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Vicki's Blog

My thoughts on education, improvement, and life itself.  Enjoy!

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Looking Forward

12/27/2016

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"Many of the conversations I have about the future are focused on the past.  People say they want to talk about their future, but they are fighting with their past." ​
                                                                            - Dan Rockwell, Leadership Freak
Picture
I read the above quote this morning and suddenly the writer's block that has been dogging me for the past several months, went from fog to peaks of sunshine.  A breath of fresh air came my way and I could think about writing again.  And just like that, the past was no longer holding me back.

I'll be honest with you.  2016 has been a year of ups and downs that have both inspired me and challenged all that I believe to be true.  I am dismayed by the way public education and educators are viewed by politicians and wealthy business people, but heartened at the state election results that give us hope again in Kansas.  I won't even talk about national and world events and politics which leave me bewildered and shaking my head about the way we talk to and treat each other.  It would be easy to keep bringing up the past and dwelling on what might have been or the way it used to be, but there are things we can't change unless we look forward and change our own way of thinking and behaving.  I used to remind my players that we can only control what we can control... and that starts with my own beliefs and actions, one day at a time.

I was thrilled with the successes our professional learning organization in Kansas (LFKS) has experienced this year, and that I have been an active part of these giant steps forward. We spent a lot of time wringing our hands and wondering what had happened to our organization before we made some tough decisions, and started down the road with some new ideas and practices.  And with hard work, they are beginning to pay off.  Leadership Freak blogger Dan Rockwell points out that "hanging onto the past produces doubt and fear" and keeps us from moving forward, changing for the better, and/or forgiving ourselves for past transgressions.  The past has it's place in our lives as well as our future. It provides us with experience, lessons of what to do and what not to do, knowledge and skills.  But it is not to be lived in, nor used as an excuse for present behavior or situations.  We do have to reconcile our past - honoring the valuable, and putting to rest the pain of mistakes and lost opportunities.  But the past is in the rear view mirror for a reason.  It is from whence we came; a place to visit not to dwell.  

While Rockwell's blog is focusing on leadership and team building, one of the questons for consideration that he makes is:  "How does the way you are thinking about yourself and others reflect the future you aspire to build?"  Our thinking matters.... about our own strengths and limitations, as well as those who we work with and spend our time with each day.  Surrounding oneself with people who support us, believe in us, provide meaningful feedback, as well as make us laugh and enjoy life, will improve our outlook and make the future more appealing than the past.  As Hans F. Hansen notes, "People inspire you or they drain you."  That statement leads to one resolution to make and keep every year - put as much distance as you can between those who hold you back or tear you down, and surround yourself with those who challenge and inspire you.

In my work with educators and even within our church, I often emphasize that there's a big difference between knowing and doing.  We often know better.  We just often don't DO better.  I taught PE for many years, and yet have failed miserably this fall in staying with my exercise plan.  You realize that when you're excited that the "active minutes" your Fitbit recorded while shopping at Walmart was the best you've done all week.  Along with that lack of self-discipline, I found myself doing more mindless activities that are fun but a waste of time, which led me to complain that I was behind, and wishing I had more time to get things done.  My calendar is definitely full with responsibilities to both my family and the organizations with whom I am involved, but is there no time to take care of my health and physical well being?  I'm pretty sure the games I play on my phone won't suffer if I take 30 minutes from that activity and get back on the treadmill. So what actions will I take that will inspire me to move forward? I can think of a big one for me:  Accountability.  I don't necessarily like to be coached, but I do like looking at data.  If I schedule it, and then record it, I will have lots of internal motivation to not let those data points go unfilled.  And voila!  I will see progress.   I see lots of people trying new programs, supplements, and other things to improve their lives, or some, like me, just wanting to walk everyday - so I say: Go For It!  Pick what works for you and stick to it.  It's the lifestyle change that makes the biggest difference, not the shakes or pills that you take.  It's a mindset where you choose to take action and think positively, whether prompted by a program you believe in, or the way you look at yourself.  The biggest detractor from action is how much we talk about action.  So my advice to myself is to stop talking (or writing at this moment) and start DOING!

Again, in my work with educators and within our church, I also facilitate how to effectively create and mangage change so that the goals are successfully implemented.  I can definitely say that practicing what I'm preaching would be a great step forward for me at this time.  I borrow Simon Sinek's work around beginning with the "WHY" before any change is implemented.  Why is it important?  Why would I want to do this?  Then moving to What will I accomplish if I implement this change? What benefit will occur with this change?  And finally, How will I turn these goals into actions?  When I find my why, I find my passion, and the transition from knowing to doing becomes more urgent and fulfilling.  

This is not a blog about New Year's resolutions, but about getting focused on what matters while letting go of past bad habits and moving from knowing to doing.  Don't you worry, I'll take plenty of time to enjoy my free time, write more often, and read those books that were on my list to Santa.  But I'm doing one more thing for me.   While I'm still taking care of and being there for others, I'm going to take care of myself too.  And that tug of war with past bad habits and the things I'd like to achieve will go down as a win for me if I stop talking and start doing.  So I'm off to the treadmill to take the road less traveled.  You gotta start somewhere! 

1 Comment

Lean In

1/21/2016

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PictureVeteran cats Lean In as the snow falls
I’ve been thinking about all those resolutions that people set as the New Year reveals itself and usually abandon about now.  As I look at my Facebook and Twitter feeds noting others’ resolve, I wonder what I should focus on this year.  What I see from the many shares and re-tweets is the desire to do something that matters.  Whether you want a new look, to be healthier, improve your relationships, get a new job, or to simply make a difference, there is one thread that seems to weave through all of the resolutions out there that will increases the chances of success:  Lean In.
 
What if we spent the entire year (and beyond) leaning in to whatever we set out to do?  How might our relationships improve, our understanding become deeper, and our awareness increase?  How much better would our health and fitness be if we leaned in to be more consistent with our healthy eating choices and increase our effort to exercise more?  How might the quality and quantity of our work improve if we leaned in to tap the wisdom of colleagues, work smarter, or reflect on performance before planning the next steps?  How much better would our attitudes toward each other be if we leaned in to find out a little more about the person or issue we are judging before we make statements or decisions that might not be valid?  What if we leaned in every day to simply make a conscious decision to make a difference?
 
Think of the times you want to hear or see things more clearly.  What do you do?  You lean in.  I’ve been taking my parents to their many appointments in the last few months.  I don’t know if I’ve suddenly began to talk more softly or their high priced hearing aids aren’t quite up to snuff, but I find myself leaning in so they can hear a little better.  I lean in when I take their hand or arm to steady them when they walk on uneven ground instead of walking at my normal pace which would be 20 feet in front of them.  Just as we lean in to hear better or to lend a hand, we also lean in to see better.  I love the screen option on my phone where I can “zoom in” and make the print or picture details big enough to see clearly.  It suddenly makes things more interesting or informative!  The added benefit of leaning in is a little more closeness and personal contact too. 
 
Leaning in means looking into the eyes and seeing the expressions of others.  It means having a face to face conversation when the important stuff comes up instead of a text or email.  Leaning in increases our personal contact, ownership, and empathy.  As a teacher, I would lean in as I spoke to elementary students who were half my height by squatting down to their eye level.  In meetings, sitting side by side allows you to lean in more than sitting across the desk which acts as a silent barrier.  Even the strategy of proximity to adjust behavior implies that you lean in as you walk toward the situation, not away. 
 
Relationships would be stronger if we would lean in more often.  We go about our cram-packed daily schedule and forget about the little things that make relationships thrive.  We take for granted our spouses and friends, assuming that they will continue to be there for us or pick up where we left off regardless of whether we make an effort or not.  Leaning in requires a determination on our part to do those little things that make others feel appreciated, remembered, and cared for.  We may not have time for those long dates or leisurely lunches, but a text, a note, a phone call, or a random hug makes a world of difference to not only the other person but in us too.  Lean in on a regular basis and see how that good relationship can become great again.
 
Like my cats in the picture above, we lean in to stay warm and to calm us in times of crisis. We may snuggle for warmth or comfort under a cozy blanket, or convene a meeting of like minds to resolve a situation.  Collaboration is leaning in to set and achieve goals, solve problems, or improve performance in a small group.  There is safety in numbers, but there is also comfort.  Together we achieve more (TEAM) if we lean in.
 
Leaning in also makes a difference in the success of change initiatives, events, or the organization itself. Our small local church begins our annual “Souper Bowl” on Sunday.   We collect cans of soup and pasta for area food pantries over a 3 week period ending on Super Bowl Sunday.  We have a friendly competition with a nearby church and each year collect more and more cans.  The excitement and energy of this event arises because everyone leans in – to buy soup, donate money, spread the word, and deliver the soup after it’s all over.  We walk our talk to serve others.  What if we leaned in like this the entire year for everything we do to serve our mission and community?  Could we sustain that enthusiasm and benefit from the increased attendance that comes during this time of year, and ultimately accomplish more? 
 
The Kansas State Department of Education has a new slogan that Kansans Can.  It supports the vision and mission that all students can achieve success and be college and career ready.  It won’t happen because they made a clever video or have a cute logo.  It will happen because all stakeholder groups, educators, and even students, will lean in and do the work to realize this goal.  Lean in is not an initiative, but an action.
 
With any initiative, whether it is at work, school, church, or within the community, the more you lean in, the better the result.  When I was in college, I sat on the back row, as far away from the instructor as possible in most classes.  The result was what you might imagine.  I did OK, but in no way was I leaning in to my coursework.  As I got into more difficult, albeit interesting classes, I moved closer to the action.  I achieved the best grade in one of the most challenging courses in my undergraduate work because I was in a small class, actively engaged, and spent each day after class reteaching the math part of the content to my friend who just didn’t get it.  I was in the thick of things.  That lesson helped me later on in my graduate work where I no longer was content to get by.  I leaned in to the content, worked diligently with a colleague, and was actively engaged.  The result was more than a degree, but a level of satisfaction that was much more rewarding.  As a public school teacher in the past and an adjunct instructor and consultant today, I work really hard to help my students/participants lean in and become active learners.  Leaning in isn’t something we naturally do in uncertain situations and sometimes takes a little encouragement.
 
Last of all, leaning in requires you to make an effort and accept responsibility.  It’s easy to sit on the outside and make comments or suggestions without really being involved.  It’s easy to criticize or judge others when we don’t lean in close enough to get the full context of their situation, opinions, or beliefs.  With the political season in high gear, many decisions are being made by those currently in office, and will be made by those running for office.  Lean in folks!  Be informed on the issues and stances of those you will elect by listening to and learning about all sides of the issues.  Most of all, take the time to vote.  I can’t believe how few people voted in the last Kansas statewide election and now how many people are complaining about the subsequent decisions that have been made as a result.  Lean in or be left out.
 
So regardless of the resolution you choose to pursue, or the everyday task at hand, lean in.  Get close to the action.  Make it personal.  Invite others.  Make a difference with your interest and your effort.  Then enjoy the results:  improved health, better relationships, successful events, and happier communities.   Lean In every day!

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    Author

    Vicki Bechard, 
    Owner and Lead Consultant

    I express myself best when I write, even though most who know me think I talk quite a bit!  

    I'm an educator first and foremost whether my students are kids, teachers, or my own children and grandchildren.  

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