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Vicki's Blog

My thoughts on education, improvement, and life itself.  Enjoy!

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Anticipation:  Enjoying the Moments

5/23/2015

4 Comments

 
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As my son's wedding rapidly approaches, I am reveling in the memories that flood back, the details that are being attended to, and the realization that this most anticipated event is almost here.  I can hardly wait! Enjoy the moments.  It's the little things that often turn out to be the big things.  It's the journey not the destination.  The gift is the anticipation.  We often say that the anticipation is killing us, but in reality, it's the most enjoyable part of any journey!  

We have so many things to look forward to in our lives.  Most things fill us with hope and promise of laughter, smiles, and better days.  There are certainly things that are dreaded that fill us with anticipation, but it's the joyous occasions that we hold dear in our hearts.  The anticipation of vacations, new jobs, family events, weddings, babies, and so much more, provide us with journeys we fondly remember and from which the stories of our lives emerge.

Think about how children (and adults too!) act when Christmas approaches.  The tree goes up, gifts accumulate under the tree, and the stockings hang waiting to be filled with Santa's treats.  They peek, shake packages, and giggle with delight.  When Christmas morning finally comes, they tear through packages and suddenly look around and go, "Is that all?"  It's not because they are greedy but because the anticipation has turned into reality and even though it was exciting, the reality is - there are now 354 days before it happens again.

 As a sprinter sits in the blocks at the biggest track meet of his/her life, getting ready for the run that will be over in mere seconds, he/she methodically puts every body part in the right position, breathes deeply, relaxes and waits for the gun to send him/her hurtling down the track.  They trained for this moment for days, weeks, months, maybe even years.  And just like that it's over in the blink of an eye.  So yes, the destination, the moment we've all been waiting for, is monumental, but it will be the journey - the anticipation if you will - that is remembered fondly and oh yes, almost as an asterisk, so will the results.  

Next weekend, my son and his fiance get married.  We have been looking forward to this since before they became engaged.  People moaned when they said it would be two years before the wedding occurred.  And while that seemed a long time in the future, I knew it would be over in the blink of an eye, just as the last 24 years of his life have gone by. 

Wasn't it just yesterday that my baby boy, who was due in June, waited until July to arrive so he could have a birthday in the same month as the rest of his family?   Where did the little boy go that once let Legos, Power Rangers, and Harry Potter dominate his world?  Everything he did he did well, or he didn't do it at all.  My little thinker took his time before he played sports, considered all of his options before making a decision, took only calculated risks if the reward was great enough (like agreeing to perform in solo trombone competitions and select groups so he could get that prized trigger trombone he wanted so badly), and played everything by the book.  The friends he hung out with as a 5 year old, were still his friends as a teenager, and now they will stand up with him, along with a couple of new friends he made along the way, as he marries his one true love.

My son has grown up from that neat and orderly little boy, to a neat and orderly adult.  The only real risk he's taken in his life was to give his heart to that blond, curly-haired trombone player in the K-State Marching band who turned his head and made him feel like he was over the moon.  She reeled him in (just like she did all of us) with her ready smile and caring ways.  I asked him one time what he liked about her the most and he said it was how kind she was and how she made everyone around her feel comfortable.  What a great thing to say about another person and I was proud that he valued those traits too.  No wonder he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her!

Family and friends have planned for this big event for most of these past 2 years.  I know there will be things we forgot or have to adjust at the last minute.  It will be okay.  And as my son's soon-to-be mother-in-law observed last weekend, "It doesn't really matter if every detail goes off as planned.  The important thing is that when it's done, they will be married, and I can't wait for that to happen!"   I totally agree... their marriage is the most important thing, but I can't help but breathe it all in as this leg of the journey comes to an end.  

I know I will be savoring every moment of the decorating, the rehearsal, the wedding, and the reception that follows.  I will be grateful for photos and videos that help me relive what will soon jumble in my memory.  I remember my daughter's wedding much the same way.  But as much as I wanted to be in the moment, much of it was a blur. 

I continue to look at the slide show made for the wedding and wonder where the time went.  My emotions are bubbling at the surface, ready to spill without warning.  A song, a look, or a hug may let it all pour out.  I'm okay with that.  I want to feel as much as I want to see and hear everything that goes on during this last week of preparation.  All too soon, the anticipation of this blessed event will give way to reality.  As the song notes, "This is the Moment" that I will be trying my darnedest to enjoy and savor.  And as the last song fades, the decorations fall gently to the floor, and the bride and groom steal away into the night, we will look back and smile and realize it's now time to find something new to look forward to.  In the meantime, I'll be enjoying every moment.







4 Comments

Where Have You Been?  Better Yet, Where Are You Going?

1/2/2015

1 Comment

 
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It's been a while since we've spoken. You might be asking, "Where have you been?"  I've been...well... busy. Too busy to stay in touch?  To write a few lines?  To say "hello?"  

I started this blog nearly 2 months ago, and today it is time answer these questions and to finish it!  Yes, I have been busy.  Yes, the holidays have come and gone, my grading is done, and yet there is so much to do - to catch up on what I didn't get done while I was being "too busy."  But I have missed writing.  I felt guilty wanting to blog when so many other deadlines were pressing.  I also think I  let the search for the perfect topic come between us, when all I really need to do is just sit down and say hello.  So here I am.  "Hi!  How have you been?"

So... Where Have I Been?  In between all the projects I've graded, the conferences I've attended, and the presentations I have made, I have been searching for something to inspire me to write again.  I considered a lot of ideas, but nothing just sent me rushing to the computer to begin composing a new post.  Sometimes Facebook is my inspiration because people share photos or words of wisdom that get me to thinking.  "Liking" it isn't enough.  But with all the New Year's resolutions and advice that people put forth I've found a couple of gems.  I feel like some of those deadlines that have come and gone served to repress my creative spirit, and now the words are starting to fill my head again (not just come out of my mouth!).  So this morning when I finally sat down to write, I found this short draft in my blog spot and it was a perfect fit to begin writing what I wanted to say!

Now... Where Am I Going?  My first piece wisdom for myself (and others who want to benefit from my experiences):  You Can't Do It All!  I love being busy but I didn't like some of the results of the last 3 months because I was TOO busy!  I wasn't a very good friend or family member.  Conversations started with, "Hi, what are you doing?"  Working.  Grading.  I have a conference call in 20 minutes.  I will be gone to provide training, attend a conference, meeting, etc.  At no time did I say, "I just finished reading a great book!" (I have several on the shelf waiting for me to take a break); or "I invited the grandkids over for a play date" (not a babysitting day); and even worse, I did not ask, "How are you?"  I whined too often.  I made excuses.  I squeezed in lunches and baking days with my friends and family by putting them on my calendar so I wouldn't schedule something else.  I stayed up late most nights, too late in fact, grading or picking up, because there just wasn't enough time in the day.  My house didn't get cleaned unless we were having company, and the clutter on the counter only moved when it was time to bake or be the hostess.  I was still wrapping gifts Christmas Eve!  I did a lot of things for others that were important and worthwhile, but.... At some point, I have to say no or at least maybe.  I have to realize the world will go on even if I'm not involved in every decision or every activity. I have inadvertently trained people around me to expect that I will do it and that they are not needed.  That is on me and I shouldn't complain about being too busy or no one else stepping up.  I have to change and be willing to have others look at me funny when I say "I can't do that today."  Most of all I have to stop SAYING I'll find some balance and actually start DOING that!

The second piece of wisdom I am committing to is to Be Present.  I know you think that since I'm involved in so many things, so how could I not be present?  But I'm not.  I play on my phone too much.  I am constantly thinking about what else I have to do, and when I'm going to get that done.  I am a planner (some would say control freak).  I am not as good of a listener as I could be because I often am thinking of a response instead of truly listening to what the other person is saying.  When ideas pop into my head, I start mulling those over even if it causes me to be distracted from the task at hand which leads to mistakes or forgetting.  (That's different than walking into a room and wondering what it was you came in here to do!)  I think the first thing I will do is when I'm talking with others, I will put my phone away - not just down, but out of sight.  I think I have a relationship with my phone because I'm by myself a lot during the day and it allows me to check in with the world or provides me with a break from my work through some entertaining game that I rationalize as beneficial to my brain. That is a habit... like chewing fingernails, or opening the snack cabinet every time you walk by.  You have to find ways to change your behavior.  Put it down.  Don't touch it.  Do something else.  Look at the other person in the eye.  Be present.

My final piece of advice to myself is to: Be kind; make a difference; clean my office; get organized; be a better friend, wife, mom, grandma; learn something new; read more books; find time for me; clean my house more often; exercise more; watch what I eat; call my mom; grow my business; blog every week...... Oh NO!  These habits are going to be hard ones to break... or should I?  Maybe I just need to aim for balance and moderation!  Welcome to my world!

I'll be back next week with an update on my progress!  In the meantime, have a great week.  It's been nice to talk with you again!  


1 Comment

    Author

    Vicki Bechard, 
    Owner and Lead Consultant

    I express myself best when I write, even though most who know me think I talk quite a bit!  

    I'm an educator first and foremost whether my students are kids, teachers, or my own children and grandchildren.  

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