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My thoughts on education, improvement, and life itself.  Enjoy!

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Anticipation:  Enjoying the Moments

5/23/2015

4 Comments

 
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As my son's wedding rapidly approaches, I am reveling in the memories that flood back, the details that are being attended to, and the realization that this most anticipated event is almost here.  I can hardly wait! Enjoy the moments.  It's the little things that often turn out to be the big things.  It's the journey not the destination.  The gift is the anticipation.  We often say that the anticipation is killing us, but in reality, it's the most enjoyable part of any journey!  

We have so many things to look forward to in our lives.  Most things fill us with hope and promise of laughter, smiles, and better days.  There are certainly things that are dreaded that fill us with anticipation, but it's the joyous occasions that we hold dear in our hearts.  The anticipation of vacations, new jobs, family events, weddings, babies, and so much more, provide us with journeys we fondly remember and from which the stories of our lives emerge.

Think about how children (and adults too!) act when Christmas approaches.  The tree goes up, gifts accumulate under the tree, and the stockings hang waiting to be filled with Santa's treats.  They peek, shake packages, and giggle with delight.  When Christmas morning finally comes, they tear through packages and suddenly look around and go, "Is that all?"  It's not because they are greedy but because the anticipation has turned into reality and even though it was exciting, the reality is - there are now 354 days before it happens again.

 As a sprinter sits in the blocks at the biggest track meet of his/her life, getting ready for the run that will be over in mere seconds, he/she methodically puts every body part in the right position, breathes deeply, relaxes and waits for the gun to send him/her hurtling down the track.  They trained for this moment for days, weeks, months, maybe even years.  And just like that it's over in the blink of an eye.  So yes, the destination, the moment we've all been waiting for, is monumental, but it will be the journey - the anticipation if you will - that is remembered fondly and oh yes, almost as an asterisk, so will the results.  

Next weekend, my son and his fiance get married.  We have been looking forward to this since before they became engaged.  People moaned when they said it would be two years before the wedding occurred.  And while that seemed a long time in the future, I knew it would be over in the blink of an eye, just as the last 24 years of his life have gone by. 

Wasn't it just yesterday that my baby boy, who was due in June, waited until July to arrive so he could have a birthday in the same month as the rest of his family?   Where did the little boy go that once let Legos, Power Rangers, and Harry Potter dominate his world?  Everything he did he did well, or he didn't do it at all.  My little thinker took his time before he played sports, considered all of his options before making a decision, took only calculated risks if the reward was great enough (like agreeing to perform in solo trombone competitions and select groups so he could get that prized trigger trombone he wanted so badly), and played everything by the book.  The friends he hung out with as a 5 year old, were still his friends as a teenager, and now they will stand up with him, along with a couple of new friends he made along the way, as he marries his one true love.

My son has grown up from that neat and orderly little boy, to a neat and orderly adult.  The only real risk he's taken in his life was to give his heart to that blond, curly-haired trombone player in the K-State Marching band who turned his head and made him feel like he was over the moon.  She reeled him in (just like she did all of us) with her ready smile and caring ways.  I asked him one time what he liked about her the most and he said it was how kind she was and how she made everyone around her feel comfortable.  What a great thing to say about another person and I was proud that he valued those traits too.  No wonder he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her!

Family and friends have planned for this big event for most of these past 2 years.  I know there will be things we forgot or have to adjust at the last minute.  It will be okay.  And as my son's soon-to-be mother-in-law observed last weekend, "It doesn't really matter if every detail goes off as planned.  The important thing is that when it's done, they will be married, and I can't wait for that to happen!"   I totally agree... their marriage is the most important thing, but I can't help but breathe it all in as this leg of the journey comes to an end.  

I know I will be savoring every moment of the decorating, the rehearsal, the wedding, and the reception that follows.  I will be grateful for photos and videos that help me relive what will soon jumble in my memory.  I remember my daughter's wedding much the same way.  But as much as I wanted to be in the moment, much of it was a blur. 

I continue to look at the slide show made for the wedding and wonder where the time went.  My emotions are bubbling at the surface, ready to spill without warning.  A song, a look, or a hug may let it all pour out.  I'm okay with that.  I want to feel as much as I want to see and hear everything that goes on during this last week of preparation.  All too soon, the anticipation of this blessed event will give way to reality.  As the song notes, "This is the Moment" that I will be trying my darnedest to enjoy and savor.  And as the last song fades, the decorations fall gently to the floor, and the bride and groom steal away into the night, we will look back and smile and realize it's now time to find something new to look forward to.  In the meantime, I'll be enjoying every moment.







4 Comments

Where Did the Time Go? 

4/22/2015

1 Comment

 
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I'm feeling a lot of things these days.... joyful, grateful, sentimental, and overwhelmed at times too.  So this will probably not be the last of my blogs that have their origins in wedding plans.   My son gets married in 5 short weeks.  Where did the time go?  There are last minute details that are being taken care of  (yes, I know my list is a lot shorter than the bride's list), and some that didn't have to be last minute, but suddenly are. Wasn't it just a couple of days ago that my son proposed and they decided it would be 2 years before they would be married?  Guess what?  That time is here.  Again I ask, Where did the time go?

Pictures are a special part of our family's lives.  Every big event gets to have its "story told."  I have compiled many photo albums over the years and in the last few years have turned to digital photo books to capture the story of our lives.  Major vacations, anniversaries, milestone birthdays, graduations, and now the wedding.... all get a photographic keepsake.  We use them as reference books to pinpoint when something occurred or to clear up hazy memories.  In essence, those many volumes are family history books.  We are fortunate that our daughter has taken photography to the professional level and we can enjoy the fruits of her photographic talents.  My camera, and now my phone, have always been handy for a quick picture of what we're doing or even for a selfie now and then!   We have taken many family pictures when I set up my camera on some semi-stable object, clicked the right buttons and then ran to get positioned in the shot before the shutter clicked.  I am glad that as I get older, and my running has slowed down, the ability to turn the camera view around and take a selfie has eliminated the need to run during photos (although I still have to get my head positioned correctly - dang bifocals!).  

Some would say I'm a little obsessive.  All the double prints we made over the years are organized in boxes and labeled by individual person or family group.  It makes it handy when we need some pictures for an event.  When a tornado warning has been issued for our area, I think about the people course of action first, then how I can grab my computer, phone, and purse, but I also think about how I'm going to save a few of those precious pictures.  That is one of the blessings of digital photography and the technology that allows us to save it in a cloud (ironic that we use digital clouds for storage but real clouds form tornadoes!).  That is comforting to obsessed people like me.

Why am I focusing on photographs as a topic for my blog post?  Last weekend, my son and I spent a rainy day going through countless pictures for the 2 projects we were working on for the wedding.  As I put the picture show together, my heart filled with love, pride, and a little wistfulness with each passing photo.  I have wondered many times, aloud and to myself, where the time has gone.  The pictures reminded me of everyday memories I had forgotten, and awakened feelings I had been too busy to allow to come to the surface.  I smiled at their smiles, chuckled at parental hair styles and color, and wondered why I thought I was fat all those years ago!  (Sorry I digress! )  He took snap-chats to send to his fiance of pictures he found that were funny or cute, but they would not use.  She was supposed to be in weekend class, so this was probably a welcome distraction for her....or not! 


The pictures we selected took us on a walk through their lives, leading up to the time they met as fellow trombone players in the K-State Marching Band, and the subsequent courtship, as Paul Harvey would say, "the rest of the story." Their first picture together portrayed tentative smiles, almost forced.  Yet just a few short weeks later, those smiles reflected true happiness and the love that was growing between them.   I have seen pictures of his fiance's early life and I want to ask questions and have her tell me the stories behind those smiles and poses.  A picture comes alive when it is connected to a story.  And we deepen our connection with others with the stories we share.

I don't know how differently we would look at life if someone hadn't developed the capability to take pictures and preserve memories of loved ones, special places and events. Without these visual cues, many things would fade from our memory.   While many people have boxes with pictures thrown in them, I have been a little OCD about taking pictures, putting them in scrapbooks and now digitally storing them.  I am grateful for times like this which afford me the opportunity to spend hours simply remembering.


Photos spark interest and connect us to others.  At weddings we use pictures to bring people together, to learn more about the other family, and create new bonds.  At funerals we use pictures to comfort each other with memories of a life well-lived.  Photos can make us feel like we were there.  I have always loved looking at pictures of places I wanted to visit.  I called them my vicarious vacation photos!  As a teacher, photos help students "see" what you want them to learn, or create interest or appeal.  Textbooks and cookbooks are so much easier for us to learn from when there are pictures.  As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. 

These moments, captured by film, or digitally as we do today, are treasures. As the credit card commercial reminds us, they may even be "priceless."  Stories associated with those cherished pictures make them all the more real and strengthen the bond between the story teller and the listener.  On Sunday we honored and remembered all the musicians in our church, past and present.  Included in this celebration were pictures, and stories of those who have provided us with music each week by playing the piano, organ, or some other musical instrument.  We told stories; we sang their favorite songs; we laughed and remembered days gone by.  But then we dedicated our new electric piano that can do so many things because of the technology that makes up for the talent we lack.  With the push of a button our music can sound like an orchestra instead of a single musician.  And such is our life.  


While the photos we enjoy bring back many memories of wonderful times spent with family and friends, we can hold them close; we can remember, but we can't live in the past or the way it used to be.  It is important to remember, honor, learn from, and take the time to make those connections to our past, but equally important to recognize that life is to be lived forward.  By doing that we will make new memories and the cycle will continue.

So while I finish up on the picture show that will debut at the rehearsal dinner, I will also be thinking about the pictures I'll be looking at in 10 years or 20 years from now.  Who will be new to our family photos?  Who will be missing?  Where will we have traveled?  What goals will have been achieved?  What lessons will have been learned?  Once again I'll look back and think, "Where has the time gone?"

1 Comment

    Author

    Vicki Bechard, 
    Owner and Lead Consultant

    I express myself best when I write, even though most who know me think I talk quite a bit!  

    I'm an educator first and foremost whether my students are kids, teachers, or my own children and grandchildren.  

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