Sometimes we see a beautiful scene and we just sit and watch and take it all in.  Sometimes, we just have to go there.  We could admire the view and live vicariously throughout our life and appreciate what the world has to offer.  Or we could live it and feel it first hand.

What if?  How can I?  We can respond to new ideas or challenges with doubt or a resounding "NO!"  Or we could consider the possibilities.  Isn't it interesting how life provides us with all kinds of opportunities and our reactions to those make all the difference?

I started this blog last night, thinking of the recent opportunities presented to me that were exciting, but also caused me to be somewhat anxious. I acted on the opportunity because I didn't want any regrets.  I have no illusions that there are any guarantees, but just resolving to try made me feel at ease.  Then this morning, I read a post  by my favorite blogger, Dan Rockwell (Leadership Freak:  Choose Your Default Response), and his words spoke to me again about the responses we choose and how those impact not only ourselves, but those around us too.  

It happens all of the time... we must respond in some way to every situation.  What will I do today as I roll out of bed?  Did I smile?  Did I take time to acknowledge, or just rush on by?  Will I go or will I stay?  Should I or shouldn't I?  Can I do this? or How can I do this?

When presented with something new, are you that person who says "No" first and then reconsiders (or wishes you had)?  What if you simply considered the possibilities?  What if your first thought is how can I make this work, or use this new idea?  What if you put yourself "in" the view instead of just wishing your were there?  New challenges us.  It is exciting, but it means change and that often scares us into doubt or retreat.  What if we didn't let doubt be our first thought?

There are also the reactions to obstacles or mistakes.  Stress makes us do some crazy things sometimes.  How do you react when something goes awry?   Do you freak out or get busy finding a solution?  When I taught Psychology we talked about the "fight or flight" response.  Do you own it and try to work through it or correct the issue?  Or do you run.... sometimes literally... the other way? My grandson is a perfect example of this.  When he spills his glass of juice or knocks something off the counter, instead of trying to right the "wrong" - he literally runs out of the room.  I'm not sure if he doesn't know what to do (despite our efforts to teach him), he's afraid of the consequences (which are not as bad as he's imagining), or he's just disappointed in himself.  No matter, his response is to flee and then come back to "fight"  after some encouragement from us.  On the other hand, his younger brother's typical response is to fix it... so he responds by picking up the spilled glass and saying he's sorry for knocking the papers off the counter.  Totally different reactions to similar situations... can we learn to respond differently? Do some of these same responses show up when we consider a new challenge or idea? 

Sometimes, as noted in Dan's blog, we just freeze.  Paralysis from analysis? Perhaps, but as my dad used to say, "Not to decide is to decide."  Even our inaction is an action.  When we "freeze" we take the consequences instead of having some control over them.  If you "freeze" when a car suddenly veers in your lane, you risk being hit head on unless you take corrective action.  Even if the decision is not life altering, when you can't (or don't) decide then that indecision impacts others around you who are waiting on your decision.  Have you ever worked for a boss who took too long to make decisions?  Everything comes to a standstill until the decision is rendered.  Indecision is selfish in some ways too because it forces others to make the decision or deal with the fallout of the indecision.  Indecision can also impact you because you may miss an opportunity or a good deal.

Whatever the situation, we develop default responses.  And while your personality may make you cautious or risky, you can learn (or unlearn) responses that will help you make good choices that will enhance your knowledge and/or experiences. 

Working with others means there are ideas out there you might not have previously considered.  As a teacher, I generally have something in mind for an answer when I pose a question.  Sometimes students don't respond the way I intended.  Does that make their response incorrect?  Sometimes, but many times it means they simply thought about my question in a different way.  Their background knowledge shaped their perspective just as mine did.  So I have to carefully consider the response they provided and the response I will give them too.  When new ideas are presented, consider making your initial response, "How might this work" instead of "this won't work."  

I believe that living your life with possibilities instead of doubt will make all the difference.  If you can do that, those scenic views or adventures will now be something you've experienced not just simply dreamed of. As George Bernard Shaw once said, "Some men see things and ask 'why?'  I dream of things that never were and ask, "why not?"  

So this week, I have not just dreamed a new dream, but I have acted on that dream.  Will I get what I seek - who knows?  But I brushed aside the doubt and silenced the many reasons it might not happen that creep into my thoughts. I have taken that first step forward.  Perhaps it is a leap of faith, but without that first step, how would I ever know what could be?  My default response now makes me more open to possibilities.... and you just never know where that will lead.

This past week, the principal I worked for the longest, got his hall pass to heaven.  And in keeping with his considerate nature, he passed away during spring break which allowed the educators in his family time to grieve and tend to his final arrangements without doing lesson plans, or missing school.  

I had kind of lost track of him since his retirement, so I was surprised when I heard that he had died.  But it didn't take long for many memories to quickly  surface of the time we spent in the hallways, in meetings, and just talking about life in general.  At the service, I listened to a couple of family members describe him and how much he had touched their lives  too, because as much as he loved education, his family was the centerpiece of his life.

There are so many ways that we touch the lives of others, and yet we might not even notice because they seem insignificant or unconnected at the time.  Jim influenced me in ways that I know I didn't even realize at the time, but in the last few days as I thought back on the many years that I worked for him, it was apparent that he definitely left a footprint or two in my life and actually helped shape my career.  I never thought about him in terms of being the best principal I ever had, but he did positively impact me in many ways.  He didn't really inspire me with speeches but he made me think because of the questions he asked.  I learned how to use computers from him when they first became a part of schools.   He was instrumental in getting me involved in school improvement issues which became the path my career would take several years later.  When I was thrust into the role of interim high school principal during the early and extended maternity leave of our regular principal, he was there to support me, guide me, and help make my experience a successful one.  There were also the days he had to call me in as a parent so he could hand out some consequences for my daughter and he always did so in a way that preserved my dignity as a parent and her dignity as a student.  He rarely said it, but you always knew that he cared and valued you as a person and as a professional.

"To Teach is to Touch a Life Forever" is a familiar saying that we believe to be true, but maybe don't totally realize the implications this statement implies.  Jim touched a lot of lives in his long educational career.  And now I sit and think this evening about how precious the time is that we spend on this earth, and how we will spend that time.  You like to think as an educator, that you do make a difference.  But I would hope that everyone would want to be a positive influence in the lives of others no matter what profession was chosen.    

The things that Jim did to influence people were subtle, but had a high degree of impact, and those might be the best lessons we learn from him.  He was thoughtful and carefully considered his options before making decisions.  Yet he was curious and wanted to learn new things and how they worked.  He was often a man on a mission and he could get to the bottom of anything he set out to do, but without stirring the waters too much.  He asked a lot of questions, sometimes to the point you just wanted to shake him, but it really did cause you to think.  He was slow to anger and rarely over reacted.  It probably helped that he didn't talk without thinking first.  He had an easy smile, and a twinkle in his eye.  You always knew when he was about to share something that would make both of you laugh just a little.  He had plenty of faults, like we all do, but they never overshadowed all the good he did.  And he did that without fanfare or expectation.  

So 15 years after he retired, we gathered to say good bye to a good man, and suddenly I realized just how much he had touched my life.   So Jim, I'm glad our paths crossed in this life, and I'm also glad that I have come to appreciate and recognize how much you influenced me too.  In fact I wouldn't be sitting here at the computer right now if you hadn't taught me how to use one.   You certainly did touch my life forever and I thank you for that.  Say hello to Jane for me because she had a big influence on me as well.  You two made a great team and there are a lot of students and educators out there who are better because of the ways you touched their lives.