Today was the first day of school for my grandsons.  With that comes the promise of new learning, new friends, new experiences, and new opportunities to grow physically, academically, emotionally, and socially.  As usual, the summer flies by too quickly.  Time is fleeting as we relish the moments we have, always wishing for more.  My husband and I were blessed to take them to the mountains for a trip earlier in the summer.  In the last week or so, I’ve had the pleasure to take them for some grandma field trips that included a stop or two at various playgrounds.  Each time they chose to spend most of the time on the swings.  “Will you push me grandma?” says the youngest.  “Push me higher, grandma!” says the oldest, echoed by the youngest too.
 
           Yes boys, in all ways that matter, I will push you higher.
 
I will push you to show respect to all people, living creatures, and things so that you can appreciate their value, and in turn have respect shown to you.
I will push you to be kind and compassionate, for the power of this simple act leads to greater virtues.
I will push you to make a difference so that you might lift others up and in return feel the satisfaction of knowing your words or deeds benefited another.
I will push you to say something when you see injustice or mistreatment toward others for it is when we take that first step, we can right a wrong; change the culture, and eventually the world.
I will push you to follow your faith, believing in a God that offers acceptance, grace, and forgiveness to all who seek Him.
I will push you to have courage to stand up for your convictions and do what is right when it might not be the most popular thing to do because it is then that your character is revealed.
 
I will push you to do the right thing, to make choices that are responsible, productive, and advance you toward your goals.
I will push you to be curious and continue to learn long after leaving the classroom for learning keeps us relevant and viable in an ever-changing society.
I will push you to try harder, especially when it’s difficult and you feel like giving up, for the satisfaction of completing challenging work is worth the effort.
I will push you to do your very best work every time because “if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well.” (Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield)
 
I will push and encourage you to find your passion and fulfill your dreams.
I will push you to take calculated risks and think outside the box so that you may grow and live life to its fullest.  But I will not push you into harm’s way because your safety and well-being are my top priority.
I will push you to have fun, finding pleasure in recreational and social activities that allow you to relax, recharge, and enjoy life.
I will push you to live a healthy lifestyle so that your life may be more enjoyable and productive.
I will push you to surround yourself with people who share and support your values, your goals, and your interests, but to also embrace those who differ from you so you may expand your knowledge and appreciation of other ideas, cultures, and ways of doing things.
I will push you to travel so that you may appreciate the wonderful world in which we live, and to learn about history and culture so that you may better understand your own legacy.
I will push you to find common ground with others so that you may work together and have amicable relationships personally, within your community, and in your chosen field.
 
Yes boys, I will push you higher… in the swing so we can laugh and enjoy our time together, and in life so you can reach your full potential and become a productive and caring adult.  I will push you to fly and soar like eagles, achieving greatness, but reminding you to return home to the ones you love and who love you.  I will push you as long as I am able, but I will always have your back until I take my last breath.
 
“                     Push me higher, Grandma”…. You bet I will.

​It’s Monday morning and as I open my news feed today, I won’t see the good morning greetings, pictures of beautiful flowers, birds, or the Amish countryside of Ohio that always made me smile.  I will have to find another place for the latest scanner report or local news.  No longer will I get emails telling me of current events, links to articles or obituaries, or funny stories of days gone by. This weekend, one of my favorite Facebook friends got her wings. 
 
A tear slid quietly down my cheek as I stifled a gasp of “oh no!” when I read that news Sunday morning.  Gone is someone who never failed to brighten my day, like my posts, or comment on my blogs.  But while her family and many in our community will mourn and miss her, I can’t help but be happy too.  Gone is her pain as she breathes freely again.  Gone is her loneliness since she has now been reunited with children and others who passed before her that she has sorely missed.  She may be gone, but she will never be forgotten.
 
Margie was someone that I knew from our local Threshing Bee years ago when my dad used to announce the parade.  They were friends and she called him “Herbie,” when no else dared to do that.  She was part of my mom’s “club” that shared meals and laughs and an occasional field trip each month.  She was on my husband’s mail route, consequently they knew each other too.  So for most of my adult life, I knew of her, but I didn’t really know her until we became friends on Facebook several years ago.  And while I’m sure I don’t know her as well as others do, I have so appreciated her ever since. 
 
Some people talk about making a difference and some people just do it.  You could count on Margie to share beautiful pictures, make comments on your posts, or ask questions so she got the straight scoop.  She made you feel like you mattered, even on social media.  You don’t have to make a big splash to make a difference.  It’s the little things that warm another’s heart or puts a smile on their face.  To that end, we all have been blessed by the difference Margie made in our lives.
 
When she was required to take oxygen 24/7 several months ago, it would curtail how often and where she would be able to get out, which was frustrating to her and her previously active lifestyle.  She wondered aloud on Facebook what she would do “trapped” at home.  So many of us encouraged her to use her computer to stay in touch with the world and keep sharing those things upon which we all had come to depend.  And she did… right up until the last day.
 
I have used The Dash, a poem by Linda Ellis, in previous blogs, and in lessons and devotionals at church.  What will you do with that “dash” between the day of your birth and the day of your death?  As we look back, we come to realize that it’s the days and years in between that truly define us as Ellis notes, 
          “For that dash represents all the time that she spent alive on earth
        and now only those who loved her know what that little line is worth.
         For it matters not how much we own, the cars…the house…the cash…
          What matters is how we live and love… and how we spend our dash.”
 
To paraphrase Joseph Epstein, “We do not choose to be born….  We (most of us) do not choose to die; nor the time or condition of our death…But…we do choose how we live.”  
 
There is no better way to honor Margie’s life and her profound effect on so many than to choose to make a difference for others every day just as she did.  In a world continually filled with sound bites and pictures of hate, violence, and negativity, we can choose to be the messenger of hope; the light at the end of the tunnel; the rainbow in someone’s clouds.
 
RIP Margie.  The world was a better place because you lived here.  We look to the heavens as you soar with angel’s wings and hope that you will continue to smile down, encourage, and inspire those you left behind.  Today you have inspired me to write again, a blog you will not "like" or comment on, but one I had to write.  So in your honor, I renew my quest to make a difference as I live out the rest of my dash.

I'm happy to say that I'm walking regularly again.  My usual path consists of traveling around our circle driveway many, many times during my 30 minute walk. I realize this is a redundant path, but it has given me the opportunity to get better acquainted with our cats as I observe their behavior during my walk time.  The kittens are especially fun to watch, but I have noticed there are also many lessons to learn from all our farm cats that can help us make a difference.

Relationships Matter.  I know there are many of you who consider themselves a "pet person" but I tend to be a "people person" so pets are nice, but I prefer them to be outdoors in my world.  I am never mean to the cats, and would miss them if they were gone, but in reality, I am a disappointment to some of my cat loving family and friends.  However, my husband and son could be considered cat whisperers because they spend quality  time with our cats and as a result have a close relationship with all of them, wielding a lot of influence over their behavior.  I, on the other hand, occasionally throw a can of cat food into their bowl, scratch their heads and talk to them as I pass by.   I readily admit I am attached to them somewhat, but in no way do I have a quality relationship with them and alas, it shows.  Do you know those who treat people this way too?

The kittens tend to be leery of me, even afraid, but the older cats know that I'm good for a couple of minutes of petting them and a brief "how are you" conversation, so we're more like acquaintances than friends.  But if I take the time to talk to the kittens one-on-one in a soft voice with my hand extended to them, I can usually entice them to let me pet them.  One small victory for the people person.  

On a recent walk, the kittens were gravitating toward the highway that runs past our house.  I was trying to talk them out of this and encouraging their mother to get them back to the yard, but my directions were falling on deaf ears. As I began to adjust my path to go round up the kittens, my husband came out of the house and saw what was happening. Immediately he tells them to get back to the house and away from the road and they all did exactly what he told them to do!  Isn't that just like people?  We listen to those who we know care about us.  It's no wonder when he comes outside they come running, and when I come outside, they often run the other way!

One of our kittens is a little different in the way he looks compared to the other three, and definitely is different in his temperament.  My husband calls him "Timmy" because he's naturally timid, slow to trust others, and easily spooked. All the kittens are just as cute as can be and very active, investigating and pouncing on unsuspecting bugs or blowing leaves, and wrestling with each other.  Even Timmy lurks around checking out all the sights and moving things he finds in our yard.  He is a little less timid if his siblings are around - a good case for the old adage that there is safety in numbers.  The kittens chase each other up and around the trees, exploring the junk around our barn, and follow me while I'm walking.  They are naturally curious and looking for fun.  Just like our own human kids tend to be.... until we tell them to sit down and be quiet. 

In contrast to the activity of the kittens is the slower pace of the adult cats.  They lay around, eat, groom themselves and each other, go directly from point A to point B without much investigation, and wait for the "people" to pet them and give them some love.  They tolerate the bouncing kittens who want to play, but passionately defend them when a stray tom cat ventures into our neighborhood.  They are content and in their happy place.  Isn't this like a lot of adults you know?

School is getting ready to start in the next month and my farm cats made me think of the many relationships and feelings that exist at school, whether it's an elementary school, high school, or university.  There will be new students and teachers too, who are both excited and timid in their new situation.  They will explore and investigate their new environment and find comfort and allegiance in those who give them attention and make an effort to know and guide them.  We can only hope it will be the kind of attention we want them to have. They will also be unsure, and will view new situations and some people with skepticism.  We hope someone will reach out and give them a hand, mentoring them toward excellence and fulfillment.  

As they gain more friends, they will gain more confidence, try new things, and understand their boundaries.  They will continue to be excited and energetic if that is what we encourage.  We want them to settle in and be comfortable, but not so comfortable that they no longer are curious and become complacent.  

I worry about the kid that is different or who hasn't found their niche in their new school.  There is comfort in having a circle of friends with whom to play or study, or simply eat with at lunch.  We often think of new students, but forget that there are new teachers too.  They may be totally new to education or simply new to this particular school.  They too need mentoring and patience as they find their way in a new environment.

How will we respond to the kids in our school, our classroom, on our bus, or in our community?  All kids need to feel like they belong and are cared for by those who live and work within their world.  All teachers need to feel they are supported and appreciated too.  How will we make a difference?  Will we just throw some food their bowl and pet them occasionally, as I have done too often with our cats?  Or will we nurture them and give them the attention they deserve so they can trust us and know they are loved and cared for like my husband and son treat our cats?  


I may not be a pet person, but I am a people person, and I want to make sure I do my part to be welcoming and helpful to others every day.  My grandsons will be attending a new school this fall.  I hope someone makes them feel welcome, nurtures them, and helps them find a positive place to learn and grow so they will feel right at home because it's a little farther to grandma's house than it used to be.

 

In World War II, and probably in other wars too, American bombers sought to destroy the bridges of our enemies.  This single act served to thwart their movements and cut them off from supplies and each other.  It was an effective strategy and theoretically, no one had to die (although I'm sure many did).

A few years ago, the state highway department replaced a bridge near our house.  Who knew how often we drove across that bridge on a daily basis?  It was the most direct route to town, to work, and school, and also went right past my parents' house.  A detour was provided, but certainly was not the preferred route.  My mother often complained during this construction time that we rarely saw each other any more.  It was because the detour didn't allow us to easily go to their place even though we were less than 1 mile apart.  We had to back track and make the effort or they had to go the long way around to get to us, and apparently we often fell short.  Bridges are significant infrastructures.  They connect us to others and the services we need.  They make our lives more convenient and surprisingly, more meaningful.  Sometimes we fail to appreciate those bridges until they are unavailable.  When confronted with those large orange detour signs that warn us "ROAD CLOSED AHEAD - BRIDGE OUT" -  we realize reaching our destination just got a little more difficult, and we might not be the only ones who feel cut off.

One of my passions in education is moving from knowing and doing.  With this in mind, it is important to remember that the very nature of bridges helps us connect, getting us from point A to point B, whether it's through travel, learning, or taking us from knowing to doing. Examining and creating connections to real life or things that are familiar, makes learning meaningful.  Personal connections make everything we do more fulfilling as we feel a part of the larger group where we can receive support while working toward common goals.

Personal connections are indeed bridges to understanding.  My favorite teacher in middle school and high school was certainly knowledgeable in his field (English) but it was the relationships he built with his students that built the bridges that helped us understand and feel connected.  We cared about what he wanted to teach us because he cared about us.  He made it a point to know us and make us feel that what we thought and did mattered.  When we were seniors, we dedicated our yearbook to him.  Simon and Garfunkel's, "Bridge Over Troubled Waters" had been a big hit during my high school days (yes, that makes me old) and we used that theme to honor this man and the influence he had on us.  I often use the following quote from Teddy Roosevelt in my workshops and with my students, "People don't care what you know until they know that you care."  Caring is the first step in building bridges.  This is a valuable lesson we must take with us everyday as we go to work or school, work within the community, and especially when we are with family and friends. Taking the time to build those bridges is truly worth it in terms of how it makes us feel, others feel, and how effective we can be.

New situations would be made easier if we worked harder at building bridges.  When we enter a room with unfamiliar people, making those personal connections during introductions helps us remember their name and immediately builds a bridge.  Extend that to the work place or a group that you are set to lead.  As the new "boss," the first priority should be building bridges, relationships if you will, with the staff/employees/members. It is imperative to take the time to woo their hearts so you both believe they matter, both as people and as workers or members, much like we woo the affections of a potential mate.  Those team building activities at the beginning of meetings or class may seem like fluff, but they are important to building those relationships that will make a difference in how well the organization will run. You may have big dreams and high expectations for those you oversee, but to paraphrase Roosevelt, until they know you care, they won't care what you know or what you want them to do.   We have great power at our finger tips if we realize that everything we do and everything we don't do matters.  

New employees or members would also benefit from our efforts to build bridges so that their experience as a part of our team is beneficial to both them and us.  They will learn the required processes more quickly if we have established mentoring relationships and a framework to provide information and support so that their transition to this new role will allow them the opportunity to be successful.

Answering "Why" questions helps build bridges to understanding the need for change.  It helps make the "how" and the "what" more meaningful by defining the purpose more clearly.  Taking the time to address the "why" questions - proactively if possible - builds bridges by recognizing the individual needs, questions, and concerns of those involved.  Leaders, including parents, often start with the 'what" or the "how" and only address the "why" if asked.   Again, everyone needs to feel like they are being heard - that what they think and feel matters.  As a result our responses to those questions that are voiced matter too.  And FYI, despite what you may have heard, "Because I said so" isn't an effective bridge-building response either. 

Then there are those times we must rebuild bridges that have been damaged or destroyed by our own words or actions.  The Marshall Plan was enacted to rebuild war-torn Europe after World War II.  One of the first things that was addressed was to rebuild the infrastructure (roads and bridges) to connect people and reduce their isolation.  These were the very bridges that we had bombed just a few months or years earlier and now we were set to help rebuild them.  We have all had moments where we have said or done things we wished we could take back, but the damage was done.  How we respond will determine if the relationship remains strained or ruined, or if we can find ways to re-connect.  We can't undo the damage but we can go forward and rebuild.  As our babysitter used to tell our kids, "Sorry doesn't fix it, but you can change that behavior."  A few years ago, I reconnected with my childhood best friend, after years of estrangement over some stuff that happened in college (pretty silly as I look back), because she reached out to build a bridge across our strained relationship.  I am thankful every day that she took that chance and that I was able to respond in kind so that we could rebuild that friendship.  That new bridge is priceless.

What bridge will you build today?  How will you be a better friend? How will you be a better leader?  How will you make a difference in the lives of others?  As you find a way to make someone feel like they matter, remember YOU matter too!

"No matter what anyone tells you, words and ideas can change the world"...."That powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse.   What will your verse be?"....  "Carpe Diem!  Seize the day - make your lives extraordinary."  Robin Williams as John Keating in Dead Poet's Society, 1989

This week, world has lost an incredible talent.  Robin Williams could entertain us and make us laugh uncontrollably just as easily as he could inspire and bring us to tears.  Today we mourn the passing of an icon, not taken by illness or accident, but by his own design.  He wrote the ending for a script that we were not prepared for.  Like everyone else, I stopped when I heard the news, wondering if I'd heard correctly, and immediately started thinking about the many ways that he had entertained me, and yet wondered about the incredible inner struggle he must have had going on inside.

The blog I was working on just wasn't coming together and I hoped my walk this morning would bring the words that had been out of my reach.  But instead, my thoughts kept coming back to Robin Williams - the characters he played and the life he probably led - and how all of those things could provide us with so many powerful lessons as teachers, parents, and just people.  And so I have given in to those thoughts... and I hope you choose to read on.

Inspiration.  The quotes I used to start this blog are from one of my favorite movies, Dead Poet's Society.  I was inspired by Williams' character, English teacher John Keating, who defied the standard, dry, uninspiring, instructional delivery system as he worked to help students create meaningful connections to the literature they read and created.  I have always wanted to stand on a desk and get kids' attention, without falling off and creating a scene!  He challenged their thinking and encouraged them to take risks, think beyond the boundaries to make a difference, take charge of their own lives and become extraordinary.  What more could teachers or parents aspire to do with and for our children?  What more could we want our children to achieve?

Doing.  Mrs. Doubtfire, another fabulously entertaining movie, provided us with gales of laughter, but more importantly a message of love and how we must take a stand, and stop talking about what we believe to be true, but take action instead.  There was never a doubt that Williams' beloved character Daniel Hillard, turned housekeeper and nanny Mrs. Doubtfire, loved his children.  But it took the loss of those children during his divorce to make him act on that love, doing what was required to see them and nurture them, no matter how outlandish the ploy seemed.  What will we DO for others?  What are we willing to sacrifice for those we love?  We know parents will go to great lengths to protect their children in emergencies, and we have also seen many examples of teachers who shielded their students from the wrath of a tornado or gun-toting shooter.  But what about the everyday advocacy that we all must do for our children to help them develop into learned, worthwhile citizens?  Who will DO what is needed to make them feel loved, valued, and that who they are and what they do matter?

Beyond the Surface.  Robin Williams made us laugh, but struggled with his own inner demons.  Did laughter, or making others laugh, provide him relief for his own bouts of depression?  Or did these attempts just mask the real problems?  I have listened to and read many things about Robin Williams as tributes are paid to him and the pundits attempt to explain why this happened.  My take on this is that we often show the world the side we know they want to see and mask our true needs or pain.  We cope.  We find ways to help ourselves feel normal or numb.  We laugh when we are stressed or feel like crying.  We act like we don't care when we really do care - a lot!  Sometimes we medicate or drink or find some other artificial means to take away the pain, and then medicate some more so we can feel again.  And sometimes we just say, enough is enough.

We must look around as educators, at the students and colleagues with whom we teach and work everyday.  Do we take the time to know them well enough to see how they mask what is below the surface?  Do we assume their outward facade is the real them?  I love the quote that floats around on Facebook from time to time because it reminds me of myself.

             "I'm a strong person, but every now and then I would like someone 
                 to take my hand and tell me everything is going to be alright."  

Those of us on whom many depend also have vulnerabilities but we often mask that need and brush off attempts to help us out.  I had a principal once, who in his typical unprofessional way, was berating me for some imagined thing I had done or wasn't doing, and I started to cry.  He then railed at me even more and asked why I was crying because I was always so tough nothing ever bothered me!  I had covered my own insecurities quite well and his assumptions cracked that facade.  What caused that final crack for Robin Williams'?  We will probably never know.  We would all like to believe it wasn't because he wasn't loved by his family and adoring fans but maybe it was because of the pressure that adoration caused.  It would be an assumption on my part to think that maybe he didn't love himself as much as we did, but then again, mental illness makes us believe things that just aren't true or clouds our judgment of reality.  

Today and Beyond.  We must be willing to take the lessons of Robin Williams the man and learn from those as much as we learned from the characters he played.  Life is not without struggle and hardship as we wrestle with our strengths and weaknesses, loves and losses, successes and disappointments, in order to find balance.  What verse will you write today?  How will you make a difference or change the world in some small way?  Seize the Day and seek to live an extraordinary life!

Today is my birthday and I am blessed to have been showered with countless (although you can count if you want to) birthday wishes posted to my timeline (as is the custom on Facebook), traditional cards, and e-cards too.  But one post today encouraged me to "Have a Happy Birthday and Blog On!"  I thought about that birthday greeting, and decided I would do just that!

I love to blog about others, issues, education, and things that inspire me, but while I love to tell a good story, blogging about me is not something that comes easy to me, or a subject that I would imagine most people would want to read about.  But today's my birthday, so I am taking this opportunity to say some things that are near and dear to my heart.

I could talk about the things I love to do, the passions I have for the teams I cheer for, the places I love to visit, or the place I call home.  But today I will focus on the intangibles...those things you really can't measure or touch in terms of how they make you feel.  As the saying goes, the best things in life are not things.

I am blessed by a wonderful life.  I have a husband of 35 years, children, and parents that love me and support me in all that I do.  I am also loved and surrounded by siblings, in-laws and extended family.  But no one plucks my heart strings quite like my grandsons.  They bring a smile to my face and a warmth to my heart that is unequaled.  I am interested in things they do that I never thought were interesting before.  I want to come to their rescue if there is a problem, and have found strength and patience I never knew I had as a result of being bestowed with the title of "grandma."  Once when my oldest grandson slammed his fingers in the sliding door of my daughter's van at a KSU football game, I carried all 50 pounds of him to the ER at the hospital that was conveniently located across from the stadium, but still quite a distance from where we were.  On a normal day, I can barely carry in the bag of potassium for our water softener from the garage 20 feet into the house.  Yet on that day I carried him without a thought, and I wasn't even tired until I put him down.   The youngest grandson often greets me, running at full speed to give me a big hug, saying, "Graaaannndddddmmmaaa!" Whose heart would not melt at that greeting? Those boys inspire me to feel more and do more than I ever thought I could.

I am a collector of many things - blue glass, Santas, and moose to name a few, but I also collect "friend" items and quotes because friendship is important to me in ways many do not understand.  A quote by Vincent Van Gogh kind of sums it up for me:
“Close friends are truly life's treasures. Sometimes they know us better than we know ourselves. With gentle honesty, they are there to guide and support us, to share our laughter and our tears. Their presence reminds us that we are never really alone.”

Friends improve the quality of one's life and I am lucky to have many really good friends who make me laugh, and who appreciate and support me for who I am and what I aspire to do.  They have enriched me both personally and professionally, and some have helped me achieve my dreams of owning my own business and making a difference in the lives of others.  I am also fortunate to have a few very dear friends who I can rely on for just about anything.  Their love and support get me through the trying times, provide me the opportunity to get things off my chest and experience gales of laughter.  No matter the distance between us, we still get each other.  Mostly we can just share the everyday things without any fanfare or pretense.  I have enjoyed a week of lunches and good times to celebrate "my day," but in reality, it is just friends being friends.

I have also been blessed to have a career in education that has been fulfilling and continues to provide me ways to feel relevant and engaged in life.  I have made countless friends and acquaintances because of my educational experiences.  I love the interaction with students no matter what their age, seeing them grow and gain new understanding before my eyes.  This week I have had the additional blessing to be reminded by some former students, now adults, that I did make a difference in their lives along the way. I am humbled and grateful that they take the time to share this with me.  It is also endearing that some still call me "coach" despite the years that have passed.  I have so many fond memories of the times spent in the gym or at the track. Those are bonds sealed by sweat and tears and will never be forgotten.

Finally I know that without my faith in God that none of this would be possible.  The life I live is part of a plan that I cannot begin to fathom.  I know I'm here to make a difference some how, some way.  I know that people cross our paths and situations happen that seem insignificant at the time, but alter the course of our lives.  I know that I often plan and hope for things that never happen and while I am disappointed, I know that there is a reason - something bigger in the grand scheme of things - that I just don't see yet.  But when I look back later, I will see why something did or didn't happen and the result of that action.  I believe God supports me when I can't do it alone, but also has a sense of humor and winks at me to let me know He's with me.  I have a wooden cross hanging above my desk - a gift from one of those dear friends - that says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."   I love this and what it represents.  And it is from Proverbs (3: 5-6), my favorite book in the Bible, because it's full of God's locker room slogans for life!

My wish for you as my birthday comes to a close, is that you identify and celebrate the blessings in your life.  Find the good; focus on the silver lining, and see what a difference it makes in your life so that you may make a difference in the lives of others.  Enjoy your year - I know I will!

Have you watched the Lego movie that has been in theaters recently?  I watched it with my grandsons, thinking that I was doing them a favor, when really that movie did me a favor.  It had a great plot for kids - but also for the grown ups that took them to see the movie (good idea movie makers!).  The underlying premise:  You'd be amazed at what you can accomplish if you believe you can. Recognizing that often comes when someone else believes in you or notices what you have done.  As a parent, grandparent and educator, this is gold.

When Accomplishment Leads to Optimism
Today as the sun shines into my office, I am feeling like I am feeling accomplished and ready to tackle another project!  There is a whole new attitude exuding from me!  Why you ask?  What did I do that was so life-altering?  

Did I get a new job?  No - nothing that big.  But I finally completed a job that I have put off for a long time - because I guess I didn't have the necessary motivation to tackle it!   I have finally re-sorted the books on my shelves that I so deliberately put in alphabetical order by author when I first moved in a couple of years ago.  Why is this a big deal?  Because I look for TOPICS not authors, so I have had to look through every book to find the appropriate resource unless I know who the author is.  Today's little accomplishment has organized my office, made resources more available and useful, and will help my friend who needs some information from my wealth of resources.  Yes, her request was the necessary motivation I needed to overcome my procrastination.  She believed that I could help her and suddenly the state of my resources took on new importance and made me not only want to do the job, but do it now!  I feel proud, energized and ready for the next project!

Believe In Me so That I Can Believe in Me
So you think it might be silly to blog about such as reorganizing my books?  I think not.  Optimism and hope are reasons to get out of bed each day regardless of our age or vocation.  Without those things we feel unmotivated and irrelevant.  Every day I walk into my office, look around, shrug and think I'll reorganize another day.  What does it matter?  It's just me in my office.  Everyone else can stay out.  But when someone else needs you, then suddenly, it matters - because what I am doing matters to that person, and as a result, matters to me.

Relationships are important to the quality of everyone's existence.  We rely on others to help us see more clearly, provide us with feedback, to share our hopes and dreams, and to help us feel validated or relevant.  What messages are we sending to others?  Do we let them know we believe in their ability to succeed, and recognize their progress?  Our words and actions let others know that we believe in them or not; that we value them or not; that we support them or not.  

The Power of Positive Intent
What is Positive Intent?  It is not merely optimism.  It is a belief of ability, that what can happen will happen, of expectation rather than failure.  It can be held by the individual, by others about the individual, or by groups.  It's what you think about, how you phrase your self talk or what you say out loud to others.  It is an expectation.  It's a big deal and it sets people up to succeed... or not.

Establishing expectations is a way of providing someone with belief in their ability to succeed.   It is positive and intentional.  You can... you will...  In school, we provide rubrics so students can guide their own learning and know when they have met the expectations.  In everyday life, we provide parameters of time and quality to do the same thing.  

Allowing someone to do a job independently helps that person to believe in themselves because you "allowed them" to do it on their own.  Give them the tools to succeed but don't do the work for them.  Watch their face light up as they accomplish what they set out to do.  Remember the first time you tied your shoes, rode a bike, swam across the pool, or finished that first 5K, ALL BY YOURSELF?  It's that feeling of satisfaction that provides us optimism for the next job at hand.

As individuals, we have the ability to regulate our own thoughts, control our motivation, and ultimately our actions.  Like the Little Engine that Could,  "I think I Can" gets us through a lot of tough situations, but may not be enough.  Without the feedback or reinforcement from others, we are often unkind to ourselves.  We fail to appreciate what we can do or realize how much we matter.  Humans rely on reinforcement.   We don't need external reinforcement as much as we need to feel appreciated and valued.  And with those feelings comes the attitude of optimism and hope.  Life is worth living!
 
Are you the sunshine that someone needs to emerge from their gloomy day, the encouragement they need to take the next step?  Make a difference for others and for yourself.  Find a way to focus on the positives and share that optimism with others.  No one wants to be irrelevant.  I have another friend that closes every workshop by saying, "You matter."   I truly believe that and I challenge you to help make someone else feel like they matter too!

"Create a life you can't wait to live."  This quote by Zig Ziglar says so much to me about our outlook, our passion, and our willingness to plan and act in a way to make that happen.  

Notice that the first part of this statement is about the action of creating - not about wishing it to happen or expecting others to make it happen for us.  We can be inspired by our own dreams and the encouragement of others, but each of us creates our present and our future by our dominant thoughts and the choices we make.  Whatever you do, wherever you live, or whatever your age, our choices determine our path.

Every action (or inaction) has a consequence - intentional or not.  Do we plan (and act accordingly) to succeed or set ourselves up for failure by failing to plan?  Do we live life with purpose and expectation of good things?  Every morning we wake up with a new opportunity to make a difference in our own life and the lives of others.  Do we take advantage of that opportunity by our intentions and our actions?  As you look in the mirror each morning, ask yourself, "What will I accomplish today?  How can I make a difference?  Who will I touch or influence?"

We must also recognize that not every plan will turn out as we intended, so we must anticipate roadblocks and be flexible when things go awry. These things don't keep us from our intended goal, but certainly may offer us a detour or a longer path.  Again, what will we do in response to these challenges?  Creating is messy. It takes time and effort.  It is much easier to buy a packaged product or follow someone else's lead, and sometimes that is OK to not reinvent the wheel. But make no mistake, SOMEONE took the time to do the creating, and we can't always assume that there will be something out there that will fill our need.  Creating does not ensure perfection, but it does give us a chance to control our own destiny.  

The action of creating should come with a vision, a plan, and ultimately a decision.  My dad used to tell me, "Not to decide is to decide."  Those are powerful words.  We can choose to sit back and wait or we can choose to move forward.  But if we wait too long or are indecisive, the results are no longer in our control.  Choosing to create takes courage.  There is no one to blame but ourselves if something goes wrong, yet the success is ours as well.  When we create our own destiny, the reward seems so much sweeter. 

Purpose requires Passion.  "Change your thoughts and you change your world."  Norman Vincent Peale offers an important perspective that must be present if we are to "create a life we can't wait to live."  If you "can't wait to live," you are excited, eager, and enthusiastic!  And your attitude is contagious.... so so choose to be positive and passionate.  There are a multitude of quotes out there that encourage us to strive to think positively, so why not choose to have an attitude that will produce positive results?  One of my favorites is "Attitude determines our altitude."   Whatever thoughts dominate our consciousness will provide the framework for us to see possibilities, to achieve, and to persevere through the inevitable challenges that come our way.  Unfortunately too many of us choose to to be discouraged, fail to start or just simply, give up.  It is an ongoing internal battle to maintain this positive outlook.  Of course there are days when we are discouraged, but choosing to find that light at the end of the tunnel gives us a place to focus besides on our present situation.  Move forward with thought, word, and deed.  Rear view mirrors in cars are an  important feature, but the windshield is bigger for a reason.

We are educators.  Change happens to us every day, every school year,  without fail.  We often have no real say over the policies and decisions (that impact our schools and classrooms) made by voters, legislatures, board members, and others despite our best efforts to influence those decisions.  But no one else controls how we respond.  Every day we have the opportunity to make a difference in spite of the changes going on around us.  Choose to be a positive part of the change.  Choose to create a classroom, school or district where everyone is excited to go to work and to learn each and every day.  It begins with you.  "Choose to create a life you can't wait to live" and then spread that passion to everyone you meet!




 

I have been blessed to have grown up in a family of educators, to have been influenced by some amazing teachers and coaches as a student and as a colleague, and to have chosen education as my career.  It is the season to think of the blessings we have been given and those that have accompanied us along our lifelong path.  Where would I be today without the guidance and influence of the great educators that taught me, mentored me, and inspired me?  Teaching is not just what I do; it's who I am.  I am a life long learner because the teachers in my life made learning fun for me, and helped me see the importance of knowledge and understanding.  More importantly, they gave the greatest gift of believing in me and helping me to see that I was capable of many things if I only put my mind to it.  The connection between teacher and student or coach and player, is a powerful one that transcends the content.

I am still thinking about the heroic teachers who protected and loved their children through that horrific tragedy last week in Connecticut.  I am thinking of my nephew who is leaving his paraprofessional position to complete his degree, and how much he impacted the students he is leaving behind, and truly how much they impacted him.  I am thinking back on the many little gifts I received from students wanting to wish me a Merry Christmas, and while those were special, and many still hang on my tree each year, the light in their eyes and the warmth of their smile as they wished me a Merry Christmas was the greatest gift of all.  

I am thinking of my college friend, who taught and coached in Texas, and died unexpectedly last year, and the outpouring of love and admiration that was expressed by the many students she taught as they dealt with the loss of their beloved teacher and coach. 

I am thinking of my dearest friends who are still teaching in the classroom everyday, trying to make a difference in the lives of children who may not truly understand all that they are learning is not in the textbooks or the lessons planned for them.  As teachers, we often wonder if what we are doing really matters.  But all it takes is one thank you, one hug, one look at the light in the eyes of a child or a grateful parent, and you know with all your heart that you are doing what you were meant to do.

I also feel blessed to have the opportunity to continue to teach when my grandsons crawl up in my lap to read a book, or to be able to help them with homework, or to show them something they've never seen before.

So thank you to the many teachers who have gone before me... whom I probably didn't tell often enough (or at all) how much they meant to me.  And thank you to the schools who hired me, the students and colleagues who made me want to come to school each day and see what could be accomplished, and to the schools who allow me to come in now to help improve the teaching and learning in their building.  God blessed me when he put that idea in my head a very long time ago that I wanted to grow up and be a teacher.  What a wonderful journey it has been!