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Vicki's Blog

My thoughts on education, improvement, and life itself.  Enjoy!

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Navigating Life:  Finding Meaning

3/30/2017

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Pictureimage courtesy of clipartkid.com
After nearly 5 years, I think I'm finally starting to retire.  Well maybe slow down.  OK, maybe not really slow down, but pare down. Here's what I mean. I've come to the realization, if it doesn't get me excited then I'm more inclined to say "no" and throw myself into things that I do look forward to.  They say, find your passion then it won't feel like work.  Find meaning.  Maybe another way to say it is to find your joy.  To me, all of these things lead to quality of life whether it's full time work or retirement!

I do believe that your attitude determines how productive you can be at times and definitely how much you engage and enjoy what you are doing.  But I also know not everything is fun or inspirational so we must find meaning in order to motivate ourselves into action.   There are plenty of things in life that must be done that definitely don't ignite any excitement or passion, but the alternative is not what I want either.  So yes, I still clean my house, do laundry, mow the lawn, go to the doctor for check ups, and help others even when it's not convenient for me.  But if I manage my schedule effectively, those "have to's" don't take up all of my time either, so there is still plenty of time for the "want to's."  

I find that my age must be showing, because there's one thing I see missing in many people today.  If it's not fun or will be difficult or inconvenient, many don't see the point.  On one level I appreciate that and want learning or tasks to be meaningful and engaging.  But sometimes there are things that require us to buck up and get 'er done that will never be fun and may even be disgusting!  I think of nurses that clean up after ill, incontinent, or injured patients; or mom's that clean up the messes the family makes no matter what they are; or dads who carry out the dead mouse from the trap.  I wish I could run my life that way sometimes, just doing what's fun and enjoyable.  But on another level, I wonder if we've missed teaching our children and grandchildren the intrinsic value of work or service in terms of helping others, productivity, or how it makes us feel when a job is completed and well done.  Really it boils down to helping them see and experience meaning or relevance.  I clean because I don't like it if my house is dirty, so for me that is value and a motivating factor.  I help others because it not only makes them happy, their happiness or relief makes me happy.  

I saw this in my grandkids last weekend when a group of us from our church went to help out an area group home for students in the foster system.  They didn't know what to expect, but went along because I did my best to paint a positive picture even though I'd never been there before either, but mostly they went because "grandma asked me to" (glad I still have some influence).   If I can just get them started, they usually see the value and enjoy the experience.  When we arrived, no one had much of an idea of what to do or how to start, but once we took the first step, everyone regardless of age or ability, found something purposeful to do.  The children who lived there pitched in with those who came from other towns.  You couldn't tell who was new or who was a veteran.  My grandsons worked hard but had fun and they never complained.  When it was over, the donated food and supplies were assembled in this wonderful fort... a fun way to deliver the most basic of needs.  The people were grateful for our help and donations.  When we got in the car, my oldest grandson said, "Wow, that was fun."  I was so excited.  Then my youngest grandson piped up and said, "That was a lot of work and all that food made me hungry!"  We laughed and again, I was pleased.  They couldn't believe how fast the time flew by and were glad they came.  Helping others helps you too.  When you find your passion it doesn't feel like work at all.

My schedule is plenty full most weeks.  I print my calendar at the beginning of each month for my parents so they know where I am because they depend on me.  It saves them and me a lot of questions.  But just like the latest technology, as soon as it's made available to the public, there is an update or new version soon to follow.  My calendar is continually in a state of flux.  Retirement allows me that flexibility, but my OCD tendencies are a lot more comfortable with knowing what's next.  Ultimately, I've decided that I want my calendar to be filled with "want to's" instead of "have to's" - but I know that even the "have to's" will be something I choose to do because I choose to find meaning.  I want the time to fly by.  I want to look forward to tasks that benefit others as well as myself.  I want to have lunches with my friends, laugh at silly things, and take lots of pictures of sunsets and flowers.  To get all that done, I have to pare down a few things that no longer give me the inspiration that they once did.  Seeking new challenges, seeing new sights, and sprinkling in new things with familiar pastimes, are all on my bucket list of doing the things I love.  

I think I'm finally starting to get the hang of this retirement thing.  I don't punch a clock, but I work at things I want to do and enjoy finding ways to stay relevant and be of service to others.  Sure I still feel the pressure of some "have to's" but I know that stepping up is important too.  We never want to retire from feeling needed or valued.  Those are the reasons all of us get up each day. My goal is to be sufficiently challenged, find things to do that ignite my passion, and look for the silver lining every day... so maybe I'm not slowing down at all... just focusing on what matters.  In reality, there is so much to do...and so little time!   What will you focus on?  Join me on this journey as I continue to seek meaning that leads to  finding my joy!

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Looking Forward

12/27/2016

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"Many of the conversations I have about the future are focused on the past.  People say they want to talk about their future, but they are fighting with their past." ​
                                                                            - Dan Rockwell, Leadership Freak
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I read the above quote this morning and suddenly the writer's block that has been dogging me for the past several months, went from fog to peaks of sunshine.  A breath of fresh air came my way and I could think about writing again.  And just like that, the past was no longer holding me back.

I'll be honest with you.  2016 has been a year of ups and downs that have both inspired me and challenged all that I believe to be true.  I am dismayed by the way public education and educators are viewed by politicians and wealthy business people, but heartened at the state election results that give us hope again in Kansas.  I won't even talk about national and world events and politics which leave me bewildered and shaking my head about the way we talk to and treat each other.  It would be easy to keep bringing up the past and dwelling on what might have been or the way it used to be, but there are things we can't change unless we look forward and change our own way of thinking and behaving.  I used to remind my players that we can only control what we can control... and that starts with my own beliefs and actions, one day at a time.

I was thrilled with the successes our professional learning organization in Kansas (LFKS) has experienced this year, and that I have been an active part of these giant steps forward. We spent a lot of time wringing our hands and wondering what had happened to our organization before we made some tough decisions, and started down the road with some new ideas and practices.  And with hard work, they are beginning to pay off.  Leadership Freak blogger Dan Rockwell points out that "hanging onto the past produces doubt and fear" and keeps us from moving forward, changing for the better, and/or forgiving ourselves for past transgressions.  The past has it's place in our lives as well as our future. It provides us with experience, lessons of what to do and what not to do, knowledge and skills.  But it is not to be lived in, nor used as an excuse for present behavior or situations.  We do have to reconcile our past - honoring the valuable, and putting to rest the pain of mistakes and lost opportunities.  But the past is in the rear view mirror for a reason.  It is from whence we came; a place to visit not to dwell.  

While Rockwell's blog is focusing on leadership and team building, one of the questons for consideration that he makes is:  "How does the way you are thinking about yourself and others reflect the future you aspire to build?"  Our thinking matters.... about our own strengths and limitations, as well as those who we work with and spend our time with each day.  Surrounding oneself with people who support us, believe in us, provide meaningful feedback, as well as make us laugh and enjoy life, will improve our outlook and make the future more appealing than the past.  As Hans F. Hansen notes, "People inspire you or they drain you."  That statement leads to one resolution to make and keep every year - put as much distance as you can between those who hold you back or tear you down, and surround yourself with those who challenge and inspire you.

In my work with educators and even within our church, I often emphasize that there's a big difference between knowing and doing.  We often know better.  We just often don't DO better.  I taught PE for many years, and yet have failed miserably this fall in staying with my exercise plan.  You realize that when you're excited that the "active minutes" your Fitbit recorded while shopping at Walmart was the best you've done all week.  Along with that lack of self-discipline, I found myself doing more mindless activities that are fun but a waste of time, which led me to complain that I was behind, and wishing I had more time to get things done.  My calendar is definitely full with responsibilities to both my family and the organizations with whom I am involved, but is there no time to take care of my health and physical well being?  I'm pretty sure the games I play on my phone won't suffer if I take 30 minutes from that activity and get back on the treadmill. So what actions will I take that will inspire me to move forward? I can think of a big one for me:  Accountability.  I don't necessarily like to be coached, but I do like looking at data.  If I schedule it, and then record it, I will have lots of internal motivation to not let those data points go unfilled.  And voila!  I will see progress.   I see lots of people trying new programs, supplements, and other things to improve their lives, or some, like me, just wanting to walk everyday - so I say: Go For It!  Pick what works for you and stick to it.  It's the lifestyle change that makes the biggest difference, not the shakes or pills that you take.  It's a mindset where you choose to take action and think positively, whether prompted by a program you believe in, or the way you look at yourself.  The biggest detractor from action is how much we talk about action.  So my advice to myself is to stop talking (or writing at this moment) and start DOING!

Again, in my work with educators and within our church, I also facilitate how to effectively create and mangage change so that the goals are successfully implemented.  I can definitely say that practicing what I'm preaching would be a great step forward for me at this time.  I borrow Simon Sinek's work around beginning with the "WHY" before any change is implemented.  Why is it important?  Why would I want to do this?  Then moving to What will I accomplish if I implement this change? What benefit will occur with this change?  And finally, How will I turn these goals into actions?  When I find my why, I find my passion, and the transition from knowing to doing becomes more urgent and fulfilling.  

This is not a blog about New Year's resolutions, but about getting focused on what matters while letting go of past bad habits and moving from knowing to doing.  Don't you worry, I'll take plenty of time to enjoy my free time, write more often, and read those books that were on my list to Santa.  But I'm doing one more thing for me.   While I'm still taking care of and being there for others, I'm going to take care of myself too.  And that tug of war with past bad habits and the things I'd like to achieve will go down as a win for me if I stop talking and start doing.  So I'm off to the treadmill to take the road less traveled.  You gotta start somewhere! 

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Back to School Part 1: Don't Take Anything for Granted

7/31/2014

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At the recent Big 12 Football Media day, K-State's renowned and beloved coach, Bill Snyder, was cautiously optimistic about the upcoming season. For Snyder, this is a rare admission.  But it was quickly countered with a recurring message, "don't take anything for granted." He specifically referred to talent, the opponent, summer workouts, performance levels, and living on past success.  Not only is that good advice for his football team and the frenzy of purple-bleeding fans, but for each of us individually too.  We get too comfortable, too used to winning, and then boom - a North Dakota State team walks on the field and steals a victory, or the person you always counted on leaves (or worse) and you didn't get a chance to tell them how much you appreciated them, and now you are left with a lot of what ifs.

School starts in a few short weeks.  Teachers report sooner than that and Administrators are probably back at work this week.  Stores are loaded with school supplies and kids and parents are eagerly waiting to see how this new year will go.  Snyder's advice to his team "to not take anything for granted" about the upcoming season also applies to educators, students, and parents about the upcoming school year, and really, to all of us about life in general.  We take for granted here in the Kansas that everyone has an opportunity to go to school, that most people can afford school supplies, and that there will be enough quality teachers to staff every classroom.  But recent lessons from the political front have demonstrated to us that if we sit on the sideline, those things we take for granted may just be taken.

Teachers and coaches should not take for granted that what worked (or didn't work) last year will have the same results this year.  In a couple of weeks, a whole new group of students walks through the door or steps on the field.  Sure the faces may be familiar, but life has happened to these students since you last saw them, and those experiences will shape their attitudes, their hopes and dreams, and how they respond to the task of learning.  Bodies change.  Maturity happens (or doesn't) and those same students we last saw in May, have a new set of variables for us to deal with.  We should take the time to listen to what students have to say and what they are not saying.  We should get to know them as people first and students second.  We will need to see them for what they can do this time around and not assume that they will act and perform in the same way we remember.  Most of all, we should challenge them to dig deeper, to ask more questions, and to persevere when learning is hard or obstacles block their path.  We cannot assume or take for granted that they will know how to do any of these things well without our guidance or support.

I had a very good basketball team one season, more than a few years ago, that achieved state rankings and notoriety (levels of team success that our school was unaccustomed to at the time).  The following year, we returned the majority of our varsity players, so expectations were high.  But by the mid-season tournament, we were just a .500 team.  I blamed myself as much as anything because I had allowed them to rest on their laurels because I, as everyone else did, assumed we would just pick up where we left off.  We took winning for granted because we had been successful the year before because we had many of the same players.  But during that tournament we had a meeting of the minds and emerged with a new resolve to no longer take for granted that the success of the past would automatically propel us to success in the future.  We redoubled our efforts in practice, revised some strategies, and changed our attitude from one of entitlement, to one of humility and renewed our sense of purpose.  And that effort, that change in our thinking, produced the results we had expected all along.  But it didn't happen until we stopped taking things for granted and started doing the things we needed to do to  achieve the goals we had set forth.  That is the message Coach Snyder was trying to convey.

Appreciating what we have, the people who are dear to us in our lives, or the people that provide us with needed services is something we should be cognizant of every day.  But many times we fall short.  Taking something or someone for granted happens because we get comfortable.  We get accustomed to "the way things are" or we fail to see what is right before our eyes.  I think of how excited I am to see the sun after several days of rain, and how I miss the rain after weeks of hot dry weather. We do this with people too.  We go about our daily lives and fail to show or tell the people around us how much we appreciate them, need them, and love them.  We assume.  We get busy and distracted.  And we take them for granted.   

So how will we change?  It usually takes a "North Dakota State" moment, or a loss of someone close to us before we wake up and realize what we knew all along.  So purposeful planning, a resolve to not overlook the details, and the commitment to do the work and effort required, is step one.  Step two is to have an attitude of gratitude.  Notice what is all around you:  what you have, nature's gifts to us, and who is important in your life.  And Step three is simply reflected in Nike's slogan - "Just Do It!"  Getting beyond taking things or people for granted requires action on our part.  We can't "hope" it will happen, we must make it happen.

I have high hopes for the upcoming school year.  There is nothing greater than the optimism and excitement that greets every teacher and student on the first day of school.   It is up to us to ensure that we leave no stone unturned, no job undone as we work toward success both in and out of the classroom.  Assume nothing.  Plan purposefully and do what needs to be done.  As an exclamation point to this idea, I'll leave you with one last thought from Coach Snyder's interview, 

"I know what we have capabilities of being and whether or not we can reach that level or not is dependent upon a lot of things, and the biggest thing is not taking anything for granted." 




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Bridging the Gap Between Knowing & Doing

6/11/2014

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When I was a kid, I had a bad habit of saying, "I know" when my dad would talk to me about something.  He would then say to me, "Well if you know, then why aren't you doing it?"  How often do we "know" but fail to "do?"

After spending the morning in a planning meeting with the executive director of Learning Forward (a professional learning organization for educators), I began to think about the bridge between knowing and doing.  She challenged us as a state organization to get busy, with no excuses, and move from knowing to doing in order to impact the direction of professional learning for educators in our state.  Schools and organizations are notoriously slow to change because we often don't want to leave our comfort zones or fail to provide the necessary education and support to facilitate effective implementation of the desired change.  But schools are not alone in this problem.

I think about how many times we know better, but either don't do what we know we should, or do nothing at all!  The other day when I went to teach my college class, it was seriously raining, yet there were so many cars who didn't have their lights on!  In Kansas, it's a state law to turn on your lights if you are using your windshield wipers.  There are blinkers on every vehicle to signal your intent to turn, yet so many drivers fail to do this simple step.  All these things are designed to keep us safe, to let the other drivers know you're around or your intention to make a change, and yet although we "know," we don't follow through with the "do."

Sometimes we "know" a lot of stuff, but we don't know when or how to use that information.  When we know how to do something and when to do it, then we are applying our knowledge and skills.  The knowledge becomes more than useless trivia, it becomes useful.  When we ask students to do more than memorize and perform rote recall, we are deepening their understanding because now they can actually use what they know.

Doing requires sufficient motivation to act.  No one can make you do anything!  So maybe the first thing we should examine is WHY do we avoid the "doing?"  Sometimes it's because doing means we will become accountable or responsible.  Doing means we have to stop gathering information and move forward. Doing might mean we make a mistake.  Doing makes us uncomfortable when it's not what we usually do!  We know we should be exercising and eating healthy choices and portions.  But we often do - or fail to do - what we know to be the right thing.  Doing may require some discipline on our part, and sometimes it just isn't fun.

But doing is also active and engaging!  Doing makes us feel useful and worthwhile!  The more we do the more experience we gain and the more confidence we build.  Talking about doing something happens all the time and is usually just an exercise in futility.  Letting others do it for you makes you feel helpless or unworthy and offers you no investment.  But doing WITH others is also beneficial too.  No one expects you to do it alone.  Doing requires you get dirty, sweaty, and involved.  And in the end, you can smile and say "I/we did it!"

So instead of just thinking about it, or talking about it, or know you probably should, - just get up and do it!   Cross that bridge from knowing to doing and see what results you get on the other side!   

                                                              **************************

Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and putting one's thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world. 
                                                                     Johan Wolfgang von Goethe, German poet


Action alleviates anxiety.
                                   B.J. Gallagher, Power of Positive Doing


Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
                                                                         Victor Kiam, businessman


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Bloom Anyway

4/17/2014

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The mounds of daffodils and tulips were brimming with buds, had just started blooming around our yard this past weekend while temperatures soared into the 70's.  But of course, we live in Kansas, so they were not shocked early Tuesday morning when temperatures dipped into the 20's.  These are tough flowers, ready to face whatever challenges Mother Nature sends their way.  I thought about covering them, but did not.  I hoped they would make it through.  I hoped they would bloom anyway.  The temperatures rebounded quickly, only to be followed the next day by a howling wind, with gusts big enough to move vehicles on the road, send trash cans rolling out into the street, and whip those new blooms into frazzle.   But today, with calm winds on a cool, partly sunny, spring day, the daffodils and tulips continue to open new beautiful yellow and red blooms, denying the Kansas weather victory despite it's best shot.  They did as I had hoped and bloomed anyway.

And isn't this the way many of us face life?  What takes down one person, is just another obstacle to hurdle for another.    Some of us just bloom anyway.

Kansas educators have taken some real gut punches in the last few weeks as politics reared its ugly head in the legislature.  There were some wins for kids and teachers alike, but they came with a price.  But when it was all said and done (and really it's still not done), teachers went to school and taught their students, coaxing them to bloom, just like the do every day.  Political battles may take their toll, but we still are able to experience the true beauty of teaching and learning.  It would be nice to make more money, have general support from the public, and have tenure to protect us from undeserving criticism, but no matter what, we are educators first and we will find a way to bloom anyway.

As a teacher, I saw many students over the years demonstrate their ability to persevere and stand tall despite the odds stacked against them.  There is no greater joy for a teacher than to see a smile spread across a child's face when they finally get something that has been difficult to understand; or when hard work pays off for an athlete so they are able to feel the joy of a personal best and perhaps earn a medal too.  Some kids give up easily while others dig down deep and find a way to bloom.  Maybe they weren't as smart or talented as their peers; maybe no one supported them like they should have, but somehow, some way, they found a way to bloom anyway.

I see this same thing happening right now with people that I know.  Some are fighting cancer.  Some are dusting themselves off from a failed relationship, loss of a job, or other disappointment.  Some just can't figure out why today, of all days, that tire went flat on their way to work.  But I see their determination to emerge from these pitfalls and sometimes tragic events.  I see them find ways to bloom amid frustration and bad news.  I see them deepen their faith and offer comfort to others, whose plight might be just as dire as their own.  We  win when we choose to stand strong and bloom anyway despite overwhelming odds.

It is the resiliency of the tulips and daffodils that inspire us during their fight to give us a burst of color as we emerge from the grays of winter.  It's easy to bloom during those springs when temperatures are warm and rains fall generously.  It is in those times of personal challenge, when others may have said it couldn't be done or stood in our way, that makes us appreciate our efforts to stand strong and bloom anyway.  

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March Madness:  Change Happens!

3/12/2014

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You must live in Kansas (or at least the Midwest) if in one 24 hour period you experience 75 degree temperatures, rain, sleet, snow, 50 mph winds and below freezing temperatures.  All this means is that change is in the air.  But even if you know it's coming and want it to come, change is never easy.  There is no easy button to push or switch to flip.  We must endure the tug of war that spring and winter have every March, sometimes extending to May!  But wait!  Those changes will be so good for us and give us a new lease on life!  Who doesn't look forward to green grass, sunshine and warmer temperatures!

There's that word again - change - that keeps cropping up in my blogs.  It's on my mind a lot lately since it seems like the more you want things to stay the same, the more they change.  Kansas schools are going through a lot of changes with new curriculum, new evaluations, technology, and new accreditation requirements.   Change is happening in my family as a graduation is looming and a wedding will follow before long.  Change is happening in our church as we try to determine the best way to serve the needs of our congregation and the community too. Heck, people change too as they age.  It's fun to see my grandsons change and grow up, but when you get to be my age, not all those changes are good.  As a result, I must make some adjustments in my exercise and eating routines to account for some unwanted, age-related changes.  Most of the time change makes things better, but it is all too apparent that change also makes us uncomfortable, because that darn box we live in just feels so right!  


March is one of those months that is full of change, dramatic turns, and tests of our resolve.  Even the word "march" reminds us that when people want change, they often "march" and carry signs to demonstrate their need for something different to happen.  In schools during March, from preschool to the collegiate level, you find exhausted teachers and students, and probably parents too.  State assessments and mid-terms are happening.  In an effort to deal with their stress, they are looking forward to spring break - a change in their routine - and even that can be stressful!  

Daylight Savings Time is another example of familiar change.  In all but two states (Arizona and Hawaii), we go through the annual rituals of "spring forward and fall back," ostensibly to get the most out of the available daylight.  Fall back doesn't feel so bad.  We go to bed and get an extra hour of sleep.  But spring forward?  Seriously?  We all need to have a spring break to get used to this one hour difference.  Ironically the time change used to occur around April 1st - perhaps the biggest practical joke of all time?  Now we have backed it up a couple of weeks so it occurs right when Ol' Man Winter and Spring Thaw are competing for domination.  So if the weather doesn't give us enough fits with temperature extremes and indecision as to whether we should wear pants or shorts, or take along a jacket or a heavy coat, then we are dealing with sleep disorders while our biological clocks adjust to the change brought on by turning our visual clocks forward one hour.  So even though we know this change is coming, and we want it to come, it is still hard for us to transition smoothly into a new season.

If change is inevitable, then what can we do to make our transitions easier? 

1.  Embrace the idea that change is going to happen.  Being open to change in the first place helps your mindset accept change as a necessary course of action for success.  Change must happen if we are to progress.  How you respond to that change will ultimately determine how smoothly you transition to the new behavior, routine, or situation that results from the imposed change.  Plan to be uncomfortable for a while.  Plan for obstacles and failures that may happen when the change first starts.  Remember that fear of change locks us into mediocrity which is the enemy of greatness.  We often waste a lot of time and energy resisting change which keeps us from being great.

2.  Make an effort to understand why the change is necessary.   Often our resistance occurs because the answers to our "why" questions have not been resolved.  Once we understand why, which includes the purpose or reason, acceptance is easier because we can square it with our thinking.  "How and What" become easier to implement and achieve if we understand the motive.

3.  Focus on doing things that will lead to the desired outcome, and on the benefits that will potentially occur once the change has been implemented.  This mindset goes along with the idea that you get what you expect or what you think about most.  My dad used to tell me, when I learned to drive, that I had to look down the road to see what was coming, and not just focus on what was right in front of me so I would be ready for whatever happens.  It also helps to keep our eye on the prize.  We've all seen races where the runner keeps looking back over his/her shoulder only to be caught or to stumble....those doubts and fears distract us.  Hope and optimism cheer us on and keep us focused on what is in front of us!  Expect success!

So this March think of all the changes that happen every day in your life and about the changes that need to happen in your life.  Through what lens will you look at those changes?  How will you respond? Make your March Madness be about basketball games instead of the craziness that often overwhelms us during the change process. Expect change and expect great results!




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Using Fear to Succeed

3/6/2014

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I woke up early this morning - too early in fact - thinking about fear.  Not the blood-curdling, life-threatening kind of fear, or the irrational fears that phobias produce, but fear that oozes into our lives every day.  Fear of the unknown; fear of failure or disappointment; doubts that comes from the "what ifs" that often occupy our thoughts.  So how can we harness our fears or doubts and turn something potentially negative into a road map for success?

Fear Is Not to Be Feared 

Fear keeps us safe.  It gives us parameters to work within.  It forces us to plan ahead for obstacles and consequences.  Fear of potential consequences is what keeps most people from breaking the law/rules. It's why you suddenly slow down when you see a cop even though you weren't speeding.  It doesn't keep you from driving anywhere, but it does make you more vigilant.  Fear should produce respect for boundaries and yet not limit how we operate within the expectations. 


Fear can also be a source of motivation.  It helps us set goals to avoid those failings we realize could happen.  It helps us seek the knowledge and skills we need to be successful so we can avoid failure or the consequences of not changing/improving.


Fear is a problem when it paralyzes us and keeps us from moving forward.   When we analyze why some people resist change, it is often grounded in the fears they have of their own personal misunderstanding, shortcomings, or the unknown.  It may be compounded by past failures too.  Fear blinds us to the possibilities that exist and won't let us get past the "yes buts" that plague our thoughts.  Fear whispers in our ear that it's OK to be safe and never OK to take a risk.  And when we listen without considering possibilities, fear's grip on us becomes even tighter.

When fear controls us we put up walls; we resist assistance; we make excuses; we blame; we dwell on the darkness instead of the light.  Can't and won't become 4-letter words that dominate our thoughts and conversations.  How do we get our fear under control?

Knowledge is Power
My son is a smart man and of course started out as a smart little boy.  But he had one trait that was going to keep him from being successful in life and that was the fear of trying new things.  In some cases it was fear of failure, but mostly it was just fear of the unknown. Anxiety plagued him from trying new foods to even playing games that were supposed to be fun!  Eventually after a lot of support from his teachers, and encouragement from his family and friends, he was able to understand that if he learned enough about each situation, he could be persuaded to try it.  Baby steps.  Where food once was something he rarely experimented with, he now loves to cook and try new things!  He loves the "chemistry" of food and spice combinations so suddenly food isn't a scary thing now.  Of course there are still things he won't eat, but he isn't going to starve either!

To gain this knowledge, you have to ask the right questions and do your homework.  Consider the options available.  Ask what will happen if I don't do this?  What could happen if I do?  What do I already know? How much do I have to know to get started and will I be able to increase my knowledge as I progress?  But ultimately, action becomes necessary because if you do nothing you will gain nothing.

Focus on What You CAN DO Rather Than on What You Can't Do
Your thoughts shape your destiny.  We often sell ourselves short, not feeling like what we have to offer (in terms of skills, abilities, talents, etc.) will make a difference to others. Sometimes we find a task may be asking more of us than what we think can accomplish.  So to overcome these self-doubts we must focus on what we CAN DO.   One way is to turn the job into manageable chunks that seem less overwhelming which can also provide us with success points along the way.   In addition, we must learn to trust the confidence that others have in us, and be willing to share or utilize our talents in a small way initially until we can learn to appreciate what we have to offer on a bigger scale.  For example on a large project we can offer to be a piece of the puzzle because helping the team be successful will allow us to feel good about our contribution, which in turn might lead to a bigger contribution the next time.

When we do stumble, we must reflect on the experience and find ways to improve or new ways to tackle the issue at hand.  Failure only comes when we fail to learn or fail to try again.  As Thomas Edison once said, "I have not failed.  I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work!"

Implications for Educators and Parents
Understanding the role that fear plays in our lives is critical to our success.  As parents and educators, we must find ways to guide our children/students through the choppy waters of life that can be scary at times.  We must provide them with the necessary knowledge and skills that give them a chance to be successful; let them practice in safe situations; and allow them to fail and learn from their mistakes.  It is natural to want to protect our children or students from the unpleasantness of life, but if we always "save" them from failure, they will never learn to use those opportunities as learning experiences, and fear of failure will become an even greater issue.

As I noted in my last blog, optimism springs from hope.  Too much fear squelches optimism and hope.  We must find ways to build trust and have faith.  Building a background of knowledge and skills, and focusing on what CAN be done will help to keep fear in check and allow us to consider the many possibilities that exist for us in all that we do.   And then above all, Never, Never, Never Give Up!




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Optimism:  What You Believe is Possible

2/27/2014

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Have you watched the Lego movie that has been in theaters recently?  I watched it with my grandsons, thinking that I was doing them a favor, when really that movie did me a favor.  It had a great plot for kids - but also for the grown ups that took them to see the movie (good idea movie makers!).  The underlying premise:  You'd be amazed at what you can accomplish if you believe you can. Recognizing that often comes when someone else believes in you or notices what you have done.  As a parent, grandparent and educator, this is gold.

When Accomplishment Leads to Optimism
Today as the sun shines into my office, I am feeling like I am feeling accomplished and ready to tackle another project!  There is a whole new attitude exuding from me!  Why you ask?  What did I do that was so life-altering?  

Did I get a new job?  No - nothing that big.  But I finally completed a job that I have put off for a long time - because I guess I didn't have the necessary motivation to tackle it!   I have finally re-sorted the books on my shelves that I so deliberately put in alphabetical order by author when I first moved in a couple of years ago.  Why is this a big deal?  Because I look for TOPICS not authors, so I have had to look through every book to find the appropriate resource unless I know who the author is.  Today's little accomplishment has organized my office, made resources more available and useful, and will help my friend who needs some information from my wealth of resources.  Yes, her request was the necessary motivation I needed to overcome my procrastination.  She believed that I could help her and suddenly the state of my resources took on new importance and made me not only want to do the job, but do it now!  I feel proud, energized and ready for the next project!

Believe In Me so That I Can Believe in Me
So you think it might be silly to blog about such as reorganizing my books?  I think not.  Optimism and hope are reasons to get out of bed each day regardless of our age or vocation.  Without those things we feel unmotivated and irrelevant.  Every day I walk into my office, look around, shrug and think I'll reorganize another day.  What does it matter?  It's just me in my office.  Everyone else can stay out.  But when someone else needs you, then suddenly, it matters - because what I am doing matters to that person, and as a result, matters to me.

Relationships are important to the quality of everyone's existence.  We rely on others to help us see more clearly, provide us with feedback, to share our hopes and dreams, and to help us feel validated or relevant.  What messages are we sending to others?  Do we let them know we believe in their ability to succeed, and recognize their progress?  Our words and actions let others know that we believe in them or not; that we value them or not; that we support them or not.  

The Power of Positive Intent
What is Positive Intent?  It is not merely optimism.  It is a belief of ability, that what can happen will happen, of expectation rather than failure.  It can be held by the individual, by others about the individual, or by groups.  It's what you think about, how you phrase your self talk or what you say out loud to others.  It is an expectation.  It's a big deal and it sets people up to succeed... or not.

Establishing expectations is a way of providing someone with belief in their ability to succeed.   It is positive and intentional.  You can... you will...  In school, we provide rubrics so students can guide their own learning and know when they have met the expectations.  In everyday life, we provide parameters of time and quality to do the same thing.  

Allowing someone to do a job independently helps that person to believe in themselves because you "allowed them" to do it on their own.  Give them the tools to succeed but don't do the work for them.  Watch their face light up as they accomplish what they set out to do.  Remember the first time you tied your shoes, rode a bike, swam across the pool, or finished that first 5K, ALL BY YOURSELF?  It's that feeling of satisfaction that provides us optimism for the next job at hand.

As individuals, we have the ability to regulate our own thoughts, control our motivation, and ultimately our actions.  Like the Little Engine that Could,  "I think I Can" gets us through a lot of tough situations, but may not be enough.  Without the feedback or reinforcement from others, we are often unkind to ourselves.  We fail to appreciate what we can do or realize how much we matter.  Humans rely on reinforcement.   We don't need external reinforcement as much as we need to feel appreciated and valued.  And with those feelings comes the attitude of optimism and hope.  Life is worth living!
 
Are you the sunshine that someone needs to emerge from their gloomy day, the encouragement they need to take the next step?  Make a difference for others and for yourself.  Find a way to focus on the positives and share that optimism with others.  No one wants to be irrelevant.  I have another friend that closes every workshop by saying, "You matter."   I truly believe that and I challenge you to help make someone else feel like they matter too!


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The Purpose of Passion:  What Can  Schools Learn from the Pro Bowl Make Over?

1/27/2014

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You don't have to be a football fan to learn from the National Football League.  The Pro Bowl has been the showcase for the best talent in the NFL.  And yet, it was almost cancelled for the lackluster, in fact embarrassing, performances that became the norm the last few years that didn't excite players or viewers.  Even the great Peyton Manning could only partially motivate the players to step up and give the fans a good show last year, so changes had to be made or it was going away.  And this year it appears at first glance that it worked.  So while I enjoyed the game last night, I kept wondering,  what can schools and educators learn from this much needed turnaround?

Before changes could be made, questions needed to be asked.  What was the purpose of the Pro Bowl?  Why was the Pro Bowl (once a competitive game of talent vs. talent) becoming a backyard game of touch football?  Where was the passion?  Did it happen because the game was moved up to fill the void between the last play-off game and the Super Bowl and no Super Bowl players could participate?  Was it because the contracts of highly paid players have taken away the monetary incentive to play to win?  Was the venue (Hawaii) too much like a vacation?  Was it because there was no "reason" to play well except for personal pride?  (ex: Baseball plays for home field advantage in the World Series)  Or are all players today just self-serving thugs and don't care about the intrinsic values of performing at a high level no matter what?

Except for the last one, which was a facetious jab at a minimal few (who are most likely NOT Pro Bowl players), there is probably some merit in each of these questions.  It was exciting to see that the solution was to not to make wholesale changes of the content (football), not provide more monetary incentives (that would not have been meaningful), but to change the delivery system.  The old AFC vs. NFC divisional rivalry didn't seem to be enough any more, so each team was created in a "draft" format which led to new combinations:  participants would play with and against different players - even teammates!   They put in some new rules - a way to try something new in a lower stakes environment.  They included rewards for great offensive performances and defensive performances which gave everyone something to shoot for.... and the award was a meaningful man toy - a shiny new truck!  Just these few simple changes made football relevant (fun) again for the players and the results were just what they hoped for - a higher level of competition in a game that could truly showcase the ability and skills of these very talented athletes!  Something new and relevant, created in a purposeful way, ignited passion and elevated the quality of the performance!  Everybody wins!

So what is the take away for educators?  Don't we have talented students who do not do well in our school settings or under perform on the high stakes tests that we require of everyone?  We ask ourselves why?  Sometimes it feels like they don't care. Maybe there is a disconnect between what we value, how we teach the content, and how learning is assessed.  So we must ask the hard questions -  Did we focus on results instead of the learning?  Is the learning relevant and thought-provoking?  When was the last time we did something new for the right reasons?  Did students lose their passion (or never find it) because we we failed to make the learning or the assessment meaningful?  How did we help our teachers learn and apply new instructional strategies to address the changing student culture?  As we examine our educational offerings for educators and students, we must consider what would be the most effective changes to implement if our purpose was to ramp up the quality of the the teaching that would positively impact student learning and student results.  In other words, improve the relevance and the rigor to increase the results.

Learning designs are delivery (instructional) methods that make the acquisition of knowledge and skills more efficient, effective and appealing (relevance).  What is the best way to produce the desired understanding of the content?  How do you know?   Are we finding ways to enhance the talents of all students so that they can demonstrate (apply) their understanding of the content?  Are we finding ways to help all students care about learning and showcasing their understanding in the best way possible?  Are we supporting educators in their learning that will translate to the classroom?  Are we relying on old ways to produce new results? Just as the Pro Bowlers seemed to not care until the game became more meaningful, perhaps the lackluster educational performances that we see are the result of an absence of making the necessary changes to the learning designs for both educators and students!

Solutions?  How about including more authentic learning and assessment.  Make it real!  The hands-on, practical experiences that many of us "oldies" had at home, back when we were kids, don't exist for many of our students today.  Society as we know it has changed with the influx of technology and the huge amounts of information that are available at the click of a button or touch of a screen.  We must teach them to think; to problem solve; to use the technology to work for us as we create and dig deeper, rather than just make everything faster.  All of these things make learning more meaningful and will result in a higher level of engagement. Consider the video games kids play and the many layers each player must uncover or build upon to achieve the goal.  This is an example of great thinking and problem solving using the knowledge and skills they have acquired over time.  Now we must help students bridge that understanding with that of the important educational content and skills that will help shape their future.   While memorizing is an important tool, it is not a meaningful end of learning, and one we have relied on much too often to assess understanding.  Knowing what to do with and when to use the ideas, skills, and concepts that we have learned is the key to uncovering the talents each of us possesses.  This must be learned by doing not memorizing.  

So whether you are a Pro Bowler with great talent, a struggling player, or somewhere in between, there is much to unlock and discover in the world where we learn, work, and live.  The key is to make it real - to provide incentives through the delivery system - to make the participation in the learning and the assessment of that learning meaningful.  Make that your next project, educators.  How will you change your school or classroom to make it an event in which students can't wait to participate?  Remember the lesson of the NFL.... they didn't throw out the Pro Bowl, but they tweaked it just enough to make it meaningful and accessible for all.  Our challenge is to create relevance and rigor to ignite (or rejuvenate) passion, and that folks, is a winning combination!

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What Are We Creating? 

1/16/2014

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"Create a life you can't wait to live."  This quote by Zig Ziglar says so much to me about our outlook, our passion, and our willingness to plan and act in a way to make that happen.  

Notice that the first part of this statement is about the action of creating - not about wishing it to happen or expecting others to make it happen for us.  We can be inspired by our own dreams and the encouragement of others, but each of us creates our present and our future by our dominant thoughts and the choices we make.  Whatever you do, wherever you live, or whatever your age, our choices determine our path.

Every action (or inaction) has a consequence - intentional or not.  Do we plan (and act accordingly) to succeed or set ourselves up for failure by failing to plan?  Do we live life with purpose and expectation of good things?  Every morning we wake up with a new opportunity to make a difference in our own life and the lives of others.  Do we take advantage of that opportunity by our intentions and our actions?  As you look in the mirror each morning, ask yourself, "What will I accomplish today?  How can I make a difference?  Who will I touch or influence?"

We must also recognize that not every plan will turn out as we intended, so we must anticipate roadblocks and be flexible when things go awry. These things don't keep us from our intended goal, but certainly may offer us a detour or a longer path.  Again, what will we do in response to these challenges?  Creating is messy. It takes time and effort.  It is much easier to buy a packaged product or follow someone else's lead, and sometimes that is OK to not reinvent the wheel. But make no mistake, SOMEONE took the time to do the creating, and we can't always assume that there will be something out there that will fill our need.  Creating does not ensure perfection, but it does give us a chance to control our own destiny.  

The action of creating should come with a vision, a plan, and ultimately a decision.  My dad used to tell me, "Not to decide is to decide."  Those are powerful words.  We can choose to sit back and wait or we can choose to move forward.  But if we wait too long or are indecisive, the results are no longer in our control.  Choosing to create takes courage.  There is no one to blame but ourselves if something goes wrong, yet the success is ours as well.  When we create our own destiny, the reward seems so much sweeter. 

Purpose requires Passion.  "Change your thoughts and you change your world."  Norman Vincent Peale offers an important perspective that must be present if we are to "create a life we can't wait to live."  If you "can't wait to live," you are excited, eager, and enthusiastic!  And your attitude is contagious.... so so choose to be positive and passionate.  There are a multitude of quotes out there that encourage us to strive to think positively, so why not choose to have an attitude that will produce positive results?  One of my favorites is "Attitude determines our altitude."   Whatever thoughts dominate our consciousness will provide the framework for us to see possibilities, to achieve, and to persevere through the inevitable challenges that come our way.  Unfortunately too many of us choose to to be discouraged, fail to start or just simply, give up.  It is an ongoing internal battle to maintain this positive outlook.  Of course there are days when we are discouraged, but choosing to find that light at the end of the tunnel gives us a place to focus besides on our present situation.  Move forward with thought, word, and deed.  Rear view mirrors in cars are an  important feature, but the windshield is bigger for a reason.

We are educators.  Change happens to us every day, every school year,  without fail.  We often have no real say over the policies and decisions (that impact our schools and classrooms) made by voters, legislatures, board members, and others despite our best efforts to influence those decisions.  But no one else controls how we respond.  Every day we have the opportunity to make a difference in spite of the changes going on around us.  Choose to be a positive part of the change.  Choose to create a classroom, school or district where everyone is excited to go to work and to learn each and every day.  It begins with you.  "Choose to create a life you can't wait to live" and then spread that passion to everyone you meet!




 

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    Vicki Bechard, 
    Owner and Lead Consultant

    I express myself best when I write, even though most who know me think I talk quite a bit!  

    I'm an educator first and foremost whether my students are kids, teachers, or my own children and grandchildren.  

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