Today was the first day of school for my grandsons.  With that comes the promise of new learning, new friends, new experiences, and new opportunities to grow physically, academically, emotionally, and socially.  As usual, the summer flies by too quickly.  Time is fleeting as we relish the moments we have, always wishing for more.  My husband and I were blessed to take them to the mountains for a trip earlier in the summer.  In the last week or so, I’ve had the pleasure to take them for some grandma field trips that included a stop or two at various playgrounds.  Each time they chose to spend most of the time on the swings.  “Will you push me grandma?” says the youngest.  “Push me higher, grandma!” says the oldest, echoed by the youngest too.
 
           Yes boys, in all ways that matter, I will push you higher.
 
I will push you to show respect to all people, living creatures, and things so that you can appreciate their value, and in turn have respect shown to you.
I will push you to be kind and compassionate, for the power of this simple act leads to greater virtues.
I will push you to make a difference so that you might lift others up and in return feel the satisfaction of knowing your words or deeds benefited another.
I will push you to say something when you see injustice or mistreatment toward others for it is when we take that first step, we can right a wrong; change the culture, and eventually the world.
I will push you to follow your faith, believing in a God that offers acceptance, grace, and forgiveness to all who seek Him.
I will push you to have courage to stand up for your convictions and do what is right when it might not be the most popular thing to do because it is then that your character is revealed.
 
I will push you to do the right thing, to make choices that are responsible, productive, and advance you toward your goals.
I will push you to be curious and continue to learn long after leaving the classroom for learning keeps us relevant and viable in an ever-changing society.
I will push you to try harder, especially when it’s difficult and you feel like giving up, for the satisfaction of completing challenging work is worth the effort.
I will push you to do your very best work every time because “if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well.” (Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield)
 
I will push and encourage you to find your passion and fulfill your dreams.
I will push you to take calculated risks and think outside the box so that you may grow and live life to its fullest.  But I will not push you into harm’s way because your safety and well-being are my top priority.
I will push you to have fun, finding pleasure in recreational and social activities that allow you to relax, recharge, and enjoy life.
I will push you to live a healthy lifestyle so that your life may be more enjoyable and productive.
I will push you to surround yourself with people who share and support your values, your goals, and your interests, but to also embrace those who differ from you so you may expand your knowledge and appreciation of other ideas, cultures, and ways of doing things.
I will push you to travel so that you may appreciate the wonderful world in which we live, and to learn about history and culture so that you may better understand your own legacy.
I will push you to find common ground with others so that you may work together and have amicable relationships personally, within your community, and in your chosen field.
 
Yes boys, I will push you higher… in the swing so we can laugh and enjoy our time together, and in life so you can reach your full potential and become a productive and caring adult.  I will push you to fly and soar like eagles, achieving greatness, but reminding you to return home to the ones you love and who love you.  I will push you as long as I am able, but I will always have your back until I take my last breath.
 
“                     Push me higher, Grandma”…. You bet I will.

I’ve been thinking about all those resolutions that people set as the New Year reveals itself and usually abandon about now.  As I look at my Facebook and Twitter feeds noting others’ resolve, I wonder what I should focus on this year.  What I see from the many shares and re-tweets is the desire to do something that matters.  Whether you want a new look, to be healthier, improve your relationships, get a new job, or to simply make a difference, there is one thread that seems to weave through all of the resolutions out there that will increases the chances of success:  Lean In.
 
What if we spent the entire year (and beyond) leaning in to whatever we set out to do?  How might our relationships improve, our understanding become deeper, and our awareness increase?  How much better would our health and fitness be if we leaned in to be more consistent with our healthy eating choices and increase our effort to exercise more?  How might the quality and quantity of our work improve if we leaned in to tap the wisdom of colleagues, work smarter, or reflect on performance before planning the next steps?  How much better would our attitudes toward each other be if we leaned in to find out a little more about the person or issue we are judging before we make statements or decisions that might not be valid?  What if we leaned in every day to simply make a conscious decision to make a difference?
 
Think of the times you want to hear or see things more clearly.  What do you do?  You lean in.  I’ve been taking my parents to their many appointments in the last few months.  I don’t know if I’ve suddenly began to talk more softly or their high priced hearing aids aren’t quite up to snuff, but I find myself leaning in so they can hear a little better.  I lean in when I take their hand or arm to steady them when they walk on uneven ground instead of walking at my normal pace which would be 20 feet in front of them.  Just as we lean in to hear better or to lend a hand, we also lean in to see better.  I love the screen option on my phone where I can “zoom in” and make the print or picture details big enough to see clearly.  It suddenly makes things more interesting or informative!  The added benefit of leaning in is a little more closeness and personal contact too. 
 
Leaning in means looking into the eyes and seeing the expressions of others.  It means having a face to face conversation when the important stuff comes up instead of a text or email.  Leaning in increases our personal contact, ownership, and empathy.  As a teacher, I would lean in as I spoke to elementary students who were half my height by squatting down to their eye level.  In meetings, sitting side by side allows you to lean in more than sitting across the desk which acts as a silent barrier.  Even the strategy of proximity to adjust behavior implies that you lean in as you walk toward the situation, not away. 
 
Relationships would be stronger if we would lean in more often.  We go about our cram-packed daily schedule and forget about the little things that make relationships thrive.  We take for granted our spouses and friends, assuming that they will continue to be there for us or pick up where we left off regardless of whether we make an effort or not.  Leaning in requires a determination on our part to do those little things that make others feel appreciated, remembered, and cared for.  We may not have time for those long dates or leisurely lunches, but a text, a note, a phone call, or a random hug makes a world of difference to not only the other person but in us too.  Lean in on a regular basis and see how that good relationship can become great again.
 
Like my cats in the picture above, we lean in to stay warm and to calm us in times of crisis. We may snuggle for warmth or comfort under a cozy blanket, or convene a meeting of like minds to resolve a situation.  Collaboration is leaning in to set and achieve goals, solve problems, or improve performance in a small group.  There is safety in numbers, but there is also comfort.  Together we achieve more (TEAM) if we lean in.
 
Leaning in also makes a difference in the success of change initiatives, events, or the organization itself. Our small local church begins our annual “Souper Bowl” on Sunday.   We collect cans of soup and pasta for area food pantries over a 3 week period ending on Super Bowl Sunday.  We have a friendly competition with a nearby church and each year collect more and more cans.  The excitement and energy of this event arises because everyone leans in – to buy soup, donate money, spread the word, and deliver the soup after it’s all over.  We walk our talk to serve others.  What if we leaned in like this the entire year for everything we do to serve our mission and community?  Could we sustain that enthusiasm and benefit from the increased attendance that comes during this time of year, and ultimately accomplish more? 
 
The Kansas State Department of Education has a new slogan that Kansans Can.  It supports the vision and mission that all students can achieve success and be college and career ready.  It won’t happen because they made a clever video or have a cute logo.  It will happen because all stakeholder groups, educators, and even students, will lean in and do the work to realize this goal.  Lean in is not an initiative, but an action.
 
With any initiative, whether it is at work, school, church, or within the community, the more you lean in, the better the result.  When I was in college, I sat on the back row, as far away from the instructor as possible in most classes.  The result was what you might imagine.  I did OK, but in no way was I leaning in to my coursework.  As I got into more difficult, albeit interesting classes, I moved closer to the action.  I achieved the best grade in one of the most challenging courses in my undergraduate work because I was in a small class, actively engaged, and spent each day after class reteaching the math part of the content to my friend who just didn’t get it.  I was in the thick of things.  That lesson helped me later on in my graduate work where I no longer was content to get by.  I leaned in to the content, worked diligently with a colleague, and was actively engaged.  The result was more than a degree, but a level of satisfaction that was much more rewarding.  As a public school teacher in the past and an adjunct instructor and consultant today, I work really hard to help my students/participants lean in and become active learners.  Leaning in isn’t something we naturally do in uncertain situations and sometimes takes a little encouragement.
 
Last of all, leaning in requires you to make an effort and accept responsibility.  It’s easy to sit on the outside and make comments or suggestions without really being involved.  It’s easy to criticize or judge others when we don’t lean in close enough to get the full context of their situation, opinions, or beliefs.  With the political season in high gear, many decisions are being made by those currently in office, and will be made by those running for office.  Lean in folks!  Be informed on the issues and stances of those you will elect by listening to and learning about all sides of the issues.  Most of all, take the time to vote.  I can’t believe how few people voted in the last Kansas statewide election and now how many people are complaining about the subsequent decisions that have been made as a result.  Lean in or be left out.
 
So regardless of the resolution you choose to pursue, or the everyday task at hand, lean in.  Get close to the action.  Make it personal.  Invite others.  Make a difference with your interest and your effort.  Then enjoy the results:  improved health, better relationships, successful events, and happier communities.   Lean In every day!

​Today I lost a little part of me.  I got a hug from my doctor and left his office holding back a few tears, not from any bad news about my health, but because it was most likely the last time I would I would spend any quality time with this man – someone who I have trusted and relied on for over half my life – and in reality maybe the last time I would actually see him.  You see, next week Rod retires.  He’s not an old man.  In fact, he’s just a few years older than I am (so the leap here is that I’m not an old woman…).  He says he still loves being a doctor, but it’s "time to take a breath.”  And he deserves it.  He has grandchildren to chase and old cars to bring back to health.  But oh I will miss him, and I won't be alone.
 
It was 33 years ago in the fall, much like today, when Rod and I first met.  I was expecting my first baby and my husband and I decided it would be best to deliver at the city hospital instead of the country hospital even though it was closer to where we live.  So we found a city doctor.  He was young and hadn’t been practicing that long, but he was highly recommended by friends, and he was a great fit for us from the beginning.  His nurse, Joni, has been his side kick all these years too.  They are quite a pair and they welcomed us to their team with open arms.   Today, as I looked at these familiar faces and shared stories and laughter, I barely noticed the graying hair, laugh lines, and aging faces.  What I did see were two people that truly cared about me, and I about them.  I saw two people who had been with me through some of the highest points in my life with the birth of our children, and through the tough and sometimes scary periods of illness and hospital visits.  We laughed today as we noted that in reality we all have grown up together, and upon closer examination, grown older together as well.
 
I have learned a lot about health and life from this kind and gentle man.  I marvel at the relationship he has with his patients and the patience he exhibits with each and every one.  Today he called me his friend.  And the tears crept closer to the surface.  It’s funny to think of your doctor as your friend when you don’t run in the same social circles, but indeed we are.  We talk about the things friends talk about… our kids, the latest K-State or KU game (and yes he bleeds purple too!), about our jobs, life events, and oh yes, about whatever health issue I was having when I came to visit.  He treated me, the person; not just me, the patient.  One of the things driving him to retirement is that so many try to make “doctoring” a business.  It’s a career focused on people, just like education is.  So we have that in common as well.
 
We talked about the importance of having a primary care doctor who really knew you and your history.  I know there is a need for the walk in prompt-care type medical clinics and the ER, but I don’t want to rely on those options for my regular medical care.  I want the person treating me to know me.  I want them to have a vested interest in me and care about the outcome of my health concerns.  Rod calls himself a dinosaur because he does care and feels an emotional investment in his patients, contrary to what he was taught in medical school and how the corporate world would like to view medicine in general.  Just like I can’t be the best teacher for a child if I am indifferent to their needs and don’t know their story, he can’t be the doctor I need without that connection as well.  I guess that makes me a dinosaur too.

One of Rod’s best qualities is that he really listens.  He hears what you are not saying just as well as what you are saying.  He asks questions.  He relates technical things in ways that are easy to understand.  He makes suggestions, but he doesn’t judge you or make you feel worse than you already do.  Because he listens without judgment, he makes it safe to say what needs to be said, to ask questions, and discuss options.  I was at a conference this week and the presenter, Bruce Wellman, noted that we should, “Make it safe enough for others to think in your presence.”  Rod invited us to share what we were thinking by his own demeanor and practice of listening first.  Wouldn’t all of our relationships improve if we listened first?
 
Several years ago he had his own health crisis and wasn’t able to practice for a couple of years.  We were shocked by his diagnosis and prayed for healing.  And oh did we miss him.  The other doctors that we saw during that time were nice, and took good care of us, but they just weren’t Rod.  Thankfully his health was restored and he was able to return to full time practice.  This time, he walks away on his own terms and while we are sad to see our friend depart, we celebrate a career that has touched so many lives.  And once again I will begin the process of finding another Rod… if that is even possible.  Do they even make them like him anymore?
 
As I drove home late this afternoon, I thought about the other times in my life where separation created these same conflicted feelings – contrasting a full heart of memories and love with an empty longing, as I try to hold on to what was.  One of my closest friends moved across the country 20 years ago.  I have seen her many times over the years and we remain dear, dear friends, but I was forever affected by that physical move.  Even my own decision to pursue another job and to leave the school (and the people) where I taught for 28 years left a real void in my life.  The friendships are still there, but things will never be quite the same.  Rod’s decision to retire is no different.  We often take our circumstances and the people around us for granted, because they are always there…until they are not.
 
Change is never easy and when I first heard about Rod’s retirement I immediately thought I needed to get an appointment scheduled so we could have one last chat – since getting sick wasn’t a guarantee or necessarily the way I wanted to see him for the last time.  I’m glad I got to be a part of the final week of his practice.  I can’t imagine how many times he’s said “goodbye” over the last few months to long time patients who had become old friends.  As I sat in my hospital gown thinking this would his last view of me (Yikes!), I was grateful when he hugged me and slipped out of the room before the tears began to flow.  I’d like to think this isn’t goodbye because we’ll see each other again in the new chapter of his life, but I’m not sure that will happen.  So I’m left with the memories of him sitting and talking to me in the office, delivering my 2 kids, chatting away while he poked and prodded, always keeping me at ease no matter what the situation.  I’ll remember him being Rod.  And I will be grateful to have known him and benefitted from his care. 
 
And now, my friend, go take the time for that much deserved “breath.”

So many stories have emerged from the Kansas City Royals World Series Championship.  The most compelling story for me is the one of relationships:  the kind and quality that exists between the Royals players and coaches, and the love affair the city has with their team. 
 
Winners are successful at the endeavors they seek and do not have to be a part of any kind of sporting team or event to gain that title.  So while sports may not be your thing, being successful is something most of us aspire to be.  How do we teach our kids to be winners in life?  What lessons can we learn from the Royals successful journey to the top of their sport?  While there are many lessons, let’s focus on three.
 
1. Relationships Matter:  Who doesn’t love a winner?  Yet no one is born a winner, winners are made.  Winners climb and claw their way to the top.  Most revel in the moment but are quick to point out all those who helped get them to this point.  That’s why Oscar winners have a long list of people to thank, and the Royals players were quick to note teammates, coaches, family, friends, fans, and even angels that have inspired them along the way.  Many have also demonstrated their faith in God, or other higher being, by pointing to the sky, crossing themselves, or verbally giving thanks for the blessings they have received.  No one believes they got there on their own.  And what it boils down to is that finding success does not mean having the most or best talent, but comes from the belief in oneself, support and encouragement from others, the willingness to step up, and the heart to never quit.  The bottom line is, “Who got you there, baby?”   Relationships matter.
 
2. Having a plan and sticking to it, albeit with adjustments along the way, is an important step in the success process.  Dayton Moore, Kansas City’s General Manager did just that.  You can read all about it in his book (More Than a Season:  Building a Championship Culture) or understand the value he places on relationships by this quote from Jeff Passon’s article in Yahoo News, “The Epic Story of the 2015 Royals and their World Series Championship:”
 
And while Moore embraced statistics, he never forsook the maxims of scouting, one of which was to focus on people, trust them and bask in their success.  “You believe in ’em,” Moore said. “You knew they were going to battle, to put ourselves in a position to win. And they did it.”
 
Even one of Moore’s purposes for writing the book was to recognize the relationships that got both him and the Royals to this championship level as noted in Andy McCullough’s, The K Zone blog,  “It allows us to give credit to a lot of the people who did much of the heavy lifting.”
 
Yes the plan to build a championship culture began with the foundation of focusing on the people.  He not only looked at their skills, but their character and willingness to play hard.  It reminds me of another great coach, Bill Snyder, who built a desolate K-State Football program by creating a culture of hard work, attention to detail, and a focus on success by recruiting men of character, and bringing them all together as family.
 
3.  Never Give Up:  Things happen that get in our way, make us feel bad, or cause us to alter our course.  The bottom line is, developing the capacity to push forward in the face of adversity or frustration begins with one’s attitude.  It doesn’t mean you don’t acknowledge the obstacle or lack of expertise, it means you look for a way around it or through it.  You learn from mistakes – both your own and those that others make – and make adjustments.  The decisions we make and the actions we take determine our course and ultimately our destiny.  We don’t have to be perfect.  We do have to “Keep the Line Moving” as the Royals would say.
 
It also takes a belief that we will find a way to succeed.  Sometimes keeping that faith or belief is hard, but ultimately gets us to our goal.  One of my favorite quotes speaks to the idea that many often give up just before they would have found success.  Dale Carnegie was quoted as saying, “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”  I must admit I could actually be a member of “quoteaholics” because I love them!  They grace my office in books and frames and motivate me because they make me think about my own attitude and subsequent actions.  Just ask my former players and students.  There hardly was a day that went by that they didn’t see a quote on the board in the classroom or the locker room.  Quotes aren’t actions but they spur me to action.  The message here is:  Find a way to succeed.
 
Bonus Lesson (Kids and adults need to realize this too):  Sometimes it’s lonely at the top and once you get there, the pressure is on to stay there.  How do we teach kids to keep on setting new goals and fending off those who would minimize their accomplishments?  I’ve seen it happen all too often in school.  Maybe it starts with what we see in the media.  Read on.
 
Unfortunately as teams or individuals ascend to the top they often fall prey to those who would seek to tear them down for whatever reason.  Jealousy, disappointment, second-guessing, the blame game… they all rear their ugly heads when we find success and more often if we fall short of reaching our goals.  The Mets were the best team in the National League and played in the World Series, but instead of this accomplishment being celebrated throughout New York City in all venues (especially because they weren’t expected to be there), the headline in the New York Post focused on their bitter disappointment by putting them down:  “Amazing Disgrace.”  They did not disgrace themselves despite a couple of untimely errors and emotionally based decisions; they simply didn’t achieve the goal they had set out to. While some newspapers acknowledged that, those few papers whose headlines chose to rub salt into the wound didn’t do anything to help a deeply disappointed Mets team (or their fans) rebound for future success.  Kansas City fans reveled in the 2014 World Series appearance, wondered aloud about the conservative decision to leave a runner on 3rd base to end the game, but rallied behind their team showing them the love and encouraging them to get back up and give it another run.  So often things said in haste or that are negative in nature may not reflect the majority viewpoints, but seem to be the things we remember most because of the pain they cause.  How we respond to disappointment of ourselves and others impacts how we perform in the future.  Mistakes happen.  Goals are not met.  Every. Day.  Relationships matter through both good times and bad; through thick and thin and yes even “til death do us part.”
 
In the meantime, it's time for the parade. I will be #ForeverRoyal and celebrate this 2015 World Series Championship for many years to come because I love my Royals (and of course my Wildcats) as well as my many family and friends who support me through all the many endeavors I undertake.  Where would I be without you?
 
 
 
 

I'm happy to say that I'm walking regularly again.  My usual path consists of traveling around our circle driveway many, many times during my 30 minute walk. I realize this is a redundant path, but it has given me the opportunity to get better acquainted with our cats as I observe their behavior during my walk time.  The kittens are especially fun to watch, but I have noticed there are also many lessons to learn from all our farm cats that can help us make a difference.

Relationships Matter.  I know there are many of you who consider themselves a "pet person" but I tend to be a "people person" so pets are nice, but I prefer them to be outdoors in my world.  I am never mean to the cats, and would miss them if they were gone, but in reality, I am a disappointment to some of my cat loving family and friends.  However, my husband and son could be considered cat whisperers because they spend quality  time with our cats and as a result have a close relationship with all of them, wielding a lot of influence over their behavior.  I, on the other hand, occasionally throw a can of cat food into their bowl, scratch their heads and talk to them as I pass by.   I readily admit I am attached to them somewhat, but in no way do I have a quality relationship with them and alas, it shows.  Do you know those who treat people this way too?

The kittens tend to be leery of me, even afraid, but the older cats know that I'm good for a couple of minutes of petting them and a brief "how are you" conversation, so we're more like acquaintances than friends.  But if I take the time to talk to the kittens one-on-one in a soft voice with my hand extended to them, I can usually entice them to let me pet them.  One small victory for the people person.  

On a recent walk, the kittens were gravitating toward the highway that runs past our house.  I was trying to talk them out of this and encouraging their mother to get them back to the yard, but my directions were falling on deaf ears. As I began to adjust my path to go round up the kittens, my husband came out of the house and saw what was happening. Immediately he tells them to get back to the house and away from the road and they all did exactly what he told them to do!  Isn't that just like people?  We listen to those who we know care about us.  It's no wonder when he comes outside they come running, and when I come outside, they often run the other way!

One of our kittens is a little different in the way he looks compared to the other three, and definitely is different in his temperament.  My husband calls him "Timmy" because he's naturally timid, slow to trust others, and easily spooked. All the kittens are just as cute as can be and very active, investigating and pouncing on unsuspecting bugs or blowing leaves, and wrestling with each other.  Even Timmy lurks around checking out all the sights and moving things he finds in our yard.  He is a little less timid if his siblings are around - a good case for the old adage that there is safety in numbers.  The kittens chase each other up and around the trees, exploring the junk around our barn, and follow me while I'm walking.  They are naturally curious and looking for fun.  Just like our own human kids tend to be.... until we tell them to sit down and be quiet. 

In contrast to the activity of the kittens is the slower pace of the adult cats.  They lay around, eat, groom themselves and each other, go directly from point A to point B without much investigation, and wait for the "people" to pet them and give them some love.  They tolerate the bouncing kittens who want to play, but passionately defend them when a stray tom cat ventures into our neighborhood.  They are content and in their happy place.  Isn't this like a lot of adults you know?

School is getting ready to start in the next month and my farm cats made me think of the many relationships and feelings that exist at school, whether it's an elementary school, high school, or university.  There will be new students and teachers too, who are both excited and timid in their new situation.  They will explore and investigate their new environment and find comfort and allegiance in those who give them attention and make an effort to know and guide them.  We can only hope it will be the kind of attention we want them to have. They will also be unsure, and will view new situations and some people with skepticism.  We hope someone will reach out and give them a hand, mentoring them toward excellence and fulfillment.  

As they gain more friends, they will gain more confidence, try new things, and understand their boundaries.  They will continue to be excited and energetic if that is what we encourage.  We want them to settle in and be comfortable, but not so comfortable that they no longer are curious and become complacent.  

I worry about the kid that is different or who hasn't found their niche in their new school.  There is comfort in having a circle of friends with whom to play or study, or simply eat with at lunch.  We often think of new students, but forget that there are new teachers too.  They may be totally new to education or simply new to this particular school.  They too need mentoring and patience as they find their way in a new environment.

How will we respond to the kids in our school, our classroom, on our bus, or in our community?  All kids need to feel like they belong and are cared for by those who live and work within their world.  All teachers need to feel they are supported and appreciated too.  How will we make a difference?  Will we just throw some food their bowl and pet them occasionally, as I have done too often with our cats?  Or will we nurture them and give them the attention they deserve so they can trust us and know they are loved and cared for like my husband and son treat our cats?  


I may not be a pet person, but I am a people person, and I want to make sure I do my part to be welcoming and helpful to others every day.  My grandsons will be attending a new school this fall.  I hope someone makes them feel welcome, nurtures them, and helps them find a positive place to learn and grow so they will feel right at home because it's a little farther to grandma's house than it used to be.

 

Last night, I sat in my living room alternating from anxiety to quiet cheering (my husband had gone to bed!) over the many highs and lows of the wild and wholly Kansas City Royals and Oakland A's play off game.  This morning, I look back on that crazy game and the season that the Royals have had and think about the many teachable moments that classrooms everywhere could be having today whether you're a fan or not (and how could you not be?).

The first lesson is Never Give Up.  Persevere.  Find a way.  All season long, the Royals have been streaky, finding ways to climb atop the Central Division of the American League, only to slide and have to regain their momentum.   In games, they found ways to claw back and beat teams that thought they had a win sewed up.   Never giving up requires a belief in yourself and a willingness to continue to look for answers after recognizing that what you were doing wasn't working.  It also means moving past mistakes, whether they be player throwing errors or managerial strategic errors.  Tuesday night's game was no exception.  A base running blunder shut down an early rally.  Swinging at pitches far out of the strike zone on a regular basis demonstrated their own anxiety as they tried to make the comeback happen with every pitch.  And then there was that first pitching change that had us all scratching our heads.  How many times have we given up as students, or in relationships, or at work because we let the obstacles overshadow the fact we had the ability to dig down a little deeper and still achieve the goal?  How many times have we made an adjustment that just didn't work, so we stopped trying to find more solutions and instead just said, "Oh well," and let it go?  Not the Royals.

The second lesson is Utilize Your Strengths.  All season long (and last night during the national broadcast) we heard about how the Royals aren't home run hitters... in fact the worst team in Major League Baseball.  Yet we found a way to win 89 regular season games, so there had to be some sort of talent there.  They call it the small ball game.  Dinking and doinking hits (as Rex Huddler the Royals TV commentator would say) and running wild on the base paths.  We don't seem to possess natural power but we can run, and run we did all season long (leading the Majors in stolen bases).  Last night alone the Royals had 7 stolen bases and 5 in the nail-biting last few innings!  The A's designated hitter hit 2 home runs last night, accounting for 5 runs.  And they lost.  So power isn't always the answer.  The key is to take advantage of your strengths to minimize your weaknesses.  If a student isn't a great test taker, then be the best writer, analyst, or discussion leader possible.  Learn the material in ways that you understand it thoroughly and can apply it.  Then every now and then you'll hit that test out of the ball park, but in between times, you are still winning games in different ways.

The third lesson is teamwork.  We accomplish a lot more when we work with others rather than trying to do everything ourselves.  No one has all the answers all of the time.  While last night's game ended with one player getting the winning hit, it was the team and their loyal, maniacal fans that kept the possibilities of a win alive all night long even when the scoreboard showed it might be an early exit to the first post season appearance in 29 years.  You could see the players encouraging each other and planning strategy.  The fans were on their feet, doing their part cheering wildly and chanting, "Let's go Roy-als!" over and over.  They rallied together and won together, and had they lost, they would have lost together too.  They own their mistakes and give credit to others when they succeed.  They feed off each other and the energy generated by the roaring crowd.  Relationships matter on and off the field, in and out of the classroom, and in the work place.  You have each other's back.  You try out new ideas and help find ways to succeed together.  You celebrate successes and  encourage and comfort when things aren't going well.  It's easy to support a consistent winner.  It's the sign of a true commitment to show unconditional love and support through the droughts and disappointments of "close but no cigars."  And in the end that belief, camaraderie, and support gives us the tools and the motivation to persevere and emerge as winners. 

Post Game Thoughts.  In the world of education and politics we can learn a lot from the Royals win last night, and the journey that got them this far.  There have been disagreements over strategies and performances, and calls from fans for the ouster of the manager or for players to be traded, but in the end, the boys in blue band together everyday and play the game.  Success doesn't happen overnight.  The last 2 years they have utilized their strengths and put together winning seasons after the owner was finally willing to put some money into obtaining and retaining the talent that is needed to make the goal of winning easier to accomplish.  With our political fights polarizing our populace and making it difficult for schools to do what they need to do to effectively provide the best education possible for our students, teachers go to work every day and play the game.  They utilize their dwindling resources to the best of their ability, working for a win each and every day.  But we recognize that this is a team effort and one that comes with the need to obtain and retain the best educators and provide them with the necessary tools and resources.  Most of all, educators need all of our SUPPORT to cheer them on, work with them and not against them.  When we support education the way we support our favorite teams, the final score will show a win for our kids and that's what really matters.  Be Royal!

In World War II, and probably in other wars too, American bombers sought to destroy the bridges of our enemies.  This single act served to thwart their movements and cut them off from supplies and each other.  It was an effective strategy and theoretically, no one had to die (although I'm sure many did).

A few years ago, the state highway department replaced a bridge near our house.  Who knew how often we drove across that bridge on a daily basis?  It was the most direct route to town, to work, and school, and also went right past my parents' house.  A detour was provided, but certainly was not the preferred route.  My mother often complained during this construction time that we rarely saw each other any more.  It was because the detour didn't allow us to easily go to their place even though we were less than 1 mile apart.  We had to back track and make the effort or they had to go the long way around to get to us, and apparently we often fell short.  Bridges are significant infrastructures.  They connect us to others and the services we need.  They make our lives more convenient and surprisingly, more meaningful.  Sometimes we fail to appreciate those bridges until they are unavailable.  When confronted with those large orange detour signs that warn us "ROAD CLOSED AHEAD - BRIDGE OUT" -  we realize reaching our destination just got a little more difficult, and we might not be the only ones who feel cut off.

One of my passions in education is moving from knowing and doing.  With this in mind, it is important to remember that the very nature of bridges helps us connect, getting us from point A to point B, whether it's through travel, learning, or taking us from knowing to doing. Examining and creating connections to real life or things that are familiar, makes learning meaningful.  Personal connections make everything we do more fulfilling as we feel a part of the larger group where we can receive support while working toward common goals.

Personal connections are indeed bridges to understanding.  My favorite teacher in middle school and high school was certainly knowledgeable in his field (English) but it was the relationships he built with his students that built the bridges that helped us understand and feel connected.  We cared about what he wanted to teach us because he cared about us.  He made it a point to know us and make us feel that what we thought and did mattered.  When we were seniors, we dedicated our yearbook to him.  Simon and Garfunkel's, "Bridge Over Troubled Waters" had been a big hit during my high school days (yes, that makes me old) and we used that theme to honor this man and the influence he had on us.  I often use the following quote from Teddy Roosevelt in my workshops and with my students, "People don't care what you know until they know that you care."  Caring is the first step in building bridges.  This is a valuable lesson we must take with us everyday as we go to work or school, work within the community, and especially when we are with family and friends. Taking the time to build those bridges is truly worth it in terms of how it makes us feel, others feel, and how effective we can be.

New situations would be made easier if we worked harder at building bridges.  When we enter a room with unfamiliar people, making those personal connections during introductions helps us remember their name and immediately builds a bridge.  Extend that to the work place or a group that you are set to lead.  As the new "boss," the first priority should be building bridges, relationships if you will, with the staff/employees/members. It is imperative to take the time to woo their hearts so you both believe they matter, both as people and as workers or members, much like we woo the affections of a potential mate.  Those team building activities at the beginning of meetings or class may seem like fluff, but they are important to building those relationships that will make a difference in how well the organization will run. You may have big dreams and high expectations for those you oversee, but to paraphrase Roosevelt, until they know you care, they won't care what you know or what you want them to do.   We have great power at our finger tips if we realize that everything we do and everything we don't do matters.  

New employees or members would also benefit from our efforts to build bridges so that their experience as a part of our team is beneficial to both them and us.  They will learn the required processes more quickly if we have established mentoring relationships and a framework to provide information and support so that their transition to this new role will allow them the opportunity to be successful.

Answering "Why" questions helps build bridges to understanding the need for change.  It helps make the "how" and the "what" more meaningful by defining the purpose more clearly.  Taking the time to address the "why" questions - proactively if possible - builds bridges by recognizing the individual needs, questions, and concerns of those involved.  Leaders, including parents, often start with the 'what" or the "how" and only address the "why" if asked.   Again, everyone needs to feel like they are being heard - that what they think and feel matters.  As a result our responses to those questions that are voiced matter too.  And FYI, despite what you may have heard, "Because I said so" isn't an effective bridge-building response either. 

Then there are those times we must rebuild bridges that have been damaged or destroyed by our own words or actions.  The Marshall Plan was enacted to rebuild war-torn Europe after World War II.  One of the first things that was addressed was to rebuild the infrastructure (roads and bridges) to connect people and reduce their isolation.  These were the very bridges that we had bombed just a few months or years earlier and now we were set to help rebuild them.  We have all had moments where we have said or done things we wished we could take back, but the damage was done.  How we respond will determine if the relationship remains strained or ruined, or if we can find ways to re-connect.  We can't undo the damage but we can go forward and rebuild.  As our babysitter used to tell our kids, "Sorry doesn't fix it, but you can change that behavior."  A few years ago, I reconnected with my childhood best friend, after years of estrangement over some stuff that happened in college (pretty silly as I look back), because she reached out to build a bridge across our strained relationship.  I am thankful every day that she took that chance and that I was able to respond in kind so that we could rebuild that friendship.  That new bridge is priceless.

What bridge will you build today?  How will you be a better friend? How will you be a better leader?  How will you make a difference in the lives of others?  As you find a way to make someone feel like they matter, remember YOU matter too!

What does it take to survive life's storms?  To stand tall when faced with new opportunities or when others around you take a different path?  To remain grounded when others would suggest faster but weaker options? What questions do you have when you consider this lone house surrounded by devastation?

Our pastor showed this picture during his sermon a few weeks ago and I was captivated by the impact of this solitary house surviving the destructive winds of a hurricane.  He definitely had my attention... but then my thoughts drifted to the possibilities and questions this picture inspired. and the blog I knew I would soon write.

My first thought went back to words from an old Bible School song, "The wise man built his house upon the rock...the foolish man built his house upon the sand."  Was the location for the house in the picture on more solid footing than the surrounding sandy soil?  How does that analogy apply to our lives too?  Can we not survive life's storms more easily if we have a solid foundation of faith, values, and support of family and friends?  No one can avoid life's storms, but how we plan for, respond, and ultimately move forward from those storms is often based on the things we can hold on to... and maybe more importantly, the things that hold on to us.  When we believe in ethical principles, strong values, and have faith that will anchor us, we are better able to weather those storms.  Those "things' are not tangible, but yet provide us context and hope.  They help us make decisions and plan for a better tomorrow.  The relationships we build with family, friends, and colleagues embrace us during times of joy and in times of despair.  We may be likely to reach out to help others, but reluctant to seek the same help for ourselves, yet that is critical to our survival of the storms that roll through our lives.  

Another thought that came to mind was that sometimes we feel like we are alone, standing out, with no one around us to whom we feel connected.  At times, the alone feeling happens when we begin a new venture...a transition if you will... an opportunity for a new job, move, or regrouping after a life changing event, whether good or bad.  Even amid the throngs of people that may surround us in our life or new location, we feel alone, facing this change without our usual supports.  How do we get through these times?   I believe it goes back to the foundations and relationships we have built that ground us, support us, and provide us with the hope and tools to stand strong and emerge to better times.

Finally I thought about how sometimes we are tempted to take the easy road because it is faster or the trendy thing to do.  When we stand our ground and do what we believe to be right, we may feel like we are standing alone.  Cautious or prudent behavior is not always popular or fun, but often can keep us from making hasty decisions that come back to bite us later.  Students frequently hurry to get their work done so they can race out the door for recess, not taking the time to ensure accuracy or learning.  What we do and how we do it matters.  Did the builders of the house in the picture use better materials, or have a better blueprint to fend off storms when they erected that house?  Consider the 3 Little Pigs children's story.  The pigs that used sticks and straw to build their houses because it was fast and easy made fun of the pig who used bricks, but in the end, when the Big Bad Wolf came knocking, trying to blow their houses down, it was the house made of bricks that survived and sheltered that pig from the threat of the wolf who pursued all of them.

In the end, what we believe in, act on, and how we do it really does matter.  Some might say it was luck or the grace of God that resulted in the house being spared.  And while that may be true, there may be an explanation whereby we have some control over how the bumps and storms of life impact us.  Find faith.  Determine what is important that you will believe in.  Build relationships that are helpful to you and the endeavors you seek.  Then act in ways to support your faith and beliefs and nurture those important relationships.  So when "the rains come down and the floods come up, your house on the rock stands firm."

Today is my birthday and I am blessed to have been showered with countless (although you can count if you want to) birthday wishes posted to my timeline (as is the custom on Facebook), traditional cards, and e-cards too.  But one post today encouraged me to "Have a Happy Birthday and Blog On!"  I thought about that birthday greeting, and decided I would do just that!

I love to blog about others, issues, education, and things that inspire me, but while I love to tell a good story, blogging about me is not something that comes easy to me, or a subject that I would imagine most people would want to read about.  But today's my birthday, so I am taking this opportunity to say some things that are near and dear to my heart.

I could talk about the things I love to do, the passions I have for the teams I cheer for, the places I love to visit, or the place I call home.  But today I will focus on the intangibles...those things you really can't measure or touch in terms of how they make you feel.  As the saying goes, the best things in life are not things.

I am blessed by a wonderful life.  I have a husband of 35 years, children, and parents that love me and support me in all that I do.  I am also loved and surrounded by siblings, in-laws and extended family.  But no one plucks my heart strings quite like my grandsons.  They bring a smile to my face and a warmth to my heart that is unequaled.  I am interested in things they do that I never thought were interesting before.  I want to come to their rescue if there is a problem, and have found strength and patience I never knew I had as a result of being bestowed with the title of "grandma."  Once when my oldest grandson slammed his fingers in the sliding door of my daughter's van at a KSU football game, I carried all 50 pounds of him to the ER at the hospital that was conveniently located across from the stadium, but still quite a distance from where we were.  On a normal day, I can barely carry in the bag of potassium for our water softener from the garage 20 feet into the house.  Yet on that day I carried him without a thought, and I wasn't even tired until I put him down.   The youngest grandson often greets me, running at full speed to give me a big hug, saying, "Graaaannndddddmmmaaa!" Whose heart would not melt at that greeting? Those boys inspire me to feel more and do more than I ever thought I could.

I am a collector of many things - blue glass, Santas, and moose to name a few, but I also collect "friend" items and quotes because friendship is important to me in ways many do not understand.  A quote by Vincent Van Gogh kind of sums it up for me:
“Close friends are truly life's treasures. Sometimes they know us better than we know ourselves. With gentle honesty, they are there to guide and support us, to share our laughter and our tears. Their presence reminds us that we are never really alone.”

Friends improve the quality of one's life and I am lucky to have many really good friends who make me laugh, and who appreciate and support me for who I am and what I aspire to do.  They have enriched me both personally and professionally, and some have helped me achieve my dreams of owning my own business and making a difference in the lives of others.  I am also fortunate to have a few very dear friends who I can rely on for just about anything.  Their love and support get me through the trying times, provide me the opportunity to get things off my chest and experience gales of laughter.  No matter the distance between us, we still get each other.  Mostly we can just share the everyday things without any fanfare or pretense.  I have enjoyed a week of lunches and good times to celebrate "my day," but in reality, it is just friends being friends.

I have also been blessed to have a career in education that has been fulfilling and continues to provide me ways to feel relevant and engaged in life.  I have made countless friends and acquaintances because of my educational experiences.  I love the interaction with students no matter what their age, seeing them grow and gain new understanding before my eyes.  This week I have had the additional blessing to be reminded by some former students, now adults, that I did make a difference in their lives along the way. I am humbled and grateful that they take the time to share this with me.  It is also endearing that some still call me "coach" despite the years that have passed.  I have so many fond memories of the times spent in the gym or at the track. Those are bonds sealed by sweat and tears and will never be forgotten.

Finally I know that without my faith in God that none of this would be possible.  The life I live is part of a plan that I cannot begin to fathom.  I know I'm here to make a difference some how, some way.  I know that people cross our paths and situations happen that seem insignificant at the time, but alter the course of our lives.  I know that I often plan and hope for things that never happen and while I am disappointed, I know that there is a reason - something bigger in the grand scheme of things - that I just don't see yet.  But when I look back later, I will see why something did or didn't happen and the result of that action.  I believe God supports me when I can't do it alone, but also has a sense of humor and winks at me to let me know He's with me.  I have a wooden cross hanging above my desk - a gift from one of those dear friends - that says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."   I love this and what it represents.  And it is from Proverbs (3: 5-6), my favorite book in the Bible, because it's full of God's locker room slogans for life!

My wish for you as my birthday comes to a close, is that you identify and celebrate the blessings in your life.  Find the good; focus on the silver lining, and see what a difference it makes in your life so that you may make a difference in the lives of others.  Enjoy your year - I know I will!