bothered me!  I had covered my own insecurities quite well and his assumptions cracked that facade.  What caused that final crack for Robin Williams'?  We will probably never know.  We would all like to believe it wasn't because he wasn't loved by his family and adoring fans but maybe it was because of the pressure that adoration caused.  It would be an assumption on my part to think that maybe he didn't love himself as much as we did, but then again, mental illness makes us believe things that just aren't true or clouds our judgment of reality.  

Today and Beyond.  We must be willing to take the lessons of Robin Williams the man and learn from those as much as we learned from the characters he played.  Life is not without struggle and hardship as we wrestle with our strengths and weaknesses, loves and losses, successes and disappointments, in order to find balance.  What verse will you write today?  How will you make a difference or change the world in some small way?  Seize the Day and seek to live an extraordinary life!

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Back to School Part 1: Don't Take Anything for Granted

7/31/2014

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At the recent Big 12 Football Media day, K-State's renowned and beloved coach, Bill Snyder, was cautiously optimistic about the upcoming season. For Snyder, this is a rare admission.  But it was quickly countered with a recurring message, "don't take anything for granted." He specifically referred to talent, the opponent, summer workouts, performance levels, and living on past success.  Not only is that good advice for his football team and the frenzy of purple-bleeding fans, but for each of us individually too.  We get too comfortable, too used to winning, and then boom - a North Dakota State team walks on the field and steals a victory, or the person you always counted on leaves (or worse) and you didn't get a chance to tell them how much you appreciated them, and now you are left with a lot of what ifs.

School starts in a few short weeks.  Teachers report sooner than that and Administrators are probably back at work this week.  Stores are loaded with school supplies and kids and parents are eagerly waiting to see how this new year will go.  Snyder's advice to his team "to not take anything for granted" about the upcoming season also applies to educators, students, and parents about the upcoming school year, and really, to all of us about life in general.  We take for granted here in the Kansas that everyone has an opportunity to go to school, that most people can afford school supplies, and that there will be enough quality teachers to staff every classroom.  But recent lessons from the political front have demonstrated to us that if we sit on the sideline, those things we take for granted may just be taken.

Teachers and coaches should not take for granted that what worked (or didn't work) last year will have the same results this year.  In a couple of weeks, a whole new group of students walks through the door or steps on the field.  Sure the faces may be familiar, but life has happened to these students since you last saw them, and those experiences will shape their attitudes, their hopes and dreams, and how they respond to the task of learning.  Bodies change.  Maturity happens (or doesn't) and those same students we last saw in May, have a new set of variables for us to deal with.  We should take the time to listen to what students have to say and what they are not saying.  We should get to know them as people first and students second.  We will need to see them for what they can do this time around and not assume that they will act and perform in the same way we remember.  Most of all, we should challenge them to dig deeper, to ask more questions, and to persevere when learning is hard or obstacles block their path.  We cannot assume or take for granted that they will know how to do any of these things well without our guidance or support.

I had a very good basketball team one season, more than a few years ago, that achieved state rankings and notoriety (levels of team success that our school was unaccustomed to at the time).  The following year, we returned the majority of our varsity players, so expectations were high.  But by the mid-season tournament, we were just a .500 team.  I blamed myself as much as anything because I had allowed them to rest on their laurels because I, as everyone else did, assumed we would just pick up where we left off.  We took winning for granted because we had been successful the year before because we had many of the same players.  But during that tournament we had a meeting of the minds and emerged with a new resolve to no longer take for granted that the success of the past would automatically propel us to success in the future.  We redoubled our efforts in practice, revised some strategies, and changed our attitude from one of entitlement, to one of humility and renewed our sense of purpose.  And that effort, that change in our thinking, produced the results we had expected all along.  But it didn't happen until we stopped taking things for granted and started doing the things we needed to do to  achieve the goals we had set forth.  That is the message Coach Snyder was trying to convey.

Appreciating what we have, the people who are dear to us in our lives, or the people that provide us with needed services is something we should be cognizant of every day.  But many times we fall short.  Taking something or someone for granted happens because we get comfortable.  We get accustomed to "the way things are" or we fail to see what is right before our eyes.  I think of how excited I am to see the sun after several days of rain, and how I miss the rain after weeks of hot dry weather. We do this with people too.  We go about our daily lives and fail to show or tell the people around us how much we appreciate them, need them, and love them.  We assume.  We get busy and distracted.  And we take them for granted.   

So how will we change?  It usually takes a "North Dakota State" moment, or a loss of someone close to us before we wake up and realize what we knew all along.  So purposeful planning, a resolve to not overlook the details, and the commitment to do the work and effort required, is step one.  Step two is to have an attitude of gratitude.  Notice what is all around you:  what you have, nature's gifts to us, and who is important in your life.  And Step three is simply reflected in Nike's slogan - "Just Do It!"  Getting beyond taking things or people for granted requires action on our part.  We can't "hope" it will happen, we must make it happen.

I have high hopes for the upcoming school year.  There is nothing greater than the optimism and excitement that greets every teacher and student on the first day of school.   It is up to us to ensure that we leave no stone unturned, no job undone as we work toward success both in and out of the classroom.  Assume nothing.  Plan purposefully and do what needs to be done.  As an exclamation point to this idea, I'll leave you with one last thought from Coach Snyder's interview, 

"I know what we have capabilities of being and whether or not we can reach that level or not is dependent upon a lot of things, and the biggest thing is not taking anything for granted." 




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Bridging the Gap Between Knowing & Doing

6/11/2014

2 Comments

 
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When I was a kid, I had a bad habit of saying, "I know" when my dad would talk to me about something.  He would then say to me, "Well if you know, then why aren't you doing it?"  How often do we "know" but fail to "do?"

After spending the morning in a planning meeting with the executive director of Learning Forward (a professional learning organization for educators), I began to think about the bridge between knowing and doing.  She challenged us as a state organization to get busy, with no excuses, and move from knowing to doing in order to impact the direction of professional learning for educators in our state.  Schools and organizations are notoriously slow to change because we often don't want to leave our comfort zones or fail to provide the necessary education and support to facilitate effective implementation of the desired change.  But schools are not alone in this problem.

I think about how many times we know better, but either don't do what we know we should, or do nothing at all!  The other day when I went to teach my college class, it was seriously raining, yet there were so many cars who didn't have their lights on!  In Kansas, it's a state law to turn on your lights if you are using your windshield wipers.  There are blinkers on every vehicle to signal your intent to turn, yet so many drivers fail to do this simple step.  All these things are designed to keep us safe, to let the other drivers know you're around or your intention to make a change, and yet although we "know," we don't follow through with the "do."

Sometimes we "know" a lot of stuff, but we don't know when or how to use that information.  When we know how to do something and when to do it, then we are applying our knowledge and skills.  The knowledge becomes more than useless trivia, it becomes useful.  When we ask students to do more than memorize and perform rote recall, we are deepening their understanding because now they can actually use what they know.

Doing requires sufficient motivation to act.  No one can make you do anything!  So maybe the first thing we should examine is WHY do we avoid the "doing?"  Sometimes it's because doing means we will become accountable or responsible.  Doing means we have to stop gathering information and move forward. Doing might mean we make a mistake.  Doing makes us uncomfortable when it's not what we usually do!  We know we should be exercising and eating healthy choices and portions.  But we often do - or fail to do - what we know to be the right thing.  Doing may require some discipline on our part, and sometimes it just isn't fun.

But doing is also active and engaging!  Doing makes us feel useful and worthwhile!  The more we do the more experience we gain and the more confidence we build.  Talking about doing something happens all the time and is usually just an exercise in futility.  Letting others do it for you makes you feel helpless or unworthy and offers you no investment.  But doing WITH others is also beneficial too.  No one expects you to do it alone.  Doing requires you get dirty, sweaty, and involved.  And in the end, you can smile and say "I/we did it!"

So instead of just thinking about it, or talking about it, or know you probably should, - just get up and do it!   Cross that bridge from knowing to doing and see what results you get on the other side!   

                                                              **************************

Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and putting one's thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world. 
                                                                     Johan Wolfgang von Goethe, German poet


Action alleviates anxiety.
                                   B.J. Gallagher, Power of Positive Doing


Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
                                                                         Victor Kiam, businessman


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    Author

    Vicki Bechard, 
    Owner and Lead Consultant

    I express myself best when I write, even though most who know me think I talk quite a bit!  

    I'm an educator first and foremost whether my students are kids, teachers, or my own children and grandchildren.  

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